leaving the grand canyon / mesa verde cliffs

desert view tower

in grand fashion, i left the grand canyon. around ten in the morning, i made my way out, heading east on highway 64 - which runs through the national park. on my way out i stopped at the east entrance and desert view monument. the monument is the tallest structure in the park and offers the most sweeping views.

the way it looks it could have been something built by natives peoples as a temple to the sun or an outlook on the terrain, you know to track game or something. but, the first plaque lays it all out, this building was designed and built in the 1930's, it isnt a replica of any specific building but it is meant to fit right in. personally, i would have rather them lie to me and tell me it was 700 years old. something that is surprising, however, is that most of the historic buildings built

the snake

in the grand canyon national park were designed by a woman. it is surprising that a female architect wielded enough influence at the time to get the contracts.

the views from that tower were quite spectacular, the inside had been painted by a native, depicting native scenes and was overall very well done. you could see the colorado river very well from the landing and it afforded a great scope for the magnificence of the earth. also, there was a snake there, coiled up right outside the visitors center. that was pretty neat.

after that, i made my way to the exit. something about this day, i spent the most money yesterday that i have in one day on this trip. at the exit i pulled up and

one of the paintings

talked to the rangers about upgrading my entrance pass, from the $25 seven day pass to the $80 year long pass that gets me into all national parks that charge a fee. so, $55 more and i am headed on the highway.

the way out of the main national park area offered the view of the canyon that i had expected upon arriving. it was much more a sheer drop, a plateau and then a sheer drop to the colorado river. something more like my vision of just being able to stand on a precipice and look down at the raging colorado. i wanted to stop and take a photo, but i didnt. i didnt do what i wanted to do.

there isnt much to the immediate east of the main grand canyon. i drove in relative desert with plateaus and mesas in the distance for about 50 miles, when i reached the crossroads of highway 89 and 160. that is where my turn would be. from 89 north to 160 east. steve had pointed out this intersection to me and sent me a photo of it, it is a northern area of the painted desert. so, instead of just

four corners

rolling plateaus and desert, now i have small hills with very distinct color patterns, and a lot of road construction.

around this time my good/old friend adam called me and we chatted for a bit. i will see him when i get to boulder, only a short while before he leaves for portland. what a coincidence.

again, i shouldve taken more pictures, but i was running quite low on gas and was nervous to start and stop a number of times for how much fuel that would burn off. eventually i came to the community of keyanta and got gas, which cost about $40...pushing my daily total to about $110. i looked at the map and saw that the entire area that i was driving through and would drive through was navajo reservation. it is sad to see the box that the imperialists forced the natives

a dead forest

into. especially given the climate and resources of the area. i continued on, towards four corners monument.

that is where the four corners of the states utah, colorado, arizona and new mexico meet each other. it is on navajo land, and justly they charge a fee for people to come and take pictures. i found it strange that i had been traveling for 36 days and had only been in three states. yesterday i doubled my state total in just a few moments...but that is for another time, i have special plans for an entry all about state lines and borders in general.

i had already gotten further than i wanted to that day, so i charted a course for

dead art

the next major town: cortez colorado. finally down with arizona desert now i have moved into colorado desert. i got to cortez and started looking for a place to change my oil. i had driven about 4000 miles on this oil and it was time to get it changed. after some searching i found a place and caught them just before they closed, i paid $42 for an oil change. my daily total comes to over $150 now! that is much more than i am used to paying for an oil change, but it needed to be done.

that done, i was ready to sit down and have a drink. i looked around for a nice divey bar. no such luck. the bars on the main street were all sit down restaurants/bars and predominantly for bikers. i dont have anything against biker bars, but i wanted to sit at a bar and just nurse a beer for a bit, not be in a restaurant. eventually i didnt find anything. so i bought some food and ate it in a large park, then pushed off to find a place to park for the night.

today i looked around for some kind of festival or happening this weekend in cortez or durango (the next big town) where i could go sit for a couple of hours and try to sell some necklaces, but no such luck. just a rodeo and a car show. so, i left

the first ladder

cortez for mesa verde national park. only about 10 miles away.

however, once i got to the park it was 20 miles driving in until i got to anything. i didnt know what mesa verde was coming into it. i just saw it was the next national park and i had this nifty free pass to all national parks, time to use it. quickly i found out that it is a preserved site where pueblo people used to live. pueblo, cliff dwellers, awesome.

i drove in for awhile, through 100's of acres of what appeared to be petrified forest, but in reality is just the remnant forest from a large forest fire in 2000. most of this park burned from 1996-2000 in about 5 major fires over 30,000 acres of the park burned. it creates a wonderful effect.

