from the big city to the homeland

shit, i alow myself to get behind on the days because it doesnt seem like there is much happening, but then when i sit down to write, the floodgates pour open and i find all these little details that i recall and so many that i have forgotten. i really should think about carving out an hour or so each day to compile my thoughts, i think that it would allow more creative freedom and i would recall so many more things.

friday, it rained. alot. i woke up late, as per usual in this city, and it wasnt raining that bad so i continued with my plan to sneak into lollapalooza. there werent any bands i wanted to see, it was going to be more of a recon mission than anything else. the rain might have even been a blessing for me to sneak around a bit more. but by the time i got downtown the rain had picked up and i wasnt really into the idea of getting soaked, so i went to my fallback and started exploring some other hotels.

i dont remember which ones i made it into, just that there wasnt much to be had from them and i found myself back at the chicago hilton eating fruit and drinking tea in the executive lounge. i had also made another attempt to the roof and found a few other artifacts that i could bring back. i tried to get alex to come pick me up so i could bring alot of stuff back, but he couldnt so i put most of it back and left with two bottles of vermouth and a few minor artifacts.

i got back to the bar and there wasnt much happening, alex was busy and there were a number of people in and out of the kitchen so i didnt really want to hang around there. i called nick and he found me on the street to take me shopping with him. shopping wasnt very exciting, but he got some food and we went back to his house where he prepared a meal of tempeh, red beans and rice. we sat at his house for awhile and talked about a number of things. then i was ready to go back to the bar, nick came along and we sat there drinking again.

one of the friendlier bartenders / person ive hung out with more was working tonight so she just kept refilling our drinks even though it was busy. that was very nice of her. alex also invited another friend be hang out with this night, his friend from high school, jenn. in high school i didnt know her that well, but she went to technical school with my girlfriend at the time so i knew of her. alex had a huge crush on her and i believe it persists to this day.

when she came alex went upstairs quickly to shower, and jenn just sat at the bar. apparently, she didnt remember me well enough to just come sit with me and nick. we deliberated for awhile for the best course of action to introduce ourselves to her, and eventually i just went up and talked to her, and she came and sat with us. we talked, she asked if i went to the high school reunion, then alex came back.

i would have loved to have gone my high school reunion. i was never contacted for it, but man i so wouldve been there. i am so much more confident a person than i was then yet i also feel that the eccentricities that i portrayed then are still a part of me as a person. so basically i wanted to go laugh at all the people that i grew up with that didnt like me because i was an individual then and would probably envy my individuality now. it wouldve been gratifying, but in a kind of mean/revenge way. i guess we will all have to wait for the 20 year anniversary.

anyway, we kept on there drinking for the night. and something strange kept happening. random people kept coming up to the table and saying hi to me, using my name, wishing me well, hoping that i have a nice trip, and saying that they were happy to have met me. i didnt remember many of these people, but nick assured me that they were people that i had met at the bar in the recent nights. he and i talked about how nick has come here at least 20 times and none of these people remember him but i am here for one night and all of a sudden everyone knows my name.

that is a blessing and a curse. i used the fact that i was memorable more in my youth because i liked the spotlight more. now, i am more laid back and certainly more forgetful of people so it is less of a blessing. amazingly, people still like me and sometimes like me more when i dont remember them, perhaps getting introduced twice makes them feel more special or something. it just makes me feel like a dick.

after we closed down the bar, we went to the house where some of the bartenders live and carried on there until the wee hours of the morning. that was nice, but i dont remember much of it. i do recall me being an ass to the folks that we were with and them giving back the same amount of sass. maybe even a little bit more. when i left there i thought that i had been mean to those people and maybe scorched a few friends before we were really even acquainted. oh well.

alex, jenn and i walked back to the bar/apartment...at about 4 in the morning. alex and jenn went upstairs to do whatever it was they had going on, and i was back in the truck. usually i enjoy being back in the truck, but it was almost morning and the days have been hot here in chicago, so i didnt think that i would get very much sleep in this night. i did get at least five hours though and that turned out to be good enough.

i went upstairs and took a shower, then i went back downstairs and yelled from the street into alex's window to see if he and jenn wanted to go get breakfast with me. this was 10:am. they didnt reply and i didnt make more of an effort, instead i hopped on the bus and took it to the lincoln restaurant about 10 blocks down the road. i ate and then went back to the apartment. this time i walked, i was feeling better. i went upstairs and the two of them were gone. the bar had recently opened so i figured alex would be down there, so i went and checked.

no such luck. although, i almost had him. what i really found was his brother. about three years younger, but the same look and build as alex. i talked to him for a bit but he didnt seem to remember me or give a shit that i was there so i got my computer and sat in the bar for awhile using it. then, around noon, i set off to find my way into lollapalooza.

