flagstaff pride, gypsy chicks, and my history of fire dancing

finally! a good day in flag. i think that most weekends in cities i will have a good time, most weekdays probably not. perhaps if college were in session right now it would be different, but probably not. i am pretty sheepish around college students.

so, the day started like any other (an ominous first line...), however i woke up later than usual. it is getting easier sleeping in the truck, i have found some good ways to arrange my stuff to make it more comfortable, and that makes things more comfortable. so, around 8:30a, i pushed off from my parking place and went towards the store to get something for breakfast and the post office to see if a package had arrived for me yet. no suck luck, looks like i will be here til monday.

then i came downtown and putted around for an hour, just walking up and down the streets i now know so well. i walked over and around the pride festival, looking for a good place to set up when the time came. around 11a that time came and i set up about 100 yards from the main entrance but the foot traffic came in spurts and i was set off to the side. however, shortly after setting up i sold two bracelets real quick and i was feeling good.

i stayed there until about 3p and ended up making $55. i was pretty happy with that. i had set up the night before at the square and didnt sell anything in two hours. mostly because of the bane of my existence. frank. jesus! why wont this guy leave me alone. he is 55 years old, and a fellow traveler/crafty person, he makes postcards. he just talked my ear off about all manner of things for the better part of an hour. i tried to be as disinterested as possible, but there was a certain niceness about conversing with someone, something i havent done for awhile.

but today, he found me again and just talked my ear off for over an hour. all about the girls he has fucked in his life. as we watched a parade of pride folks stream by he gestured and talked loudly about the many conquests he had had in his life, taking it back to hawai'i in 1986. i paid him even less attention, and eventually he got the hint and took off. he said that he was tired of making me sweat with his stories. as if. after he left i vowed to make a few more sales then pack up myself.

after that i went and had some lunch. i havent been eating out recently, which means i havent been eating hot food. so i treated myself to some thai food and was happy for it.

then i meandered back toward the main square for the gypsy chicks dance ensemble. it was pretty sweet. i watched them for about 20 minutes then went to go get my camera.

the gypsy chicks

i came back and took some photos, and who found me? yep, frank. again, telling me about the ladies he had slept with, in detail, and how they compared to some of the dancers. i was grateful that he only sat by me for a couple of minutes.

i enjoy watching people be creative in action. things like dancing. i took a number of pictures. eventually, the busted out the swords and said that there might be some sword swallowing, but that was never actualized. then, towards the end, a couple of the dancers starting doing fire dancing without the fire. and this is where we segue into my history of fire dancing.

i actually remembered this incident a couple nights previous and made a note document this memory. i have no idea why i was in san francisco. it was when i was traveling with the clown bus (whatever year that was...and for whatever reason), shortly after i had acquired my life friend happy mr. clown head. anyway. we were in the east bay and i was rolling deep with waffles the clown among others (i can only remember waffles name).

these were hard core clowns. waffles had his face paint tattooed on, forever a clown. so, we parked the bus a couple blocks from the this dance party/rave/i dont know what along the train tracks. the place we were at is well known and has a name, which i forget. i was at the party for awhile and i started drinking some clear liquor straight from the bottle, something i am not known to do. someone made mention of fire dancing and i was out the door.

there were fire dancers, fire spitters, and more. and i was drunk, i wanted to do it. it looked so easy. i went up to one of the dancers, i think was one of the clowns i was with (because why else would someone give a drunk stranger a ball and chain on fire.) and i danced my ass off. i was twirling that thing and jumping and having the time of my life. then i start doing the twirl on the side and whacked myself in the back of the head with the fire end and burnt off a portion of my hair. in my drunkenness i didnt think anyone noticed and kept going. but then someone took the thing away and fire and me were separated for a number of years.

what number, i am unsure. the second time i danced with fire was in portland when our dear friend gdm was visiting from england. he had brought gear with him to fire dance and at some party he busted the stuff out, again i was drunk and insisted that i knew what i was doing. i do believe i assured him that i had done this before. i dont recall any mishaps this time, but i also dont recall what year it was, so i am going to play it safe and assume i messed up with it. and that is my fire dancing history. too bad happy mr. clown head wasnt here to tell part of the story.

so, then, i watched the rest of the gypsy chicks dancing and just sat around for awhile in admiration of this town that only a couple of days ago i had so much disdain for. pretty much every night they have some sort of entertainment in the downtown square and the weekends seem like lively times that draw people from all over the surrounding area. i could like it here.

my life conundrum

as a child and pre-teen i was a shadow. when i was a teenager i was punk rock. in my early twenties i thrived on travel and new experiences. in my mid twenties i was an activist. it my late twenties i dont feel like i am anything.

this is magnified by these current travels. when i go places where i dont know anyone i have a hard time just meeting new people. i am too mainstream to fit in with the counter culture/punk rock/travel kids and i am too jaded to fit in with the mainstream folks.