there are three tours through cliff dwellings here that you have to pay for. there are two main section of the park, one of them employs a tram that takes you to the top of a cliff where you go on a guided tour of one of the dwellings. it costs $3,

the tunnel

and i want to do it, if only for the tram, so i decided i would explore the other side today. in this park there are over 4700 sites where remains of cliff dwellers and pueblo people are marked. there are numerous vistas where you can see the ruins in the cliffs across from you. i employed my binoculars heavily today.

unfortunately, there isnt really any hiking in this park, probably as a preservation tactic for the various ruins. i drove and parked at various sites, took a bunch of photos and reveled in awe at the wonder of these places. eventually i came upon the first paid tour area. i walked up behind one of the tours and listened to the talk the ranger was giving, when he finished he said for people to follow him down this large flight of stairs and he would take tickets at the bottom. bummer. so i waited till they got through, went down the stairs and tried to follow, but padlocked and barbed wire.

so i pushed on.

the cliff palace, with a ladder down into a kiva

not long after that i came to the second paid tour. same routine, came up behind a group that had just gone in, listened to the ranger talk, then we are going down a flight of stairs. he didnt mention about grabbing tickets so i joined the throng and went down the stairs. success! i went on the balcony house tour for free. apparently it is the most strenuous tour of the three. and it offered some pretty amazing stuff.

for one, after the first area we had to climb about a fifty foot ladder to get to the actual dwelling area. that was great, then we had some talks there and looked around. we had to climb another short ladder and go through a crevice behind the houses to get to the third area where the kiva's were.

kiva's are pits dug out about 10 feet deep and then roofed with wood and thatch and then covered with stone so they are level with the walking area. they are religious places, complete with a path to the underworld that has a small stone over it so no one falls in. the ranger gave his longest talk, which got a bit religious itself,

a kiva, this one didnt have the hole to the underworld plugged any longer

talking about putting the most important thing in your life in the forefront and living your life for whats important, and not getting caught up in things that are relatively unimportant. he received thunderous applause when he was done.

then we went to leave the balcony house. however, to get out we had to squeeze through a tiny tunnel. and i mean tiny. my ass had to wiggle through a bit, i am not a huge person, but looking at it i was nervous about getting stuck. i made it into the tunnel after the wiggle and it opened up into a tall cavern and then quickly closed back down into a tiny door that i again had to wiggle through. then we had to climb another ladder about 50 feet and walk across footholds in the the sandstone to another 50 foot ladder to the exit.

i thought it was fun, and i was quite surprised how many people there were that made it without any real problems. it wasnt the fittest bunch of people, some had big backpacks and one couple each had a baby on their back. i wondered how they made it through the tunnel. then i left for more driving and stopping, sightseeing, pictures and binocs. i was starting to get quite tired of it, the starting and stopping, so i decided to push on towards the lodge where i would find my rest for the night. one thing i hadnt counted on was that i hit back into central time zone sometime yesterday. so it is an hour earlier than i had thought.

i will spend the night here, explore more tomorrow and then decide to stay another night or move on again. also, i love life.

safe haven

as i headed from california into arizona i passed mile upon empty mile of empty desert. i knew that people used to live in the area, people being indigenous people. i knew that the emptiness, the burned out barren landscape didnt have to be so.

in my head i started plotting, i had mirage images floating in my head of tents and adobe structures, of wells and green fields full of crops. of a small community of like minded people, working together to work the land and a living. see, not only is all this emptiness there, it is also all for sale. for the most part. what i saw were 160 acre lots priced to sell. i didnt actually see prices, but thats what the signs said.

while not very original, i started seeing handmade highway signs pointing in my direction. they were painted the familiar green of highway signs stating the distance to destinations, instead of plain white lettering the words "safe haven" were written as if by children with paintbrushes and paint of many different colors.

i imagined this being a sort of underground railroad for migrants coming from mexico, a safe place to hide out from the border patrol. a sort of halfway point, for being on this side of the line.

along a stretch of whatever highway i was on, a railroad paralleled it for many miles, i imagined having signs along the rail way, and the conductors slowing just enough between the signs for any travelers to disembark and make there way to the desert haven that stretched out in front of them. people streamed into this community from all sides.

i imagine this in pre-apocalyptic times, i imagine something like this now. as i moved on eventually i came to the ruins of casa grande. here was a community of a couple hundred people that had built homes and gathering centers in the middle of the desert, a community that had existed for thousands of years. around 1300 c.e. they built the ruins that we see today, by 1450 c.e. they had abandoned the site.