i got down there and it was a mad house. the day before there werent that many people - it was raining - but today there was a mass, a stream of people down the sidewalks and i fell in line. when i got to the entrance i turned and walked along the fence to where i had gotten in two day prior. i was walking slow, against the grain, and casing the joint. jumping the fence didnt seem hard, they had staff people about every 100 feet or so on the fence, but i knew that there was a double fence for most of the way.

while i was doing this, a group of kids ran at the fence and hopped over it, maybe ten kids in total. they appeared to make it over and be fine. the staff folks chased them inside, but once you are in you look just like everybody else. i wasnt feeling particularly nimble and didnt want to hop the fence anyway, i wanted to sneak in not break in. eventually i came to the end of the sidewalk and people werent allowed to walk along the fence on any other sides of the park, we had to cross the street and walk behind a barricade on that side. i crossed, but instead of walking behind the barrier i walked on the street side of it and jaywalked back to the other side.

here, i looked just like everybody else, except i didnt have a lanyard or a bracelet. i walked along and came to the spot where i sneaked in the first time, behind the main stage where the semis were. there are three semis and one guard. i walked by the guard and as i did so a golf cart full of folks obstructed his vision and i should have ducked in between the semis then. i wouldve been in, backstage. but i didnt. i was scared to because once i was in i wouldnt have any credentials to prove i should be there, i was only a quarter way around the perimeter, i didnt want to get caught and kicked out just now.

so i continued on to the next street. again, i was forced to cross and told that i wasnt allowed on this sidewalk. now i am on the far side of lake shore drive and 6 or 8 lanes and a barricaded sidewalk separate me from another barricaded sidewalk. i walked about half the way down this side and found a split in the barricade, there werent any crosswalks open so i stood and waited for traffic to clear a way for me. once that happened i made it to the median and walked back along that for awhile until i found a break in the other barricade. then i crossed, hopped the barricade and was on the sidewalk.

minor success. i was somewhere i shouldnt be, great. but, quickly i was spotted by a staffer that saw me before and forced me across the street while admonishing me against being on this side of the street. so i walked back to the median and waited for him to leave. then i came back to the forbidden side and walked up to a service entrance. as i walked up a cart was pulling out and the driver asked if i wanted a ride.

hell yes! i jumped on the cart and thought that this was a sure ticket in. we rode down the sidewalk almost to the very end of this side. then the driver turned into the gates and we were in. however, as we were driving in a staffer held his wrist up as a way to say that everyone should show him their wrist so he could see their bracelets. i held up my bare wrist while everyone else held up their braced ones, he whistled for the cart to stop and with a little embarrassment i got off. he didnt say anything to me, he knew as well as i did that i shouldnt be there and i just continued walking down the street.

eventually i met a wall of staffers and security that forced me further from the fence (i later found out that this was where many of the artists trailers were) and i was started tog et discouraged and upset with myself for not taking my first opportunity. i found myself back to the side that i started on albeit at the opposite end, and again i wasnt allowed to walk along the fence. i kept finding ways to circumvent that and stayed as close to the fence as possible. but when i got back to where i started i kind of gave up for the day.

there werent any bands that i wanted to see this day and i had done some good recon, i ascertained that the weakest point was at the semis and i could use that information along with everything else i'd compiled for sunday, the day that bands i wanted to see were playing. so i decided to leave. i was tired from walking in the heat and wanted some easy scores so i went back the hotel strip. i went into one hotel, didnt find anything interesting and as per usual i went back to the chicago hilton. this time, i almost struck gold.

i went to the executive suite and had some tea and an orange, then i went up to the suites. my hope was that some band had rented out a suite and had an open door policy. what i found on the first suite level was playboy. yes, like the magazine. they had rented out both suites on that level and both doors were open. i got off the elevator and quickly darted into the suite that looked less occupied. no one was in there. i walked around and congratulated myself for getting in there. i looked at some things, the make out room, playboy twister, went through the bar, the master bedroom, and then settled on sitting and reading a magazine.

my idea was that something was about to happen in this room and if i am already in here when it starts i will look as if i belong more. while, i hung around there for about twenty minutes before some lady came in and asked me what i was doing there, because the event was already over. apparently i came in the waning of the event and by being where nobody was i missed whatever was still happening, if i could have even made it through the people at the other door. so, i left rather quickly and was adequately refreshed.

i took the el train back to my truck and found alex. we had planned a party for this night on the roof of the bar and i spent some time inviting my friends that i thought lived in the city and then went and rested in alexs room for awhile. i figured that i didnt have much sleep and i would probably have a late night again. i napped for a bit then came back down to the bar around 9:pm. the bar was absolutely packed. alex wasnt very busy, but i didnt want to be in the packed bar. instead i went to the liquor store and bought two cases of pabst for the party. it sucked carrying two cases of pabst 6 blocks.

