self reflecting golden future

the days have absolutely flown by. so much so that there was a day called monday and i have very little to no recollection of what transpired that day. using various forms of technology and the memories of others i was able to cobble together that i didnt do anything worth remembering that day anyway. tuesday, however, i got back on the horse.

after a few false starts friedel and i actually got to hang out together again. i think we had tried to make it happen on sunday and then again on monday but neither of these times panned out into face-time. we planned for tuesday morning, but soon that seemed like it would fall by the wayside as well. it was an important thing for us to get together, mostly so i could leave then with saying a proper goodbye.

she had an appointment in the early afternoon, so i hung back and made it over to culver city around 2 in the afternoon. there was a fierce rainstorm battering los angeles while i was driving and arriving at her house. this is more rain than los angeles is used too, i hope it isnt my fault. i went inside for a minute, but this is a house of dogs. i am sure that i have intimated that i dislike dogs, the most glaring reason for my dislike is the smell of a dog when it is wet. it is the absolute worst smell in the world to me - i like the smell of burning hair more.

i do feel it is necessary to note that although i "dislike" dogs, that doesnt mean that i hate them or think they are bad they just arent a thing that i would want to be around for a long time. and so, since it was raining and the dogs were wet and jumping, we didnt stay here very long. instead friedel whisked me away to a pho restaurant in little ethiopia. it was good. we had a very large bowl that the two of us were unable to finish. we chatted there mostly (or most of my memories were) about the phrase "i am sorry," the responsibility of sorrow and life. (there has been so much redacted text in my various writings recently...) so, that happened.

dessert and a coffee

and then we got back into the jeep to go back to her house. i failed to mention the jeep earlier, this was the first time i had ever been in a jeep and that was an experience. but this was a borrowed vehicle and it had to be returned. this time we werent at her house for very long before we got back into my truck and drove to the lacma. i would type out what lacma stands for but i am not entirely positive, it is the los angeles museum of contemporary art. we were under the impression that it was free after 5:pm so, to kill the remaining time, we went to a diner.

for a dessert and a coffee, it was also the kind that had little jukeboxes at the tables and we played about eight songs. and in this restaurant setting friedel decided to get the "art talk" out of the way. i guess it is a strange thing, but i things that i like and things that i dont like and i am pretty sure i know what they are. but because i am only pretty sure i leave it open, i know i dont like baby corn but i will try it every time it is in front of me. for years and years i knew i didnt like olives until i ate them and did like them. i love art. i think art is awesome, but most of it i dont like and i find almost all of it to be useless.

this is not how they want you to interact with art

making these statements to friedel brought into another conversation where i was attempting to talk myself out of a corner. i am not very good at writing myself out of things, so i am - again - not going to try. or at least i am going to say i am not going to try and then proceed to try in such a way that is half-assed and i have the "way out" because i never wanted to write the dumb words anymore. my mind works in such a way that i do not even understand it...it is like the museum of jurassic technology. oh - to have a hot air balloon of my own!

i think art is useful in a specific time and place and most generally do not find it "timeless." i agree that it tells a story, but as the stories change the art must also change and grow with it. some things must be discarded and disregarded, while others will be built up. i dont know much modern art and certainly dont like much of it. i like street art, i find that art tells stories pertinent to me and this period that we are living in. if i had to choose an artist that represents what i mean, it would be cataldo. he is also just a nice person.

and that will be the end of my anti-explanation. we had some fun in this museum. i am the type of person that, to put it easily,likes to test the rules. i like to touch the art. i think that the art should slowly decompose as the ideas that created it also decomposed. i also like to take pictures, and when these thigns are put together it turns into a fun day. it has been kind of a theme for me to take people to places where they should not have fun and entice them into fun. the most recent was getting adam in dallas to interact with the art at whatever museum we were a part of. yesterday it was enticing friedel to engage in something similar.

standing on surfaces that boldly state "do not stand," crawling over and under the art installations, touching the paintings, and - of course - frequently interacting with the security guards. we went through an umber of rooms and eventually we were engaged by this lady who had been following us around. barbra had been watching us since the first breaking of the rules, and when she offered to take a picture of friedel and i interacting with art together i was convinced that she was an undercover for the museum and was going to steal away with my camera.

the picture our new friend took

the truth is stranger than fiction. maybe not this truth, but that is a good thing to remember anyway. barbra turned out to just be enjoying the way we were interacting with the art and wanted to also be a part of it. when i had first thought she was undercover she was really just watching to see if friedel would take the step onto the forbidden platform. and then we started talking and became friends. she is an activist from pittsburgh so we talked a bit about the g20 this past year. i told her how i darted just before the protests because i wanted nothing to do with it at the time.

then i reminded friedel of our friend who lives in pgh and it was someone that barbra also knew so we had, what, two degrees of separation. we just hung out chatted in the museum for ten or fifteen minutes, it was nice. but we had to part ways into different wings of the museum. we continued throughout the museum until i found something that i really liked: joseph beuys. specifically his doodles and sketches, that kind of stuff is awesome to me. not that it is useful or has meaning, but still really great. it is the kind of thing that i would prominently hang in my future house and just stare at for hours and be in a state of complete joy. maybe i'm strange.

then we made it outside into the garden of streetlamps and i got into an argument with a security guard, i showed him my golden ticket but he was not impressed and asked us to leave. i huffed and puffed and then told him we were done there anyway. after some turning around friedel directed me to the beach, but it was closed so we kept on back to culver city and the ever popular grocery store. i cannot describe how much i miss the idea of a grocery store.

but is this really art?

i get into the sad/happy mode while i am inside one. i am sad because i miss so much the simple joy of shopping for food and then making it into a delicious treat on my home fire. but then i get real happy thinking about the day when i am able to experience such joy again. what do they say about taking things for granted and then being apart from them until appreciation is gained. something like "i never saw my hometown until i stayed away too long." anyway, the day i get to buy whatever i want from the store and then think about it as i ride my bike home from the store, prepare it and eat it. those are the days i live for now.

but shortly after we got back to her house friedel got a call she needed to take and i took this as an opportunity to leave. we parted ways again and agreed not to let another five years pass without seeing one another. i drove back to tiffs and talked to her for awhile. i had mostly made the decision to leave in the morning and i wanted to just enjoy being around this person who has been my friend for so long. after awhile though i needed to think about sleeping if i were to actually leave the next day.

so i thought about it until austin came home. and then he insisted on finishing this drawing he was making for me before i settled into slumber. it was very nice and is tucked away in my truck for display in whatever place becomes my home next. and in the morning i slowly prepared and finished convincing myself to get out while i still could. and here i am back in santa barbara. oh it was so long ago and yet again here i am.