I Live in a Pick-Up Truck

This was a nine month journey of self discovery. I left Portland in May 2009 and returned in February 2010. I used this travel as a tool to regain self-confidence and a good perspective on the world. It worked.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

the vale of the venomous vixen

it is ridiculous how good of a time i have been having in cheyenne. seriously, cheyenne shouldnt be this great of a place.

i took a free horse drawn carriage ride through the heart of downtown cheyenne today, how fucking sweet? i do not believe i have ever been drawn by horses. cheyenne did it to me. while i was on the carriage ride i learned a whole bunch from the drive-man about the history of cheyenne. something i think i mentioned but will repeat is that cheyenne is currently a city of 50,000 people. that isnt very many. that is barely a suburb.

the reason why cheyenne is such a hub with so few people dates back to the old west and the cattle barons. many cattle barons settled in cheyenne and used the rest of the state to raise cattle to be shipped around the country as starters for others herds or for beef. in the 1800's cheyenne boasted more millionaires per capita than any other place in the united states.

that doesnt really matter to me now, but because of that then cheyenne garnered a reputation. nice buildings were being built, a beautiful state capitol building and many other things. hotels were fashioned with electric lighting and indoor plumbing, unprecedented for a city so small at the time, but the dollars demanded it. amazingly there are a number of old buildings still intact here, including the first brick building ever built. still standing. amazing.

the carriage lasted about a half hour and was very informative. i was with a number of ladies wearing purple. we have all seen these ladies and i wanted to ask them why they wear purple. i could look it up very easily right now, but i would rather just ask one of these women when i have the chance.

high noon gun fight
after the carriage i went to the train depot. union pacific made its home in cheyenne wyoming at one point, i do not recall if it is still today. but they have a large rail museum and a lot of focus on the rail industry. i dont think anything up here would have ever been on the map without the rails.

when i got done with that it was high noon and i went to watch the gunfight. high noon in cheyenne right now is super hot. i was wearing my sandals and the gunslingers talked for about 40 minutes before they started their re-enactment. they cautioned kids against using guns, alerted adults to the dangers of guns, asked every group of people where they were from and then introduced each of the gunslingers. it was tedious and i wanted to leave. but i stayed to watch the beginning of the gunfight.

it drew out for awhile, and i couldnt take it. it was hard to hear them and the action was kind of pitiful. also the heat was becoming unbearable. i have been sunburnt since sacramento (sunburnt since sacramento is a good song title or book name) and today didnt help at all. my feet and my face doubled over and i am beet red again. after leaving the gunfight i found the solace of shade and rested for a few moments consulting the cheyenne visitors guide finding the things that i knew where there but had forgotten about.

a beautiful pink flower
one of those things was the botanic gardens, another free attraction. it appeared that they were situated in a large park, called lions park in the north end of town, so i decided to head up that way. what do i find when i get there? a bunch of stuff! there was a large gathering with tents and air filled playthings for kids, it looked interesting so i walked toward it. it was just ending but it appeared to be a college/army recruitment picnic. there were a bunch of tables for christian colleges and the military, and there was a beer garden, however all of the kegs were tapped by the time i arrived. i wouldve loved to have had some beers on the federal government.

around this time i got a second or third wave of loving cheyenne wyoming. there was just so much stuff happening, everywhere i went was something for free that i could peruse and explore and enjoy. it was great. i walked through the park more and there was a large lake with a swimming area and rentals for kayaks and paddle boats. i debated renting a kayak for $4/half hour, but decided against it.

then i made it to the botanic garden. it wasnt very exciting, but it was free. it was more like a home garden than a botanic garden. i dug up a carrot and ate it. it was by far the worst of the botanic gardens that i have visited, it is a strike against the idea of moving to cheyenne wyoming. because they only had figs and pineapple guava growing in there, not a whole lot of fruit.

done there, i walked over the the indian village, but nothing was happening. then i walked the parking lot of the rodeo, but again, nothing going on, so i headed back downtown.

i think this is when i went to the liquor store, i am not sure of that because as i write this, i am drunk. or as my friend steve would say, crunk. at the liquor store i bee lined for a 12 pack of pbr. becasue, if i drink one right away the rest will fit in my cooler. but then i stopped for a minute. and i started looking at the liquor. my figure isnt getting better with age and the more beer drinking i do, the bigger my belly will grow. i felt that i needed to start liking liquor. at the gunfight they were drinking whiskey.

see the whiskey? and the pbr? a punk rock cowboy!
i want to be a cowboy, and cowboys drink whiskey, so i bought a pint of jack daniels. when i left the liquor store, i laughed aloud for a long time. what the hell was i thinking? i dont like whiskey, or any "sipping" liquor. what was i trying to do. i got back to my truck and packed away my goods and did some other arranging, then i put a few beers in my bag and rustled up my computer and went to sit at the hotel for awhile.

i found a nice niche on the mezzanine (where i am right now), the clerks cannot see me and i can get wireless and drink freely. its great. i sat and grazed the internet, drinking three beers and then went out for dinner. it was expensive, but so what. money isnt something that i should define myself by.

then i came back to the truck and put some music on my ipod. i sat on my bumper, listening to music and sewing my cell phone holster which i had ripped the day before trying to sneak into an abandoned building. i wasnt happy about it. i didnt make it in and i bruised my case. not worth mentioning further. i listened to atmosphere, the rats, and dead moon. i drank a few beers and cracked open my whiskey. it wasnt very good and i cannot imagine myself getting used to it. but i couldnt ever imagine myself having a great time in cheyenne wyoming, either. no expectations. one day perhaps i will love whiskey like i love olives.

then it was 6:45 and i had a date. at some point in the day i stopped into the atlas theatre, the only live performance theatre in cheyenne and a very old theatre to boot. i talked with the proprietor about the show: the vale of the venomous vixen. it opened the night before and i had talked with some of the players. i was intrigued and decided i would stay to see it. i got the student price, $12. and retrospectively, it may be the best $12 i have ever spent.