then i tidied up the apartment a bit and sat up there waiting for people to show up. the first person to show was my old friend mike tsirtsis. he was already hammered when he showed up, so he wasnt much for conversation. but we chatted on the roof for awhile, enjoying our beers. i felt a bit uncomfortable because i invited him to a party and it was just the two of us. but shortly after that nick and heidi showed up as well.

heidi, i hadnt seen since my debacle at her wedding. again, we were never really great friends, but we knew each other for a long time and she is hilarious, so we chatted for a bit. then alex came up from work and my friend abby texted me saying she was down at the bar. i went to find her and by the time she and i got back to the roof alex and mike were shotgunning beers. kind of embarrassing, but hilarious as well. then the irishmen showed up. and they were really the life of the gathering, telling jokes and riddles, drinking to keep pace with alex and mike, etc.

but mike, bless his heart, had had too much too drink and eventually (without alerting anyone) found his way to the alley and fell asleep on someones car. he was standing up. when i noticed him gone from the party for awhile i went and looked for him, but couldnt find him. when i went to urinate, however, i looked out the window and saw him there. he seemed harmless and fine. so i left him there and showed other people just in case. however, someone called the cops and eventually his little brother had to come pick him up.

the night just kept going on. around 2 in the morning jenn and her friend showed up at were a bit uncomfortable, but whatever. we drank through the two cases of pabst and a cases of icehouse before alex went and raided the bar for another case of beer around 4 in the morning. by this time abby had left with one of the irishmen (i was concerned about it since i didnt know the irishmen and hadnt seen abby for quite awhile) and the gathering had pared down to just me and alex, jenn and her friend. that was about the end of it. jenn and her friend decided to drive back to hammond, alex went to sleep in his bed, and around 5 in the morning, the sky lighting up in the east, i went into my truck to sleep.

around 8 in the morning it became too hot to sleep in there. i woke up and sat awake for an hour trying to convince myself to just fall back asleep, it wasnt happening. so just after 9 i got out and faced the day. it was horrendously hot out already and i was still drunk. and super tired, so i decided to ride the bus. i jumped on and rode it for about an hour then got off and rode it back. alex said he had to get up for work at 11:am so i was hoping that he would be up and out by then and i could take over his bed and air conditioned room.

again, no such luck. he was still asleep, his alarm went off about a minute after i busted down his door. he said that he didnt actaully have to work until noon. so i left him to sleep and went back outside. i got on a different bus and rode that for about a half hour and then back. by this time, alex was up and at work. i went into the bar and chatted with him for a minute and then promptly took over his bed and started to sleep as if it were the first time for the night.

i didnt get up until about 6:pm and i was okay with that. i had planned to sneak into lollapalooza to see some bands i wanted to (lou reed at 6:30 and janes addiction at 8:30) but now i was just hungry. i went down to the bar and chatted with alex again, i asked if he would make me food and he did. that was nice. then we sat at the bar for the next 3 hours wasting away the night. i drank water and ate my hamburger with tots. it was good.

then i felt i had to do something that day so i walked around for a bit and then back to the bar. alex was getting off of work and going back to indiana that night. i gladly went up to his room and slept in his bed for the night. the next day we had plans to be with his son going to the field museum. and i had decided that night that i would leave chicago after the field museum. the nights were getting too long for me to bear and i was just ready to move on.

i didnt get out of bed the next day until almost 11:am and wasnt really happy to be out when i got up. i got in touch with alex to meet him at the museum around noon and we did just that. i wasnt entirely pleased with the field museum and the special exhibit (pirates) wasnt what i was hoping for. but with a kid in tow you cant just walk away. max wanted to go to every part of the museum and i was quickly getting worn out, pooping the party. when we finally got done there my family had started calling me asking about me coming to see them.

i had planned to get to indiana around 5:pm, but it was 4 already and we still had to get to my truck and drive back to valparaiso, no quick task. i followed alex back for most of the way, but split off and made it to valpo aound 7:pm. the first person i saw was my brother. then we went inside and saw my dad and bobbie, my stepmom. we all went outside and chatted for a bit, looked at the truck, shared some stories. then the night wound down a bit and my brother and i sat and talked about life for a few hours.

that was nice. i feel an obligation to help him through his rough patch in life, and i think just sitting and talking with him does help. now i am here. i will be here until the end of august, with my family doing s ome family things and seeing some friends that i havent seen in a good long time. but i guess that is what i have been doing this entire trip. alas.