and today, while i was leaving the grand canyon, another ruins had been unearthed and put on display. this was a much smaller community of about 30 people, there were two gathering huts and 6 unearthed dwellings. they had also found a field where the community had grown crops like corn and beans and squash. and another open area where the community engaged in recreational activities.

and as i read more about surviving in this desert climate, with conditions as they are today, it is bleak. the water table, once a mere 12 feet below the surface is now over 100 feet below the surface. the rivers that once streamed through these lands have been dammed further upstream, and the water is diverted for irrigation and running into city taps. the animal populations have slowly moved away or died off due to the changes in the environment.

little exists in these wastelands because little can exist. they are wastelands by design. they are wastelands due to the interference of human beings, and these 10's of 1000's of acres exist as a testament to the future we are driving toward.

at some point, somewhere, i would like to have a piece of land where a community can exist. i have lived in community for a number of years and i believe that it is possible to live completely off the land in community, now. with that, i am making my way to this years rainbow gathering, i have never attended one mostly because i dont think i am dippy enough for the hippy dippy crowd. but i could be happily mistaken.

this journey i am on is about taking the chances and oppurtunities that are afforded to me. this is one of them.

technical notes part 2

well well well. i have filled up my gas tank 5 more times, and we all know what that means! more technical notes, something that i find amusing, and necessary. now, finally, i am getting more into the groove of the trip, the idea of it that had shaped in my mind before i left. that idea was to be moving about 300 miles/week. or, more specifically, i would get somewhere and be there for a couple of days never traveling more than a gas tank at a time.

well, i filled up my gas tank 5 times in ten days on the first technical notes. for reference it has been about 11 days since the last time i filled up, and 26 days since this cycle started. that is a drastic change, and one i am happy for.

so, over the last 26 days, i have bought 73 gallons of gas, and traveled 1678 miles. i spent $185.57 on that gas. my average is 23 miles per gallon. it makes sense that this is less than the previous, because i have done a bunch more city driving than i had in the previous calculation. also, this average is much more in line with what the truck should be getting and what i had hoped to get from it.

continuing with averages: i am traveling about 336 miles/tank of gas; i am putting 14.6 gallons into my tank each fill up; gas per gallon is about $2.54; i am spending $37.11 at each station; and i am filling up about every 5 days.

it total i have traveled 3609 miles since i left portland on may 14th. which means i have traveled about 100 miles per day on average! i would like to bring that down, drastically. however, i am only traveling at about 4.2 miles per hour. on average. so, if i had been walking 24 hours a day since i left, i would be about the same place. interesting.

thats enough of the old geek out session now.

charting a course

well, i have thought about it and tomorrow morning i will leave the grand canyon. tonight i did my laundry and took another shower, as i am unsure when the next one will come. after that / while my laundry was drying, i sat out in a parking lot with my chair and cooked some food int he back of my truck, then listened to shicky gnarowitz as people trundled about. it was very pleasing.

clean, clothes and body, i made the decision to leave and had a long look at the map to plan my next move, chart a course, find some direction. i am going to head east on highway 64 through grand canyon national park and exit the east entrance, catching a few more sights along the way. as i leave i am going to upgrade my pass to a year long pass to all the national parks. i can apply the $25 i have already paid to the $80 pass. i think it will be worth it.

i will head toward highway 160 and continue taking that east. i will stop at the four corners monument and stand in four different states at one time. then i will continue north east toward mesa verde national park and stop there for a bit. then i will continue east to durnago. and that is the extent of the plan. once i get to durango i will consult my map again and face some tough questions.

the hardest thing will be to figure out to head north or east. if i head north from durango i will head toward boulder and continue from there south into texas. if i head east from durango i will chart a course for colorado springs and head north from there.

this matters because of the course i will chart from there. if i head south into texas that puts me in a huge state with a number of places to visit and wide open space with no clear direction. if i head east toward indiana i have a bunch of people to visit and will slow down dramatically as i get closer. choices. this country is large.

yesterday in the grand canyon

or the last two days, either way. i have spent my time hiking. lets start at two days ago.

two days ago i went to the bright angel trail head and descended into the canyon. i have trouble finding places to start, with writing, not hiking, so, let me rewind a bit. all over this place are signs and warnings about the people who die in the canyon each year. the most frequent sign says that more than 250 people die in the canyon each year and it has a picture of a 20/30 something fit young man and underneath his photo it says "most of them look like this."

the first time i saw it i was talking to a ranger about some caves that i had seen on the cliffside and i wanted to know what they were. he said that they were not man made, they were most likely just washouts. so i asked him if i could go check them out, emphatically he said no and pointed the sign out to me. i told him that the person in the photo was much fitter than me so i had nothing to worry about.