the mc and card girl.
the play is an annual melodrama that the theatre puts on, and for a number of years it has been written by some local yokels. but they have done an amazing job. i am getting ahead of myself here. this year is the 53rd year of the "old time melodrama" and i couldnt have asked for more. i am very much into vaudeville, old timey things, and good things. this was all of them.

i packed three beers in my bag and walked to the theatre. i was disappointed becasue i walked right in and went into the bathroom, then up the stairs to the balcony. had i known it would have been so easy, i couldve saved $12. i sat down and waited for about 15 minutes until the lights went down and the mc came onto the stage, while people were clapping i opened my first beer.

the mc and the "card girl" were funny. the card girl changed the cards that say "act one" "act two" "female vocalist" etc. they worked together well and i laughed heartily. they started the evening with a sing-a-long to "oh susanna" and "home on the range". i dont think i can explain it with due justice, so if you are reading this just laugh out load for about thirty seconds. then you are getting close. the first act set everything up, it wasnt very good but it was pretty good. after the act were the first olio's.

never heard the word olio? me neither. they are just like vaudeville acts between the acts of the play and they were great. i took some videos, but wasnt smart enough to get all of them. right now i wish i wrote better and remembered better. i would like to lay out the play in words for you right now, but really, i cannot do that. you have to come to cheyenne wyoming and see it yourself. just like the transfused. one of the olio's was a person i had talked to the night before, and he sang a hilarious song, which i sang along loud with enjoyed beyond the description of words. the chorus was "o why did i ever leave wyo-ming" we went through a few verses about it was wonderful.

so we had some olio's some can can dancers and the play itself. which dealt with real world issues in a hilarious way and didnt end up the way you would expect at all. the hero and heroine did not end up together. it was great, i love stories like that.

i drank three beers, sang along, yelled, hissed, booed, cheered, and enjoyed myself immensely. i would recommend this experience to anyone within a hundred mile radius. and beyond, really.

and now, i am back at the hotel, wishing that i could forever be int he state of bliss that contained me in at the theatre, wishing that i could always be in cheyenne. how wierd. i gotta leave tomorrow.

cheyenne, wyoming: the end.

i am not leaving yet, i am going to a play tonight. but, last night when i posted my piece, i knew i shouldve waited. i shouldve waited for the pictures and for the night to end, because when i left here my night got started. upon leaving the hotel, i heard some wonderful irish music coming from "friday in the plaza."

the elders
the band was called "the elders" and they were infectious. i was disappointed, because while i was inside enjoying the cool, outside was this wonderful band, and for some reason drinking in public is okay at friday in the plaza, so i found a store and bought a beer. which was odd, because when i left i left becasue i was tired and hungry, but as soon as i got outside i was alive and drinking. i wasnt even thinking about food any longer.

i went through the crowd and only got to hear three songs before the night was called to an end. it was still very light outside, but it was scheduled to end at 8:30pm and it was already 8:15. so, i finished my beer, thought about getting another, but instead walked on some more.

i found an old building, the historic hynds building, that i really wanted to get into. it was all boarded up on front and an empty lot where a building had been torn down on the side. i tried climbing the gutter to the fire escape but got caught by the proprietor of the business next door. he informed me that the building has been vacant for 22 years. i told him i wanted to get inside and he just walked away.

for only $2.00/bag! you choose!
i walked away too. shortly thereafter i saw a sign announcing that i had also missed the gunfight in the streets that happens at 6pm monday-friday. then i saw some girls running in very elaborate dress. they looked like costumes, and even if they werent, i wanted to be where they were going. so i followed them and i was right across from where the liquor store i patroned earlier. they were part of a show "the venemous vixen" and apparently it was opening night. i talked to them a bit and then to some of the other players that were in the alley.

i found it hilarious. i asked them questions about the show and where the after party was. i decided i would go back and catch the show tonight, it is only $16 and the only live theater in cheyenne. i was feeling pretty good then, but i remembered that i was hungry and set off looking for a spot to dine. i didnt want anything fancy but couldnt really find a place, i was just walking aimlessly.

eventually it got dark and i found some chinese food and went back to my truck to find a place to park.

Friday, July 10, 2009

cheyenne, wyoming

i have been to this state before. also, i never even knew this state existed. becasue, really, what the hell is in wyoming? i got myself pumped up about the idea of coming here while i was still in denver, i started looking for my next move and saw that cheyenne was near and since i had never been there and it would be another state line to cross, i marked my course and did some research. and then, i got excited.

there was just a whole bunch of free things offered up and if i was enraptured i could experience the 113th annual "frontier days" festival. that starts on july 17 and i have no intention of staying here that long.

i got up early-ish and in my truck, it was the first time in awhile and i had forgotten about the process of selecting a spot to sleep and then sleeping and getting up there. but i got up and wanted to find a place to sit and have some breakfast. i drove out to highway 85 with the intention of going slow and looking for a place then hitting the road. well, before i knew it i was cruising at 75mph and there is nothing around me but cornfields.

something i never knew about denver and the colorado towns is that they are mostly on the edge of the mountain range, i had always imagined then nestled in the middle of the rocky mountains. the effect is that if you are facing north and look east you see plains as far as the eye can see and about 1000 miles further. if you look west peaks climbing 3 miles into the air are smiling down on you. it is really amazing. and now i am pretty sure i am done with the mountains for a fair bit.

my drive was cornfields, flatness, some windmills, but mostly grass land. it was striking how few trees there were, i wondered if there were ever trees here and decided that there probably werent. my reason being that here on the east side of the mountain the weather patterns wouldnt give much rainfall. i havent checked it out to see if i am right, becasue i dont really care either way.

i was amazed at how close cheyenne was. only 50 miles away and i was driving headlong toward it. there was no stopping the momentum, there was nothing around, every 15-20 miles i would come up a tiny town where i had to slow to 40mph, but i was in cheyenne by 9am. and i wasnt quite in awe.

the capitol building
the city is tiny, only 50,000 people. i think the tallest building is the capitol building which reaches a mere 146' into the sky. the city didnt seem very alive, and i was still itching for breakfast, i found a place and got down. after eating i picked up the drive again, but only for two blocks. because then i came upon the capitol building.