i probably could find myself at home with the congregation of activist folks, but that requires commitment and conviction that i am not convinced i have any longer. plus, i think it would be cheating any folks that i got involved with if i were going to be as transient as i currently am.

in reality i think most of my life i have felt like i dont fit in anywhere well. i think i fit in with activists folks so easily because i had tasks. simple or complex, if given a task i have a great mind and ability to complete it. i can usually direct others well in the pursuit of completing a task. but right now i dont have that. i dont have a task to give myself, a common goal with the various parts of me. so i just kind of fester in a mode of stasis. just barely doing the things that make me alive and kind of sleepwalking through the rest of my days.

hopefully the change i seek is on the horizon.

flagstaff, you are doing nothing for me.

so, welcome to flagstaff. i have been here since monday, i am pretty sure and, well, there just anything great here. it doesnt help that i was immediately turned off because there is a bunch of construction happening around the downtown square and that is where i am spending a majority of my time. same as in prescott.

but, in prescott, the downtown was more like a park and this is more like a plaza. all paved. so, i am just having a hard time acclimating to it. but i have been walking aroud the downtown area, participating in some of the events, like last nights free class on the charleston two step. and i tried to go to the farmers market yesterday but couldnt find it. mostly i have been spending a bunch of time just sitting around downtown on my computer or reading a book, making necklaces.

and i am not the only one. there is a community of folks in every town that are doing what i am. generally they are older homeless folks or younger derelicts. or traveler kids. and i just dont find that i fit with any of them. although i havent showered for awhile, i am still "clean." i look clean, i look like just a regular person. i want to have some purpose and it seems with those people, specifically the ones here in flagstaff, that they are living their purpose. and i just cannot let that be me.

something that has been strange to me is my physical nature. i have been having shortness of breath and some trouble being motivated to walk around and experience things. i was trying to think what it was, and i dont think that it is because of poor health. i mean, i am not eating that great and could be doing more exercise and stuff to maintain a decent body weight and keep myself in some shape. but it feel like my heart is just having a harder time getting the energy to pump blood.

and then i figured out what it was. i have been at elevation over 5000 feet for the past two weeks or so. here the elevation is 7000 feet! which is pretty amazing. and, every little town or city calls itself "the mile high city." for some reason i always only thought that denver was a mile high city, probably because it is the biggest one, but still. i had no idea that so many communities and people existed at these extreme elevations. i have never spent a significant amount of time at a high elevation, so this is a new experience for me.

although i dont really like it here, i am staying until sunday or monday. my plan is to head to the grand canyon then and stay there for the week, mon-fri-ish. i have been emailing the park service about ways to stay there for the week. they have one campground, which is probably huge, but also costs $18/night for no hookups. and i have to pay $25 for a week pass just to be there. so, i have been asking if regular vehicles can park overnight in the regular parking lots, and i have been getting round about answers, until yesterday when i was told yes they can, but you arent allowed to sleep in them.

i am going to give it a shot anyhow. and do a number of the day hikes they have up there, and just be around experiencing the nature. i have never been to the grand canyon and apparently it is going to be some amazing awe-inspiring experience. i believe that i will be in awe, but i have been told i am not prepared for the awesomeness that i will experience.

leaving prescott.

jerome.

leaving prescott was pretty undramatic. i went to the store and got a bagel and some breakfasty type things, then went and did laundry. for being so enamored with the place i thought that something more would happen. but i guess it is me that makes things happen. and what i made happen was leaving.

so, on the road to flagstaff i journey. first i stop in jerome, about 24 miles from prescott. my sister tuesday recommended it as a good place to stop. she also said it was a ghost town. she was right and wrong respectively. apparently it was designated a ghost town in the 50's when there were less than 100 people living there, but now there are over 500, and it is a thriving tourist place.

sedona.

and it was amazing/beautiful. it is a small town carved directly into the side of a mountain. i walked around a bit, took some photos of the landscape and then pressed on. it seemed to be just a tourist trap.

so, then i came to sedona arizona. and coming up to it i was in awe. probably the most beautiful landscape i have ever laid eyes on. violently red rock cliffs, with trees dotting the mountains. you can see clearly the different levels of sediment or whatever that were compressed to make the mountains. and i vowed to stop and enjoy this town.

i found a visitors center and got some info. there are some great lookouts and hikes and a nice little downtown area, and all of the stuff that you would want. except it is another tourist trap! you have to pay to go on the hikes, all the shops are way overpriced, and there are way too many people milling about for this small out of the way mountain pocket.

i was planning to stay overnight here, but now i might as well push on to flagstaff.

i like this sign.

and push off i did. now i am in flagstaff and it isnt something yet. it hasnt given me that great draw that prescott did. i cannot compare the rest of the trip to prescott, but i probably will. at least for awhile. anyway, i got in and found the downtown area, walked around a bit. i think what is turning me off is the construction that is happening in the downtown area. it is loud and annoying.