anyhow, i didnt try to get to those caves, it was quite treacherous to them. and i am not the idiot i pretend to be. so, two days ago i went to start the bright angel trail, and right at the beginning of it is a placard/warning sign. it has a young lady on it running the boston marathon. it explains that she finished the boston marathon in under 3 hours (27 miles!) and wanted to hike to the river and back in one day.

she and her companion ended up getting lost somewhere along the way and didnt have adequate food or water. once they realized they were in a desperate situation, the split up and tried to find the way out. the marathon lady ended up dying of dehydration in the canyon and her friend made it out alive. these are the warnings they give you at the trailheads.

although it is a mile deep and about 10 miles across, the depth doesnt take into account that when hiking you dont go straight down. with that warning, i started the trail and had in my mind to go to the three mile mark and turn around. i figured three miles wasnt so far.

well, getting down the trail wasnt so bad, it was all switchbacks downhill, a wide trail at an agreeable angle, no problem. i was going pretty fast and it was a bit overcast so i wasnt getting very hot. and i just kept going. i watched the people coming up and they were mostly a mess. sweat drenched and dripping, barely moving, and i started to second guess myself.

it took me about a half hour to get to the first rest stop, a mile and a half from where i had started. it seemed like i hadnt gotten anywhere, just past the first level of rock, heading into the red rock areas. i talked to someone who was coming up, and he said that it was about 6 more miles to the tip of the trail where you start to descend to the river!

i consulted my better senses and decided that it didnt make much difference if i didnt go to the 3 mile mark, becasue it would be the same-ish as where i am now and it would be that much longer to get out. i made the right choice. coming back up was a huge pain in the ass! it took me almost two hours to get back out, i was pacing myself and stopping every five switchbacks or so and resting. i would read about 10 pages of my book and drink some water. let me brething return to absolute normal and then move on up again.

i enjoyed it, but i would really like to have been able to hike to the river.

yesterday i went out to hermits rest. hermits rest is the "end" of the grand canyon village area. that is where the bus makes its final stop, there is a trailhead to go into the canyon. i didnt do that again. instead i took to bus to the end (almost an hour bus ride -- with stops) and started to hike back to the lodge area. about 7 miles.

it was pretty good, i was on the rustic trail right on the rim for most of it, and for about two hours, there was a storm brewing and threatening just to my west and north. it rained off an on, but never very heavy, there was lightning in the distance and i hoped for a flash flood. no such "luck."

i only hiked about 5 miles back, it took me about 3 hours. after that i was pretty beat. i took a number of photos, but my camera batteries were dying, so i didnt get all the shots i wanted. upon returning, i walked around the lodge area a bit and just hung around watching the crowds.

for a large part of the day i ruminated on this question: when do human beings stop being part of nature? because, we are nature, natural beings, right? but our presence also disrupts nature. the paved roads, the helicopters and planes, people talking on cell phones, etc. because we are nature, is all that stuff natural? clearly not, so at what point is our existence no longer natural? when are we no longer part of nature, and just something else, spectators or something?

anyway, after awhile i got in my truck and starting driving toward the market/restaurant near where i have been parking to sleep and the traffic was just a snarl. i thought about honking my horn, but then i realized why. there was a huge elk just in between the roads and people were stopping to take pictures. i swung around the cars to a smaller road and parked and just stood there snapping photos and watching it for nearly an hour.

a ranger came up in the middle of it and i had to move my truck, so i parked in a lot somewhere and walked back and on the way ran into a pack of deer just foraging hear the elk. it was pretty neat.

by then it was getting dark and i went to the restaurant had some food and then parked to sleep.

my first accident / my first ticket

lets start with my first ticket. well, lets start with learning how to drive. i started learning how to drive when i was 13 or 14, after my parents had gotten divorced and all the nightmares associated with that. i had already had a poorer childhood, and this was something that i didnt really need. i had a very low self esteem and was devoid of confidence. i was a fat kid and my brother was very popular. i lived in his shadow. for better or worse.

the worse part was that he and his friends constantly made fun of me, put me down, and generally gave me no reason to think about having confidence in myself. it was a lost cause. the for better part is that my home being recently broken i had a lack of role models. i guess i had that lack before the broken home.

so my brother, with all his faults, taught me the ropes of life. he taught me things like how to shave, how to tight roll my pants, how to party, and how to drive. i dont know where he learned these things. i love my father and mother, but i dont think they taught me these things so i dont have any reason to believe they taught him. to me he just knew, and that was that.