i parked outside of it and took off pieces from my batbelt, capitol buildings always have metal detectors and it is just a hassle. that done i made my way to the door. the first thing i came upon was a bronze statue of a woman. this state was a geyser of womens rights back in the day. well, kind of. the territory of wyoming wanted to become a state, so territorial leaders gathered in 1869 or so and discussed ways to become a state and start a charter for a constitution. one woman showed up as a territorial leader and it was unprecedented. at the time no western country had allowed women the right to vote, and the men asked her why she should be allowed in this club.

the plaque
she offered that if women were allowed the right to vote and own land and sign legal documents and such it would help bring women to the territory. that appeased the men at the gathering, one of the requirements that wyoming was lacking in its quest for statehood was population. also, there was only 1 women for every 8 men in the territory at the time. so, when wyoming drafted its constitution and assumed statehood it was the first government to allow women the right to vote. the federal government wouldnt relinquish this right until 1920. over 50 years since the wyoming charter.

i walked into the capitol building and what? nothing. there were no metal detectors, no guards, nothing. the first thing i saw was the governors office with the door open just to my right. then i saw a state police desk with an officer clicking around on a computer. then to the left was the info desk, but no one was there. i signed into the register and took a map and started walking around. eventually i came upon a tour in progress, but it was at the end of it. i really enjoyed the lady who was giving the tour. she kept trying to get people to move to wyoming.

some of the reasons she gave: the winters arent that bad, sometimes all the streets out of town will be blocked by snow by the city itself will still function, you just cant get in or out; there is no income tax and the property taxes are very low; the mosquitoes are small, and there arent very many bugs in general; she gave others, and there were more hilarious ones, but thats all i remember right now. i decided i would go back when the next tour started and see the beginning.

swamp is to coal mine as
then i left and had two hours to explore. just around the corner was the wyoming state museum, also free, so i took the chance. just outside was a large cowboy boot. these appear randomly throughout the town, they are interesting. inside was a desk and some information, i took a tour book and guided myself. there was a bunch of blah blah blah history on the first floor, similar to what i saw at colorado museums, because these are basically the same place. there were some nice diorama's and one in particular was an ancient swamp next to a modern day coal mine, that was interesting.

then i went upstairs and it was much better. there was a new display of western furniture created by someone who loved to used burls or tree knots in his designs. i watched a short film on his life, then i moved on. there was an old outhouse at one point. i opened the door and there was a cat on it. i laughed very loud for a quiet museum and chuckled to myself for a few moments. then i turned around. there was a tv with old home movies from the 1920s to 1950s of a family exploring wyoming. it was hilarious and started laughing aloud again.

i walked around the museum more, there were some displays on japanese people that lived here during ww2, because one of the concentration camps for japanese people was in wyoming. there were some dolls, some native artifacts, and the rest was a blur. i finished in there and walked around outside for a bit. eventually i got tired and had to move my truck. i looked for some wireless, and found it at the capitol building. i still had a half hour before the next tour so i went in with my computer and tried to connect, but it wouldnt let me. i did some typing and then put my computer away and started the next tour.

the lady was still hilarious. she was 80 years old (she told us) about 5'1" and loved to talk. she was full of history. she did such a good job explaining things and interacting with the people on the tour. but her long windedness did get to be too much at times. we explored and learned more history about the capitol. she talked at length about some of the early congressional sessions in the state. apparently when wyoming was founded it was a strong democrat state, but by the 13th congress was split in half. democrats and republicans, she said that neither side would budge on any issues and eventually one of the democrats tried to change his party affiliation and a brawl broke out.

speaker of the house!
one of the republican members took a portrait off the wall and smashed it on a democrat. that was eventually rehung, but the hole where the head went through wasnt fixed, it became part of the history of the capitol as she liked to put it. she said after that congress adjourned and didnt come back into session.

shortly after that i left the tour and went out exploring more. i just started walking the city, going to some shops and exploring. kind of looking for the post office but not finding it. i stopped in a flea market and bought some beads. i stopped in a bar and tried to get a drink but the tender wouldnt acknowledge me so i left after sitting like an idiot for about five minutes at the bar. then i found this neat old hotel.

one of the things i like to do is explore hotels, try to find my way around things, and act like i belong there. i spend a good while trying to get on the roof but to no avail. eventually i left to move my truck, but i just got my computer and came back to this hotel, where i have been typing furiously for the better part of an hour. listening to a very skilled pianist play, charging my computer and enjoying being in from the heat. also, i have pictures but cant upload them right now. sorry.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

higher than i have ever been before

goodbye denver. thank you for the wonderful time, adam and love thank you for having me in your home for a few days and enjoying our time together. after being in homes for the last two weeks or so, i am looking forward to being in my truck again. with homes i get too comfortable, i drink too much, i think i eat less, and in general i use the internet too much.

i drove west on colfax ave (business 70 highway 40) until i met back up with the expressway. for the fourth time, i jumped on the expressway and took it for about a half hour. i was tired of driving on the city streets, there was too much traffic and i didnt think that i would get much out of it because i 40 met up with 70 eventually anyway. so i took it until 40 split off again and started climbing.

up and up i went, through small mountain towns and beautiful forest. i was on my way to the rocky mountain national park. i decided to drive west and hit the park from the south and drive east through it. i think i made the proper decision. there wasnt much happening on the drive up to the park and i only stopped to fill up my gas tank. i was enjoying the wind whipping through my windows and the countryside sliding out the corner of my eye. i think there will be more on the east side and i will want to stop more often.

view from the top
i got to the park, flashed my annual pass and started the long drive to the visitors center. it was 20 miles of switchbacks and winding mountain roads before i got to the rocky mountain tundra, elevation 11, 796'. by far the highest i have been and finally above the tree line, into the tundra and hard pack snow that may not melt at all this season. thats how glaciers are formed. hard pack snow not melting in he summer and then being packed tighter and deeper over the seasons. eventually the mass becomes so heavy and dense that it starts sliding down the mountain at a slow pace, carving canyons as it goes.

right now i am sitting at the visitors center, but it isnt that great. it is packed up here and there is a small gift shop and store, and then the small visitors center. i was hoping for something like the grand canyon, it may be hard for me to find a place to steal away the night. for now, i will explore and maybe drive further east through the park.