i will stay here tonight and see what changes tomorrow. it is also monday. that doesnt mean that much to me, but to most of the rest of the folks it means that they are at work and at work tomorrow and such. so there isnt as much going on.

macrame as money remix

sweet! so, as i have written already i have been making bracelets and necklaces the past couple of days with the intention of selling them. an intention i have had in the past and have never actualized because i am a big scaredy cat. for real. yesterday was some happening at the square and i didnt set up a display because i was making bracelets specifically for a person. she bought hers so today i had no excuses.

my a frame, and some wares

i had built an a frame the day before and had the set up all in my head. everything was ready, but i needed something to calm me. so, i decided on music. i went and bought some little speakers that run on batteries, that i could plug my ipod into. i got to the square around 9 am. there was an antique show happening, and i tried to talk myself out of it because it wasnt the right crowd. so i cruised around a bit and scoped the scene.

eventually i talked myself back into setting up and at 9:30am i had my a frame, little table, my chair, macrame supplies and my speakers. i walked to the spot i picked out. i was trembling. actually shaking, i was so terrified. i starting setting up, it only took a couple of minutes and then i plopped into my chair put on some music and dug my head into some macrame.

slowly, the trembling stopped. i was into the music and everything was fine, except no one was stopping. which was okay with me. it was early and i had never really sold anything this way. and then, around 11am it happened. someone stopped, a biker couple, and they bought.

they bought two bracelets and were off. then a lady came up and looked and asked if i would custom make her a bracelet. of course i would, she told me what she wanted, i told her to come back in a half hour. she came back, another couple came by and had me custom make them each a bracelet. some lady stopped and grabbed two necklaces and a bracelet. it was all just happening. and it was easy.

it felt like i was making alot of money, and i was having trouble keeping my hooks stocked becasue they were flying off the hooks, or i was making things custom. i sat there until 4pm, when things were winding down. i checked my pocket and i had $80 more than i started with. WOOT! in total, i sold 3 necklaces and 11 bracelets.

fnb also came around 2pm so after i had packed up i had nothing to do. i wasnt hungry, i didnt want to sit in the park or make more macrame, it was too early to start wasting away at the bar, so i just sat and stared into space.

and that is what this trip is all about, this self described "life journey." i dont want to have to sit and wonder what to do, i want to just be content sitting and not feel like i need to plot some future action. alternately i want to just know what i want. i never have. i have always just been open to what comes and appreciative of that. i want to want something.

i am moving to prescott arizona

someday, maybe. it is so nice here! the slogan for the place is "everybodys hometown" and how true. yesterday was awesome, i made $20 selling hemp bracelets without even trying. i also bought materials and created a necklace/bracelet display case. very fancy. and i made a bunch more in between.

i dont know what was happening yesterday, exactly. there was what looked like a car show, then a biker brigade, and ongoing was a folk arts festival. today is an antique show.

last night was SQUARE DANCING! but, at first i was disappointed. i got there when it was slated to begin at 6:30, because i hadnt anything better to do. but it wasnt what i expected. it was a laptop computer with a prerecorded voice leading very old couples through two steps and waltzes and stuff. i sat for about 15 minutes and was ready to leave.

but i stuck it out and at 7 the square dancing began. again, not what i expected. see, in portland a square dance is a bunch of kids and a couple older couples enjoying some live old timey music with a caller. generally the caller leads you through the dance slow and then through it at real time so everyone can get it. kind of like an always beginner class. but with live music and raucous dancing.

there was a caller, who was very good, but the music still came from a laptop, and it was modern music (think karaoke music) with him calling over it. and he didnt call out what he was going to do first, and he went very fast, and all of the people dancing (three squares) were "professional."

so i just sat and watched. they looked like they were having a great time, but it was pretty low energy. around 8 it was getting real cold and i was thinking of leaving. but then! the caller asked all of the pro dancers to pick someone out of the crowd to show 'em how its done and how easy it is.

ginger picked me out, and i was very eager. i told her i knew the basics and loved square dancing. we were the head couple of the first square. the caller called it slow through once and then we did it real time. and it was a blast! i love square dancing, can i say it enough?

but i wouldve enjoyed more upbeat music. i was actually dancing as we all circled left and bopping through the dos-i-dos. ginger informed me that the proper way was to shuffle your feet through, and not to lift them. i appeased her, but the fun is in the dancing. because, to me, square dancing is supposed to be real fun and okay to be wrong and just about getting out there and performing a beautiful calculated dance with other people.

and thats what it was to ginger also, but we have different ideas of beauty apparently. they only did one square dance like that, but i was happy to at least be able to get out there. they hold classes starting on september 13th, so i guess that could be a goal to get out here by.

if indeed i plan to move here. no promises, especially since i am still in the beginning of my trip. anyway, perhaps more square dancing will come down the line. more joy.