so, back to being 14 years old. we lived a fair distance from the school we went to, and for the most part i took the bus. my brother, 2 years older, could drive, had a license and a car. a 1988 dodge diplomat with an 8 track player if i recall correctly. the car was a beast. i remember things like riding home with him and his friends and driving as fast as the car could through streets shielded by cornfields, i remember him driving a cyclist off the road, and other stupid things you do when you are in a big old car and barely know how to drive.

so, rightfully, i was terrified of driving. i had no confidence in myself and my constant recent experience is crazy driving. when, driving home from school one day my brother pulled over and announced that i would have to drive the rest of the way i naturally declined. a probably started crying. he insisted that we wouldnt move unless it was with me behind the wheel and eventually i gave in.

i thought about walking home and maybe threatened it, but with my sense of direction at the time i would probably be lost in the cornfields in minutes and never be seen again. so, behind the wheel i got. i dont remember if other people were in the car, but there probably were others. after catching the basics, i had to do something. with my foot firmly on the brake i shifted to drive. ever so slowly i released the pressure on the brake.

and we were off. we were cruising! well, actually idling, but whatever. i was driving. then disaster struck, another car was advancing from the front. terrified, and not knowing what to do i slammed on the brake and waiting for the car to pass lest i ram into it at an idle. after the danger subsided we were off again. i think this time i even pushed a bit on the gas pedal.

but, again, disaster. only this time from the rear. i could just stop any longer, so i panicked. i pulled over to the side of the road and parked, the car passed. and at a stop i gave up. i wouldnt drive another inch. i believe we made it about 100 feet in that first driving experience, but that is all i remember of learning how to drive. after that i guess i could just do it.

so, that was long winded. let me keep going. we were starting with my first ticket. and, like my first accident, i didnt really even get a ticket. i just got pulled over, theres a story.

sometime between 13 and 15 life for me changed dramatically. in the divorce my brother, sister and i all stayed living with my dad in the house that we grew up in. statistically that is an anomaly. usually the wife gets the house and the kids. because of that i have since had a stronger relationship with my dad than my mom. but the twists keep coming. my dad met a lady on the job and about a month later they were married. crazy, i know. but, the gods shined down brightly and they are still together, happily married as far as i can tell.

with that marriage, we also moved out of the house we grew up in, into the house of my dads new wife. another strange thing statistically. i was very unhappy about it at the time, but eventually i came to see the light and the opportunity in this. i think after living at the new house for only a couple of months my brother, now 17, moved out on his own. i got a huge upstairs bedroom all to myself where i could sulk my life away.

again, i dont know how i actually ended up learning how to drive, but by this time i was a confident driver. i just wasnt old enough to drive yet. so, i did what any angsty kid being moved around and having a number of life eruptions in a short amount time would do. i stole my stepmoms car. repeatedly.

almost every night i would sneak (i considered it sneaky, looking back there is no way they couldnt have known) out of the house. there was a computer in the basement of the house and i would just be sitting on it at night, waiting for everyone else to fall asleep, then i would walk upstairs and fish my stepmoms keys from her purse, then go back to the basement to wait a little while longer. after i was convinced nothing was amiss, i would open the basement door and go outside. then i would use the garage door opener to open the garage and wait.

these periods of waiting were me waiting to be caught. giving anyone that might be paying attention a chance to say "AHA!" but no one ever did. so, i started the car and backed out. by now it was generally after midnight, and being 15 i had nowhere to go, so i just drove around. i learned the streets around my house and each night would venture further and further. eventually i was driving from my new house back to my old house and points in between. most usually i would simply go to crown point indiana and drive around the square for a bit.

now, as i have said, i was 15, so i had no license, and i had a state assigned curfew. i was breaking the law, and i didnt give a shit. i reveled in it. part of my new identity was to be a bit of a bad boy, to be unique and do things to set myself apart from the crowds around me. i felt i was doing a good job.

this went on for awhile. i had a great routine down and would literally do this 3-4 nights a week. it was just part of my schedule. i was slowly building confidence. but eventually i had to burst, the bubble had to break.

i was driving towards crown point one night and feeling just as fine as any other time. no real thing to do, but for some reason i was very happy. i was driving down main street, just near the city tank, and then all of a sudden i got a real bad feeling. got some reason i knew that i had to turn around and go back home, something bad was going to happen. the street being empty i whipped a u-turn and headed the other way. then i saw from behind me something i had never imagined. flashing red and blue lights.