well, this day turned out not to be a great day. i had high hopes, as you may have read from my noon time missive.

hey, i was there!
after i got done typing that up, i went and did a short hike up to the peak of whatever mountain i was on to a total height of 12,005' or 2.3 miles above sea level. there were a bunch of elk up there and it was pretty nice, except for all of the people fighting and yelling, running into the protected tundra area, crying, etc. that made it annoying. i was going to sit up there and finish reading my book, but i didnt feel like i could concentrate as well as i needed to. so i went back down and after milling about a bit, i decided to drive further through the park.

i had consulted the map prior and was pretty sure that there wouldnt be another thing until i was out of the park. and really, i was unhappy at the park being not very good. it costs $20 to get in if you dont have the pass but there isnt really anything to do. you can drive to the top of the mountain and then back down, there are trailheads but what fun is it to hike down a mountain? i drove and went very fast. i coasted the 21 miles back down to the east side town. i had driven about 100 miles over 4 or more hours and was about a half hour north of denver.

i was tired and not very happy. i had worked out a plan to be in the mountains for a couple days, thinking it would be like the grand canyon, but here i was just a bit north of denver and still plenty of light. i decided to drive to greeley colorado, which is only about an hour north of denver, but it crosses the highway i want to take north to cheyenne tomorrow. also, i feel like i had more things to say but now i have forgotten them.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

no expectations, no explanations

hanging out in boulder
that is something i want to get tattooed on my body at some point, somewhere. i havent thought it out quite thoroughly yet, but it certainly isnt knuckles. maybe down the back of my legs or something, in a bright color, really just some color, not black. i thought of it today while i was at the denver art museum.

i have been cruising around denver for the past few days with my friend adam and his wife love. we have been going out and doing things, and staying up late/getting up late. we went to a couple bars one night, the irish snug, the lions lair, etc. we also threw a frisbee for a short bit at a park and went to boulder to explore. i have had a good time. these are great people and i am just very happy that i know them. when we were at boulder adam gave a toast for getting to spend his time with a great wife and a great friend. that made me very happy.

today they got up very early and i was still asleep, they were going to leave me locked in the house, but i woke up real quick and threw on some clothes and got out. it was really the first time since i got here that i have been able to go off exploring on my own. i did do the art walk before i knew they were here, and i did do the miniature museum by myself, but now i had a whole day.

and it felt like it had been a long time since i have had that. i went straight from being with frances to being with adam and didnt have any i-am-a-loner-on-the-road-all-alone time. but thats okay, today i got to get back in the groove right quick. so first, i went out for breakfast. it, literally, has been weeks since i had breakfast. thats because i have spent the last two weeks with late nighters and late risers. i enjoyed every last bit of the greasy spoon eggs/bacon/homefries/toast that i got. it was more than i wanted to pay, but whatever.

after that i was full and set off downtown. as i have expressed before i appreciate the architecture of capitol buildings, there is one here and it is a free tour. so i went in that direction. denver is like a galaxy. (i am going to explain why here, but please know that i am not positive that this is what a galaxy is like.) there are a few dense cores, all of the colleges share one campus, the capitol building/library/art museum/us mint/etc are all in one cluster downtown, and then there is emptiness all around. sprawl. it would be so much nicer if landmarks were more spread out it would do so much for creating creative centers all about the city. like a resurgence.

anyway, i found a place to park about a block and a half from the capitol and took it. then i walked back to the capitol up the steps and inside. now, the capitol buildings are free, but they are a hassle. i have reverted a bit to my batbelt days and carry a number of metallic items on my person, for government buildings you have to go through a metal detector to get in. so i took off all my stuff: belt buckle, led maglight, leatherman, keys, cell phone, and other randomness. then i got to put it all back on and get on with the tour.

the colorado capitol
generally it is a self guided tour, and i was okay with that. i walked in with that in mind and then saw a number of quilts hanging around me. i remember. there is a quilt show in downtown denver, clearly this is it. an info table gave me a slip to vote on my three best quilts, and a guide to the capitol. i took them and wandered the lower level looking at the quilts and the architecture, then i found a staffed info booth and a guided tour that was starting right now, so i hopped on the tail end. it was a free tour anyway and i could come and go at leisure.

some neat things i learned. all of the materials to build the capitol came from various parts of colorado and there is a register detailing where each material came from. there is a type of marble there called ruby onyx (i believe), it has only been found in one place in the world, one mine in colorado, and all of it was used in the capitol building. it was a very beautiful stone.

blah blah blah we learned more about the history of colorado, the capitol saw the legislature and such. mostly i was looking at quilts and listening to the tour guide talk about the stained glass windows that adorned the capitol. there were some interesting ones. during the civil war colorado was mostly neutral, however the confederacy plotted to invade colorado from the south and use the gold to fund the souths war effort. the state of colorado officially participated in one battle, in sante fe, and won. they have a statue commemorating that.

then i walked up to the dome. from the third floor it is another 99 steps and the stairway is narrow. once i got to the top, it was worth it. all of the windows had been removed for some reason and there was a nice breeze blowing through the atrium (i guess thats the word), but unfortunately we couldnt go out onto the balcony. i walked around up there for a bit and pleaded to climb the extra spiral stairway to the very top or at least be allowed onto the outer balcony. after repeated no's i began the long descent and was soon done at the capitol.

i left and charted a course toward my truck, the meter should be about run out by now anyway. as i walked toward it i saw that i had another ticket. i couldnt fathom why, i had fed the meter for wo hours and was only inside for an hour and a half. i got up to it and saw that i was ticketed becasue i was precisely behind the meter. i stuck in front of it a bit and was ticketed, there was still 35 minutes on the meter. however, i am no longer mad about that.

while in colorado springs i got two tickets. one for allowing the meter to expire, it was $20. i got it and was going to pay it just like the one in ocean beach. i had been working to build my credit back up and tickets were what destroyed me the first time. then the next day i got a $50 ticket for parking to close to a crosswalk. mind you, there were no signs saying that you had to leave at least 50' between the crosswalk and the first parked car, generally the curb is painted yellow or red or whatever, but not here. at that time i was angry. i wasnt about to pay a $50 ticket.

