always leaving, always returning

this trip i am on is absolutely amazing. the people that i am reconnecting with are some of the best people and perhaps i never before realized how lucky i am to have so many good people come in and out of my life over the years. i am always amazed at how much these wonderful people appreciate me, and something i am trying to learn is that these wonderful people generally think that i am on par with them.

i left colorado springs today. there was no real impetus, but i was out yesterday and felt that my exploring was done and i was getting into a pretty good routine/life. i felt always welcome where i was staying and it was just getting too comfortable. i dont want to get myself confused. so last night i told frances and travis that i was going to leave today.

and, to my surprise, they were surprised. leaving is always hard. they both reminded me that i could stay as long as i wanted, but i felt that my stay there was coming to an end. they each have their own lives that need to be lived and things they need to accomplish, so i made the decision.

i was only planning to travel to denver, 60 miles away, so it wasnt like i had a place to be or a thing to accomplish. this morning i woke up at 10:am and frances was preparing to leave for a play date with spencer at the library. i wanted to do laundry and she said that was fine, travis was still sleeping. so she left and i gathered my satchel of laundry and proceeded. i am amazed how little laundry i have, one load every two weeks or so. and that is with being relatively clean.

so i got that underway, shortly travis awoke and we both engrossed ourselves in reading. i was reading for pleasure, he for work. when the laundry was done we went to have some lunch. that was interrupted by frances returning and needing help writing an article, so we got it to go and went back to the house. we sat there until about 4, she typing her article, me and travis each reading the new yorker.

i didnt know what i was waiting for, all my bags were packed and although i wasnt going far i still needed to leave. awkwardly i announced that i was leaving. we had a couple minutes of goodbyes, some hugs and then some more conversation about my future. then i left. frances gave me a last hug and kissed my cheek. i was sad to go. these are great people and i could just stay there forever and always be surrounded by wonderful people. the typical "what am i doing with my life" drama played in my head. but i drove on.

i got on the expressway for only the third time on this trip. and that was dumb. apparently it is fourth of july weekend and 4:pm on a friday. so i got off at the nearest two lane highway that took me to denver. the sky darkened and it rained, i continued to drive on. i was amazed when denver first came into my view. i had no idea it was such a large city! it felt like i was driving up on chicago or something, but maybe it was becasue there was absolutely nothing around and this large city just grows like a tumor out the side of a mountain.

and, an interesting side note. while i was staying with frances she offered me a book called lost highways. yesterday i started reading it, and the first couple pages were amazing! the author was having trouble with his relationship, then laid off from his job, so he decided to travel the country living in his van. the first four pages or so were his plight, his plan, and a diagram of his truck. i though that it was going to be awesome, but 30 pages into it, it wasnt. it was written way too academically for an adventure story and it happened in the late 70's early 80's so it was unrealistic to today.

the manitou incline

i woke up relatively early today and there wasnt much going on upstairs, so i sat in the basement and read my book for awhile. then i went upstairs and read my book. around 11:am i started to leave but was caught. just as i closed my truck door frances yelled out the window and made me come back in. she didnt make me, but i tried to leave quietly and woke her, so then we chatted for about two hours, mostly about torture.

around 1 i was ready to leave again, frances had some work to do and i had more exploring to do around the city. on my first day tour, frances and travis took me to a number of places, but we got a quick tour and some i wanted to go back to. i went to the garden of the gods yesterday and today i went back towards manitou springs.

we went to the arcade there previously, but frances had pointed out to me an incline in the forest, there all the trees were removed and a brown strip remained. she assured me that it was an old railroad, the steel had been removed but the ties remained and people regularly walked up them to the crest of the mountain.

i saw it as i was coming into manitou and remembered, and quickly decided that i would find that place and go up that trail, regardless of how hard it would be. and, when i finally got there, it didnt look that hard. it looked like it would be a workout, but nothing that i couldnt handle. and that isnt giving myself too much credit, just my knowledge of what my body can handle.

the manitou incline

i didnt know it when i started, but i was about to hike up 2000 vertical feet, the manitou incline. at one point the trail has a 50° incline. again, these are things i learned after the fact. from the bottom it didnt look overly intimidating and i took to the incline as i would any small hill, with reckless abandon.

i was running and jumping, asserting my male prowess (there wasnt anyone else around) and enjoying the hell out if it. then i started to get tired and looked back to see i had only gotten about 50 steps into it. at that point i had a conference with myself and decided to be smarter about it. i would walk at a steady pace and set clear goals for myself to get to and then rest until my heart was beating at a normal rate again. thats the practical me talking to the daring me.

and i did that. it was slow going, after a couple hundred steps i was past the easy part. from there it started to have more of an incline and the ties and trail were more deteriorated from washouts and other factors. but i kept on. i was drinking my water with an eye to conserve it until i got to the tougher parts. and i could see these tougher parts now with my eyes. i was starting to realize what i had gotten into.

hike hike hike. i keep going, at one point i am only going about five railroad ties and then stopping to catch my heart. and my breath. and now there were people passing me, just a few people, maybe ten or so. but i had to start convincing myself that i was not competing with them. regardless of what they looked like, i was not in a race and i was not trying to prove to them that i could do it. i was merely having a good time and letting myself know i could do it.