i want to say that i panicked, but i didnt. not at all. maybe on the inside, but no outward show of panic. i pulled to the side of the road and parked. i ran through my head the options i had, but i was certain that my dad would be called and my joyrides would be discovered and forever ended. i waited for a few moments while the cop ran my license plate, then i saw him get out of the car and walk up to me, maglight and all. it was the real thing.

the officer asked me for my license and registration. license and registration. what? do i even know what a registration is? i fiddled around in the glove compartment and handed him a mess of things. from them he fished out the registration, perused it and handed it back. then he repeated: license.

i explained to the officer that i had forgotten my license at home. i told him that i had recently gotten my license and my parents had bought me a new wallet to put my license in. i went on to tell him that i had just realized that i didnt have it so i panicked a bit and pulled a u-turn to head back to the house and retrieve it. i told this story as if it were the truest thing ever.

and the officer looked at me, put his arm on the door and told me that i should head straight home and get my license. that i should never leave home without it again. however, he said that he couldnt let me walk away thinking i had beaten the law. so he took my name and address and wrote me a warning. after accepting it, he walked off and i drove away. i went straight home and parked the car. i closed the garage and went in the basement. i sat back in front of the computer like i had never left. i looked at the ticket and thought about how lucky i was.

i dont recall taking that car again until after i had my license. that close call was enough. my very first ticket. so far on this trip, i have also gotten one ticket...thats actually what prompted this. i got a parking ticket in ocean beach san diego, because i failed to move my truck for the street sweepers that come down the block twice a week. the ticket was for $40. i debated about not paying it, but ended up paying online before i left.

so, now that we are through that story. lets talk about my first accident. because, yes, i have been in an accident on this trip already. something that i had forgotten about after it happened, but then remembered and decided to tie it all in with my ticket and other things.

and, again, like my first ticket, my first accident isnt really me getting into one, but being involved in one. so, i guess i am 16 now. i am almost like a real person, i have a drivers license but no car. i am at a new school and am starting to make real friends. some of the people include: shannon jones, alex labounty, and some girl named laura. i wish i could remember her last name, because i still carry around an artifact from her wherever i go.

actually wherever i have been since i was 16, i have taken this artifact with. dallas, new york, cross country to pal, desert, indiana, olympia, san francisco, down the coast to santa barbara, back to indiana, portland. i think when i was traveling and being an activist i left it in portland, but it is with me again. it is a little brown box that has a slide out lid, the top of the lid says "relic." i call it my relic box and keep various relics from my past in there. as well as my nail clippers and up until recently my large sewing needle. it is really all purpose.

when she gave it to me, we were in her house, probably high, and i was desperately trying to make out with her. i had no clue how to, having never made out with anyone prior. i am sure that i employed the rough play hoping that our bodies would fall into a perfect place so that there would be no choice other than to lock lips and engage in a furious session of making out. but that never happened. we probably just talked for awhile, sitting on her bed, me being awkward trying to plan my next move, and not getting anywhere with it.

i am sure she could tell that i wanted something from her, so she rustled around a bit on her dresser, grabbed this box, emptied it out and gave it to me. she said it was a relic of her, something so that i would never forget her. and she was right, it is something that allows me never to forget her. i still remember exactly where she lived in griffith indiana, and when i was younger and visiting i would drive by there and think about seeing where she was. i remember that, but i cannot remember her last name.

so, she had a car, and she drove. she would pick me up for school sometimes. i had a huge crush on her. i think she was a little bit older, she was about 5' 7" she had her striking red hair cut into a bob and he was a little hippie chick. just what i wanted at the time. i fancied myself a little hippie boy, but was consciously transitioning out of that into something more in the current time, something that was more alive and i could be a part of, and something that made me more unique and mysterious. my favorite band at the time was half japanese. and i am rambling.

so, for whatever reason, we were driving together down main street towards columbia avenue. i dont know why we were going in that direction, where we were heading, or anything more about the day. we were having a conversation about something, not paying the closest attention to the road, but certainly knowing the color of the lights. we were headed northbound on main street and turning left onto columbia when all of a sudden i see a car headed eastbound on columbia driving through the stoplight and right into us.

without thinking i unbuckled my seatbelt and leapt across the seats to cover laura. the car was coming to hit her directly, right in the driver side door, and while i am sure that my act of selflessness didnt do much to prevent damage to her body, it was instinct. something that i got from growing up, that it was my duty to protect the people i loved.

when all came to my body was draped across hers, the driver side door was smashed in and all traffic around us was stopped. sirens were in the distance, and we were both conscious. things seemed like they would be alright. the car itself was totaled. the oncoming car had hit us just in front of the driver side door, mostly getting the engine and hood area. we were removed from the car and questioned. i remember laura being a wreck. she thought it was her fault and was apologizing profusely. i was calm and just amazed at being in my first accident ever.