and if i wouldnt pay that one, why should i pay the $20 one. if i couldnt rebuild my credit in the last three years, while trying, what hope do i have to rebuild it now. and why should i really care. i mean i was trying to rebuild my credit because i wanted to buy a house because there was a life laid out in front of me. now that life isnt there, now that house doesnt matter, now my credit score doesnt either. so i had a bit of a fuck the world everything will end eventually and hopefully i am here for it so i can sleep easy knowing that i only gave in for a little while.

when i got the $25 ticket today, it was just mortar to the bricks already laid. instead of being unhappy about it, i took it as a free day pass to park in the city wherever i wanted for free. i decided to remain parked there, becasue i was already at a galaxy core. so i left the ticket in the windshield and walked on. i came to an odd building, it was sheer on one side and then sloped the the sidewalk at about 30 degrees on the other side. it was walkable, and i tried to walk up it, but they have some barriers to prevent it.

intrigued i walked to the front to see what building it was and if i could get at it from inside. it was the colorado history museum and i went in, i love history museums. i grilled the nice old lady behind the counter if i could proceed up the backside of the building without being arrested, and if i were foolish enough to try. she assured me that i would be arrested, but let me know that today was the free day at the museum. i accepted her offer and went on a walkabout.

what i was most surprised about in this museum is how much colorado recognized the ku klux klan as part of its history. they had a few exhibits about the klan, its propaganda and its role in shaping colorado. it also had a lot of black herstory. it was an interesting museum up top and the bottom level was even better! the first thing i was met with was a large interactive map that was 3-d and had a light show to go along with the stories of the land, i watched it for awhile and enjoyed every moment of it.

then i moved on through the other exhibits some of which i remember, but they altogether werent worth mentioning, the next one i came upon that was worth mentioning was the mining exhibit. a whole huge room was a recreated mining operation with all of the rail cars that would be employed and the tools, it wasnt interactive but you could touch the things and there were oil stains on the ground. i wanted to jump in one of the coal cars, but i didnt.

old denver as diorama
then i came upon the dioramas! and i dont know why or what it is, but i have really started to be engrossed by miniatures. it started before the miniature museum and persists. i was studying the scale models of scenes from the gold mining days, there was a model of the initial city of denver, and it was just so amazing, so much detail and care. when i look at things like that, it makes me want to care about something so much. it evokes an emotion, a feeling, that if i could just find my diorama i would be happy.

and since i used that word, happy, let me just remind myself and everyone around me: i love my life. the epiphany came to me a little later in the day, when i was at the art museum, but i said it aloud to no one and all the particles in the air, my life is amazing, i love it and wouldnt have it any other way.

moving on. after i finished with the dioramas, i was done in this museum. so i left and started walking again. in front of me was the denver art museum. i like art museums that are housed in buildings that are pieces of art in themselves. and the denver art museum certainly qualifies. it is a large building, it has a north tower that is seven stories tall and a sky bridge that connects to the south tower which is only four stories, but those four stories are housed in long spikes that shoot out randomly across the streets and into the sky. it is really an amazing building to look at.

a model of the art museum area, the actual art museum is the funky building on the left
and it was expensive to get into. clearly, i wasnt going to pay for expensive, so i was going through in my head how i would try to sneak in. when i walked in the door i stopped thinking. i just allowed my body to move and without the burden of thought i think i looked less suspicious and i was able to meander right by the ticket takers and into the art museum. when i walked in the door, i cased it quickly: to my right was the ticket counter, directly in front of me were the ticket takers, and to my left was a staircase.

there was a ticket taker talking to a man in a wheelchair with her back to the stairs. there was a sign that said tickets required beyond this point, but i tried not to look at that. i just walked to the farside of the staircase and slowly walked up them and all of a sudden i was on the second level. there was a man in a chair checking tickets to get into the special exhibit, so i quickly moved away from him and into the first gallery. i walked quickly and got across the sky bridge. i figured then i could relax i was deep enough into the facility, there was nothing more to fear.

one of the problems of sneaking into places is that i dont get a whole lot of information prior to getting in and move quickly at first and then just go with where ever i am. i was in the north tower and it was boring old art. the things that i can see for free at city museums and capitol buildings and the like, i worked my way quickly through the first two levels and decided to then take the elevator to the top and work my way down instead of up. the museum wasnt very good right now.

my epiphany would have been well had in this chair
i think it was on the 6th floor where i had the "i love my life" epiphany. i was walking through an exhibit of chairs and there were some that were very ornate and the room was all white and i just felt so out of place. and i loved it. i loved the feeling of not fitting in and having my personal secret, that all of these other people paid in some way to get in to see these chairs and i have no connection to that. i dont have to try to appreciate things because there is no tag hanging in front of my face that says i have to get $15 worth of good feelings out of this place to feel that my time and money were well spent.

without that baggage i felt more able to experience things for what they were and appreciate or not at my leisure. i worked quickly through that side of the building and was mostly disappointed becasue the art was just stale. not something that i would think to be worth $15. luckily i remembered that the other side must have something to offer, i had only walked quickly through the second floor and there must be more than what i saw and the special exhibit, i made my way back and crossed the sky bridge again. i keep mentioning it because i like sky bridges.

and, now i have plenty of confidence, whether or not ive paid i belong here, no one can question that. i walked slower and found the stairs to the other floors of the south tower...and this is what people pay for. modern art, art that makes you think, some really amazing pieces that i could just spend all day trying to understand the complexities of. and some things that may be typical now for art, but i never remembered. there was an art movie that was playing, a number of places to put on headphones to listen to music that was specified for that artwork. it was very interesting. there was one display that was an entire room with tables and chairs and things on the tables, but everything was painted bright bright red and there were dark gray foxes in various states jumping around the room. it was striking.

there was much more cool art to look at here, and i cannot get into it all, i can say that my camera batteries had died and i was unhappy because what i came upon next was a transfixing little art experiment. i wish i had been able to take a video, the pictures i got do not do it any kind of justice. i walked into a little area that had a huge painting that was very disturbing and provoking and i was just looking at it and i heard a voice behind me, i paid no mind. then i walked away and heard someone from where i had just come from say "fire, fire, fire" and i knew that there was no one in that space but me. so i went and investigated.

unfortunate, but this is the best i could do
i looked around and i found behind where i had been standing some seats, behind the seats in a little nook was a suitcase. the suitcase was open and there was a doll propped up in there. in front of the suitcase was a dvd projector and it projected perfectly a face on the little doll. the doll was now a person and she was just saying very random things and looking around. it was very creepy. i was the only one around, so i conversed with her for a little while, then walked away. i could hear her from afar and decided to go back. i wanted to see what happened at the end. i ended up listening and watching for about a half hour and never came to the end. it was probably the best art i have ever seen.

but i had to leave, i was done there for the most part. i had tried to get into the special event area but i wasnt able to pull it off. and when i got outside it was scalding and i was a little bit beat. i called up adam and made my way back toward his home. there wasnt much going on there, it was hot inside and they were just lazing about trying to stave off the heat. i didnt really want to do that. so i gathered my things and went to the bar. at least it would be air conditioned, i'd have wireless and beer! so i went back toward the irish snug. they have a good beer special and would host gypsy jazz tonight which adam and love would meet me for.

i went and typed away like mad and drank a number of beers. eventually adam called and instructed me to obtain a table for the music, i did. and it was nice music, a violin, two guitars, and an upright bass. we all sat and listened, and enjoyed the atmosphere of the place a couple of hours before we came back to play scattegories. i dont believe i have ever played the game. i enjoyed it but there was some tension in the air and we didnt get very far in the playing process.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

the high life

as i have written before, all of the cities i have been to the last month are the "mile high city" i have been at altitude for so long, i dont even notice it any longer. however, now i am in the the largest and most well known mile high city, the capital of colorado, denver. this will probably also be the last mile high city that i am in, fitting. i have driven through the denver area once before when i was younger. i will recount the story, it isnt like i have two fun filled days of living on rooftops to catch up with or anything.

what year was it, maybe 2000, i am pretty sure i was with steve hightailing our ways back to chicago from palm desert. it was my turn to drive, and we were on highway 70 just outside the city of denver. of course, we werent stopping for much and denver called upon us without a reason to stop so i drove on. i recall it being early in the morning and there could have been morning rush hour traffic, but my road weary golden earring was cruising through traffic without much care.

quickly we came upon a wall of cars that were all doing the speed limit or just under it. i was perplexed, i could see open road in front of the wall and couldnt fathom a reason that everyone was driving at pace. i weaved my way through and was faced with an "aha" moment when i saw that everyone was pacing themselves behind a colorado state trooper.

being 19, i was stupid, so i decided to not run with the pack. the decision had set me apart growing up, not falling in line, not conforming to society, and there was no reason to start now. i applied gentle pressure to the gas pedal so my speedometer read about 5 miles over the speed limit. this minuscule amount of speed didnt move me much faster than the rest of the cars, but i did start passing them and shortly passed the pace vehicle.

i am sure in auto racing there is some penalty for passing the pace car, you lose a lap or something. apparently, for passing a police officer on the highway you get pulled over. i dont know why i didnt calculate in my head the tiny benefit i would receive for a relatively huge risk. it wasnt more that a quarter mile that i got past the cop that his lights were on and i was pulled over. the morning rush hour folks nodded their heads to the brave soldier that would test the lines in the sand and allow them a clearer passage.

i just got a ticket for it, but i remember my attitude with the police officer. i was incredulous, i explained that i was only going a small amount over the speed limit and chastised him for holding the flow of traffic back. he didnt give a shit, now i dont either. i took a two lane highway to get into denver.

a parting gift that frances gave me was some direction in a large city where no one i readily knew resided. she told me that the first friday art walk would be taking place on santa fe, and at the very least i could get some free wine and crackers so i set my coordinates for sante fe. amazingly the highway that i drove in on turned into sante fe avenue, but i got in town a bit too early for the artists so i sat in a bar and composed my farewell to colorado springs.

around 8:pm i left my bar, kazmos, and walked toward the oblivion of 10th and santa fe, the beginning of the arts district. for such a large city, i find it amazing that the art district only spans between 5th and 10th on santa fe. some auxiliary streets allow for overflow but it is a tiny parcel for such a large city. my immediate goal was to find a drink. i caught a good feeling from the two drinks i had at the bar and didnt want to come down too far before i picked myself up.

so i glanced inside the first few galleries looking for crackers and cups. no such luck. i walked on. after about five galleries i decided to start going into them and better assessing the situation. a half hour and one block later i still hadnt a sniff of wine. i quickened my pace while cursing myself for starting on this side, for the other side of the street was quite jovial and i saw many people drinking openly on the street. with haste i continued. i made it all the way down to 7th before i got fed up and crossed the street. i hadnt found a drop of wine on the side i started on.

first gallery on the far side of the street had white wine. i indulged, then walked on. second gallery had white wine, i indulged and chatted with some of the artists. i can bullshit with confidence in a room full of strangers and a drink in my hand. put one person i know in the room and, for whatever reason, my confidence is cut in half. what if my bullshit is called or i allow some side of myself out that isnt what i am most proud of. i dont know all the reasons, but i was beginning to have a great time.

and it went on. the next gallery i caught a huge break. they had a keg of beer and free mixed drinks. hello! i was in heaven. it was still lightish out, about a quarter til nine and i was, by now, loving it. i cannot stress that enough, becasue it gets better. i walked around this gallery, downed my beer and filled up again. then i walked out and into the next room, it was a blown glass studio, and off that was a rooftop patio. it seemed that the real party was out there and i love rooftops. so i walked out there and enjoyed it.

the rooftops of denver
there was a ladder that led to a further roof and i took it. it was rickety, i was drunk, but i took it anyway. and i was delighted to see a wonderful setting sun and colorful clouds, the art lifted from the canvas and flooded the sky. a joy. i finished my beer and went down again. the artwalk officially ended at 9, so i hustled to find some more galleries. but i caught a lull.