the cars were towed away, people came to get us and we parted ways. i had assumed that this type of incident would be the thing to bring people closer together, but for whatever reason it drove a wedge between us, polarized our relationship and nothing was the same again. maybe she felt how much i cared for her and wasnt prepared for that, or didnt feel the same way and instead of letting me down, just let me off. i was devastated for awhile. i remember telling my brother about it and him threatening her, telling her that she cannot treat me this way, just sticking up for me overall.

it was a bit over the top, but he was my brother and he was looking out for me. that relic box that i carry with me reminds me of so many things, it reminds me of laura, my first car accident, and how much my brother cares about me. regardless of anything that he had put me through in the past or anything that would happen in the future, i knew that he loved me and was looking out for me. and it is something that i try never to forget. a relic that keep with me, that goes wherever i go, and is also close at hand.

after that, i am afraid that my first accident on this trip is a bit of a letdown. thats probably why i forgot about it so quickly. it occurred almost a month ago when i was visiting the zombie town of fort ord. after walking around through there i got spooked pretty good and found myself running from the interior back toward the exit. i got into my truck very quickly, heart pounding and kicked the truck into reverse. i was driving backwards along the fence and i thought i saw something, a face, a body, something, in one of the broken out windows and i swerved.

i swerved right into the zombie fence and knocked it over. i stopped and cursed for a bit. looked around to see no one in sight, pulled back out onto the road and got my truck straightened out. i got out and inspected for damage to my truck. i was satisfied that there wasnt any and drove away.

hopefully i dont get into any accident more serious on these travels.

the grand canyon.

my initial view

i have never been here before. when i think about the grand canyon, i think about a very structured canyon about a mile across and a mile deep that you look over and see the colorado river running along. in my mind you can watch as people raft down the river and you can easily see across to the other side, it is very orderly and well maintained.

that isnt the reality. and i always knew that, but having never laid my own eyes on this 6 million year old natural wonder, i allowed myself to get away with the flaw.

i left flag around 10am, after going to the post office and retrieving a piece of mail sent general delivery by my good friend steve, some of you may know him. i

dwarfed

checked my email and breakfasted, then hit it. the grand canyon is only about 80 miles from flag so it wasnt that big of a jump, but it felt good to get on the road again. to be moving and seeing new things.

so, a little over an hour after leaving i start getting real close to the canyon, i assume that i can see the gap in the world as i am driving up, even at twenty miles away. even though this thought betrays how i had always thought about it. anyway, the signs start saying 20 miles, 10 miles, 5 miles, and around 5 miles i am excited. i see a ranger station, the road opens up into 6 lanes and i pull up to pay.

$25! for a seven day pass, mind you, but still. it seems expensive. i paid and started driving in. i figured that everything would just be right in front of me

canyon

once i got in, but i kept driving and then traffic got a bit heavier and off to my right i could see it. and i could immediately tell that it wasnt how i had always pictured it. it was much different.

it my excitement i just parked as soon as i could, packed my water and some other drinks, my binoculars and camera and was off. there is a trail called the "rim trail" that, you guessed it, follows pretty close to the rim for about 9 miles from mathers point where i had parked. too bad they dont have a trail that follows the rim for the entire 277 miles the canyon stretches.

i had looked at a map online and figured that i could just start heading west along the trail. part of the $25 entrance fee includes a free shuttle service that stops

i want to take that road

a number of times along the trail and will take you back to where you parked, so i figured i could go til i was tired and hop the bus.

first, let me explain the view. the canyon stretches 10 miles from the north rim to the south rim, i am at the south rim. having been etched out slowly over time, the canyon has very clear ridges that cascade down towards sea level and the coloardo river. a descent of about 7000 feet. the cascades are clearly defined by their colors and you can clearly make out shelves of rock that are layered like pancakes.

i walked along the trail for a bit until i saw some people moving away from the trail out towards some of the ledges. technically you arent supposed to leave the

an outcropping i conquered

paved trail, but a number of folks were headed out towards the outcropping and i wanted to as well. the path didnt look particularly treacherous and i have a decent sense of adventure.

let me note, real quick, my attire. i had on a black t-shirt, loose black shorts, and open toe sandals. not the best hiking attire. i also carried a shoulder bag.

so, down i went. there was a bunch of loose gravel and some shorter sheer cliffs that i had to traverse. i left my bag toward the top of the path and went out to the point. it was great. i saw one a little further on and decided to go to that one. after snatching my bag, i noticed that there was a little beaten path that was off from the paved path and was closer to the rim, no ledges, and easier access to the outcroppings.