as i have exhausted before, i am scared to talk to people i havent for a long time. and a long time is a relative number. my friend adam, who lives in boulder, and i hadnt spoken at length for about three years. it that time my life fizzled out into my little cave of a life and my general unhappiness. adam got married. we met being activists in miami and forged a strong friendship from there that persisted throughout a number of other actions and protests and kept on outside of "the movement."

at one point he was one of my better friends in the world and here i was scared to call him. but i had to let him know i was close, and luckily my friend alcohol had softened me a bit and i made the call. i got his voicemail and apologized for being so terse the last time we spoke and told him i was in denver having a great time and that i was drunk, and that i would come up to boulder in a couple of days. kind of a warning, just in case he had to ready something in the home life...i dont know.

so that done, i walked on. the next gallery was where i got to show my true colors. it was large gallery with a bunch of hidden rooms and alcoves. i hurried around until i found something interesting. a photographer had his studio and in the middle of it was a picture frame hanging from the ceiling, it was ornate, gilded, fancy. and he was taking shots of peoples faces in it. while i may not be the best looker out there, i love having my picture taken. i like making faces for the camera. maybe i shouldve been a model.

the people that were being photographed were boring. it was all couples making lovey faces and kissing each other. i found some wine and filled up a glass. it was red. i hung around and each time i was ready to jump in the fram some couple would supercede me and i would let them. eventually the photographer looked at me and acknowledged that i was trying to get in and he told me to. i complied.

what i wanted to do was just make some super sad faces. and i started doing that. he was into it and giving me some direction. i noticed that the crowd was growing, and being the entertainer at some point i decided to stop being sad and start being a bear. so i gave a really mean face and "leaped" through the frame. at this, a number of people in the crowd started giving direction and eventually i couldnt take it any longer and started laughing hysterically. i signed the guestbook and hopefully will be directed to some place where i can view these images.

i refilled, gulped, and left. once outside i saw that adam had called me back so i called him back we talked. well well well, what an idiot i am. in my mind i was ready to be in denver alone for a bit, i had already scouted a place to sleep and park and had my weekend set, but he turned my world upside down. he informed me that he never lived in boulder and always lived in denver. he asked if i wanted to come over, i said no, i was enjoying myself and was drunk by now, too drunk to find my way through a strange city to a predetermined place. so i countered his offer.

me and adam
i asked if he wanted to come to me. he asked his wife, and they said yes. i was happy, but a bit scared. i asked him to meet me back at the keg party and decided to head back there myself. reacquaint myself with the surroundings, meet some people, and be part of the event when they arrived. i got back, got a beer, and migled. i ended up talking to a midget, and two businessmen at length. no longer do i know what we were talking about. we were out on the roof and various artists fromt he space would come and talk to us, mostly because they knew the businessmen.

i went back inside for a refill and to change the scenery. i was admiring a piece of art, it was a snowboard with the city of denver in images affixed to it. but they were warped and bulging, some were burnt at the edges but the photographs fit together perfectly. i looked next to me to see who was admiring it with me and it was adam. i gave him a large hug and was introduced to his wife, love, and we hugged and immediately hit it off. we chatted, visited the keg, went outside and back up to the second roof where we talked at length. again, the subject matter excapes me presently, but i am sure it was catching up a bit and talking about their impending movement to portland, or.

funnily, adam and love are planning to move to portland in about a month and open a bookstore in conjunction with microcosm and some other folks. i dont necessarily agree with the plan, but i admit to being a bit jaded.

love and our midget friend
for some reason we were done there. i couldnt drive my truck back to their place, but we stopped by my truck for me to get some things, and then we pushed off. we went to a grateful dead bar for some reason that will forever escape me. adam and love knew folks there and love and i were quickly engaged in a foosball match agaist two other folks. i had boasted my skills, and we battled to tie the game at four apiece. game point and it was my serve, i dropped the ball in and lined up my people, got my arm in position and just before the ball made it to where i wanted i spun and knocked in the winning shot. unfortunately it went in the wrong goal and the other team won.

defeated we retreated to a table to talk more and interact with some more characters. to forever preserve this memory i took a video attempting to catch the hippie chicks dancing, but failed miserably. we ended our time in the bar with the three of us talking shit in the mens bathroom about emily and her pussy licking ways (i must clarify here, that this is in reference to some graffiti near a urinal. the statement is not meant to relate to any real-life scenarios).

we left then and went back to their apartment. by now it is around 1 in the morning and i was pooped. but, without deterrence we get back to talking about a multitude of things while sitting on their bed. an hour and a half rolls by and happily we all decided to call it a night. i went to the guest bedroom and promptly found my way through the maze of sleep. and in the morning i awoke with a headache and a hangover. i went back to sleep. the third time i woke up, around 11:am, my ailments had fled and i was ready for the day. my compadres sung a different tune.

they awoke shortly after me but didnt have that instant motivation. so we hung around the house for awhile, adam made a great seitan scramble for breakfast, and we formulated a plan to go sneak into a movie; afterwards we would go to adams friends house to play some cards while the rest of the country blew shit up. i was very much for this idea.

we rallied and left, first to my truck so i could do some changing, then we went to lunch. lunch occurred only a short while after breakfast, i wasnt too hungry, but it was a good menu and cheap. i got a bloody mary. i love bloody mary's, with olives and asparagus, celery and pearl onions, pepperocinis and jalapenos, etc. this one only had olives, pepperocinis and jalapenos. it was just okay. i also had some really great mac and cheese and a just okay tempeh sandwich.

then we were off to the movies. however, the chosen theater was a fortress and we couldnt even find the back let alone surmise a way to sneak in. so we huddled and decided instead to just watch a movie at home. at this point we got to retrieve my truck from in front of the bar and bring it to the apartment. i was happy for this because everything of mine is in the truck, i feel safer the closer it is. we watched the movie "death at a funeral" it was funny.

when that finished we were off for texas hold 'em poker. adam purchased a thirty pack of beer and i was surprised, he assured me that there would be about 7 times more than that at the party and it would all be consumed. i started having ideas that differed from the 10 people sitting around a smoky table playing cards and appreciating our removal from the celebration. it started sounding like this could be a party.

when we got there we just walked in and we were the only ones there. there were some dogs, but no other people. it was a nice house, a bachelor pad, but a nice house. adam called and shortly the owner and another person arrived. his name was justin, and i remember it especially becasue he made sure that everyone listened to and understood my name when i told it to them. he was fascinated by people being introduced and upon hearing "bht" they would nod and turn away. he would then ask them what my name was. semi-confrontational, but he was having fun, pointing out how no one listens anymore, instead of politely asking for a repeat of the name they nod and turn.

then some more folks came in. we had gotten up to our ten or so folks and it seemed a typical poker crowd, i was ready to play. but then something turned. a new group of folks showed up with fireworks and some fireworking happened. the initial ten dispersed a bit into the crowd. then more and stranger people showed up. a person called jaimo brought $500 worth of fireworks from wyoming, two families with about 10 little kids arrived. the house started to crowd, more people were outside and a ladder was erected giving access to the roof.

i went up there and watched some fireworks. i came down and shot some roman candles, they are my favorite, all the while consuming dutifully my share of our beer. once the party completely degraded into a fireworks show, a number of us retreated to the basement where some heavy conversation ensued, i wasnt a part of it, but i kept up simply as a reason to stay downstairs. luckily, love rescued me.

upon driving to the house, we noted another party nearby that we jokingly decided to crash. love asked me if i still wanted to crash the party, and of course i did, i wanted a reason to walk around away from all these folks and families. adam had told us it is just three lefts away. i grabbed a fresh beer and we were out the door.

we came upon where the party was but it looked long dead. luckily, there was a band nearby and another party we headed in that direction. so, before i get to us getting there, let me fill us all in on the plan. to crash a party, it helps to know someone. we decided we would know nate. if no one else knew him, then we would know katie. they seemed like good names that stick out a little bit, they are common but not common enough to need specifics. armed with our friends names, we opened the gate and walked in.

the scene was odd to just walk in on. there was a trampoline with a child on it directly in front of us, to our right was a fire with a few folks around it,to the left was a house with the door open, twenty paces and a right turn lead to a pool, a left turn would lead you to the garage door where the music was coming from, we headed in that direction.

we walked in and the band was winding down. i guess i cant call it a band, some people were simply jamming. we met phyllis first. we exchanged names, she and love hugged, she pointed us toward the kegarator but she didnt know nate. she was older, and later we found out she was sammi's mom...sammi was chris' wife and the two of the owned the house. phyllis moved on and we met some kids that were leaving. we used the kegarator.

then we headed back toward the yard, but first we met andres. probably the best person we met all night, he was from colombia had very long hair and was ecstatic to meet us. he beleived that i looked like the guy from grizzly man, but later recanted and just said i looked like a bear, he was very pleased with this. he hugged love and i a number of times and eventually introduced us to his lady friend, i forget her name. after talking to us for awhile she told us to go inside to meet sammi and get a tour of the house.

we obliged, after filling up again, we entered the house. we made a bee line for the stairs going down and that is where we went wrong. it was my idea, a dumb one. phyllis said, who are those people going downstairs and we came back up. stupidly again i told her that phyllis told us to go inside and get a tour of the house. she reminded me that she was phyllis, everything was falling apart. sammi came and left quickly then we were spinning our story when chris came up.

i told him that we knew nate and a lady behind us overheard and was shocked, they all were. "nate invited people here but doesnt even show up himself." love exchanged words with the lady, she asked when that "nate hill" would get here, love replied "knowing nate, who knows" the lady responded "2:am" and love countered "totally." we were in. we knew the owners, the owners knew our person and there was no more tension.

i chatted with chris for awhile about his house. he bought it cheap and fixed it up himself, he offered to sell it to us for 215,000 but we had to decline. he was a graffiti artist, he showed me some of his work, then showed me his tattoos, then some more folks joined in with us. one of them was andres and he immediately told chris how much he loved me, and wanted some back up for me looking like a bear. he and andres got into talking and i excused myself. i went to fill up and then found love chatting with the drummer from earlier. when i ppopped up, he deflated and went back to the drums.

then love and i went to sit by the fire. she chatted with sue, chris' mom, and i chatted with sky. sky was dating chirs' sister. he was dressed up in full cowboy regalia and i had to know. i was drunk enough to be stupid and stupid enough to ask, so i asked if he just dressed that way for fashion or if he was a cowboy. he told me that he was part of the rodeo circuit and did some amateur calf-tying and horse bucking. we talked for awhile, i told him i was just down in taos where they were having their rodeo and he knew some of those folks, and on and on. what a weave it was! eventually i had to know how old he was.

he looked young, but i was unprepared for his answer. 17. crazy! he could tell i was shocked and after a few more awkward minutes i went for more beer, and filled up love as well. when i came back sky was gone, so i sidled up on the other side of sue and joined in that conversation. apparently love had blown our cover and sue was fine with it. a person played guitar and sung some songs we could all sing along too, it was really fun. then adam called. that isnt meant to sound as sad as it does.

but he was having a headache from the celebrations and wondered if we were planning on coming back. love and i conferenced and then asked him to come to us. he declined saying he wanted to leave and we started making our rounds to leave. we filled up again, and were off. our logic, however flawed, seemed good enough at the time. if we took three lefts to get here we take three rights to get back. three rights later we were completely lost.

we rolled up on another party that we stumbled toward and chatted with them. none of these people knew nate. they were friendly enough though, we each received a beer from their stash, and after getting them learned that they were their last. some of the people werent happy about that i called adam and explained that we were lost and he told us how to get back. said we had to go left and that didnt fit with our logic.

the miniature museum
but we found him and the house we had originally left by turning left. we boasted of our adventures and went back inside. it was clear that there wouldnt be any texas hold 'em tonight and after some long goodbyes we were headed back home. i was pretty trashed. i could barely keep my head up and eyes open in the car and when we got back to the house i at some of the leftover breakfast and fell into the bed.

after another lazy morning, i didnt get up until 11:am, i finally got the will to leave. i went alone to the denver miniature museum. adam and love wanted to stay home and relax, they had to go to dinner with his parents tonight. the minature museum was just okay. more pictures!