canyon flowers

so i took that path instead. i was the only person on it. and i did some crazy things. something that i have always wanted to do is go to the rock climbing gym and climb rocks. it seems like fun. and today i got a crash course in rock climbing that probably wasnt the smartest. considering that there was about a 7000 foot drop on one side and i was by myself with no safety equipment and no one even knew i was there.

i went with it though. and it was a blast. i think i nearly fell once, and i got pretty scratched up but i was way out further than most people could even fathom. after awhile i noticed that not only going out i was heading down as well...and i didnt want to go down. this is where my crash course in rock climbing started. i made it back up, but i was pretty scared and went on the paved path for awhile.

then i saw some more and just went for them. and this went on and on. i have pictures, a lot of them. i will post them soon. after what felt like a real long

my rock wall

time, in reality only about three hours, i had only gone about three miles. and i was beat! my ankles were sore, i was bleeding and dusty/dirty and i just wanted to start chilling out.

so i hopped the bus back toward my car. that was an adventure. if you have ever been on the number 4 bus in portland during rush hour add about thirty people and you had the bus i was on here. on a monday. i came here on the weekdays specifically to avoid the crowds. i guess they cant be avoided. along the way we passed the only showers on the campground, the driver made sure to point them out.

and with that i knew what i was doing. i hadnt showered since my first day in tucson...about two weeks ago. i felt real dirty and wanted nothing more than that shower. i got my truck and went for it. it was glorious. as glorious as an 8 minute low pressure shower can be, but i reveled in it.

and then i drove around the park, looking for a good place to park and sleep for the night. something that the park is very against. i found a good place and then came

and more canyon

back to where i stopped hiking to watch the sunset and finish my book. then i walked into this lodge, found some wireless internet and started typing.

and now i am tired. i feel like i had a lot more ready in my head to type, about the caves i saw and some other interesting facts i learned, my plans for the future. but i just got this wave of exhaustion and it is dark out, so i am going to sleep. tomorrow promises more hiking and exploration, and pictures! (if this link doesnt work, let me know...)

cycling the night away

yesterday as a whole proved to be fun. i was hoping that i would be able to top it off with some kind of after hours, well party. i just wanted to go to a house party and drink beer, mingle a bit and enjoy myself in a private place larger than my truck. unfortunately, to accomplish something like that i would have to also talk to people and make "friends."

i wasnt prepared to do that, so instead i just walked around the square a couple times, drinking my vodka and cranberry juice, and enjoyed the sounds of people having fun all around me. i was proceeding to drunk rapidly, because i had been drinking my concoction at a rapid rate.

after doing my laps and shying away form human contact, i had decided to call it a night. as i walked back to where my truck was parked i spotted some salvation. i had seen it earlier, paid it a glance and then kept walking, a bicycle. not quite a real bike, not quite a tall bike, and not quite a mini bike. a regular frame with tall handlebars and small tires, i went up to it and accosted it.

my bike for the night

it was mine. it was pretty uncomfortable in the seat, it was BMX style where you back pedal to brake. i rode it a couple of times around the block, eliciting cat calls and praise for the bike, i felt triumphant. but i was quickly growing bored with the downtown square. so i branched out.

i went across the railroad tracks down by the hostels and the strip club, nothing going on. i rode down by the pride festival and watched the last song of the last act. then i rode back to the square and around the bars and such. shortly, i took the challenge and rode this awkward bike up the big hill that separates the downtown from the neighborhoods.

i made it pretty easily but i was huffing and puffing once at the top. then i rode around up there for a bit, there was also nothing happening there and absolutely no people, so i rode back towards the square.

more passes and eventually i was done with it. i went and put it back where i had found it. it was less than a block from where i was parked. i got back to the truck and was unhappy. i wanted to find something to do, so i went back and took the bike for a few more passes, trying to build up courage to ask someone where the party was. but then.

then the police rolled up behind me and steered toward the side of the road. the cop then rolled up next to me and proceeded to inform me that i needed to procure a front headlight and follow all traffic laws. things that i already knew, but i played dumb. i told him that i was going to put the bike back where i found it and go home.

and with that, i did. this morning, i came back to where i left the bike and it was still there. so, of course, i got back on it and started riding it. i made it half a block and my ass was in such pain from the awkwardness of the seat, and i was done with it. so i dropped it somewhere else and deemed my days of cycling on that steed over.

it still hasnt moved from where i have now left it. which i find pretty amazing, an unchained bike just sitting there, why wouldnt someone else take it for a spin, at least?