a little more than an hour into it i could see the top. i was overjoyed! becasue right before that is the 50° incline and that was hell on my body. by now i had also to convince myself not to turn around a couple of times. i was almost there and i could do this, there was no reason to turn around. i sat for a long minute pumping myself up to get to the top and drank the rest of my water. then i jumped up and with renewed energy assaulted the summit.

the top down

and then my world shattered. the summit i had been seeing was false. once i got to it (and not a moment before i got to it) i saw stretched out in front of me about half as much trail as i had already done and this was all at a steep incline. i was completely helpless. i sat down for about ten minutes building myself up for the letdown of turning around and walking to the bottom. trying to tell myself that i had just hadnt prepared enough, didnt bring enough fluid, was hiking at the height of the day, etc.

and then a friendly hiker passed me and i told him of my dismay. he related to me about his first time up the incline and how he was similarly shattered at this new stretch in front of him. with that, i got more energy and set off. this was more slow going and at every stop i had to convince myself to keep going up. i was so close and down was so far, it would have to carry the defeat the entire way.

so i persevered and an hour later i found myself at the top. as soon as i got there i know it was the hardest physical thing i had ever done, harder than riding my bike through bike sur or hiking in the grand canyon, and i felt happy for the accomplishment. i saw a nice tree that had been cut at the top, i climbed it and sat up there for a long minute ruminating on my accomplishment.

my tree

then a storm was rolling in fast and i decided to high tail it back down. instead of going down the incline, i opted for the trail. i didnt even think about how much longer it would be, but i was done with the incline. i felt like i raced down the trail, but with all the switchbacks it took me another hour to get down. by that time it was raining and lighting was in the distance. i hightailed it to the nearest water source becasue i was parched! i drank about a quart of water in three bigs gulps and then headed for my truck.

on the way back to manitou i saw a castle. miramont castle. i decided to stop. i mean, why is there a castle in colorado, and maybe i can sneak in to see it. it turned out to be a free self guided tour, but i didnt find that out right away. first i slyly sneaked past the front desk lady while she was engaged with other patrons and i found myself in the middle of a miniature museum. the museum wasnt small, but it was for miniatures.

that means diaramas and dolls. scenes recreating colorado and manitou springs from the past. various artifacts from personal collections and very intricate details of the shops and homes that would have been around then. it was interesting.

then i went back to the front desk area and the lady was pointing something out to the same people and i darted up the stairs. thats when i realized it was a free museum and my tension eased i started reading the plaques and enjoying the experience. in the 1890's a frenchman moved to the springs with his mother and commissioned the castle to be built in various french styles. he and his mother lived there until about 1900 when the defected back to france and donated the castle as a sanitarium.

a castle must-have

it passed hands until the 1970's when the historical society snatched it up and refurbished it for display. they had all the rooms done out in period decor and furnishings, with a multitude of plaques detailing the scenes and life in the castle, it was interesting. at one point i came to a room with an ancient record player, i dont even know what they are called, but they are so beautiful, they play like tin sheets with holes punched in them. i took a video of it playing.

then i continued through and was having a great time. i enjoy quirky museums and history so i had a blast. then i decided that my tired body deserved a break and here i am breaking it at a bar and getting my daily words in. daily pictures.

these days

the days are simply cascading around me. i dont feel like i have been gone that long, but the natural end to my journey seems to be ever nearing, and i dont know if i will make it everywhere i want before the natural end comes. i will keep my fingers crossed and continue at my slow pace enjoying every moment of this life.

so, where did i leave off. i recognize that the last few blog posts have been mostly about what i have been doing and not about what i have been thinking. since i have been in colorado springs i havent had much time to write, the times that i take are generally semi-stolen (mostly from my sleeping hours) and often not enough. that got me thinking today about the writing and whether i should take time out of experiencing and devote more time to writing.

the conundrum being is it better to remember what happens and miss out on what doesnt, or experience everything i can and maybe forget about it before i can commit it to writing. i think that i have concluded the latter.

so, back to the story. today was a change from the past two days being here, today i was on my own. and i was happy for it. i got up around 9:am and frances was just coming down to let me know what was going on. she was taking travis to work and then picking up a babysitter, coming back and then going to work herself. i was a bit disoriented, but took the time to shower and prepare for the day. when she got back, she told me that i could stay and hang out with the babysitter, but i announced that i was leaving.

then the sad face came, and i realized that i said i was leaving the same way i said it when i was leaving tucson or san diego or la. abrupt and without warning, however this time i meant that i was only leaving to explore the city, not leaving the springs altogether and never coming back. situation under control, we chatted for a minute and went on to experience our days.

i wanted to go back to the garden of the gods becasue i liked the look of the place and wanted to learn more. so i made my way towards there, i didnt know precisely how to get there but there was a street named after the place so i found it and followed the signs. when i arrived it was 10:30ish and hot. it is hotter at altitude becasue you are closer to the sun.

i walked down the path, similar to what we had done the previous time and wondered why i was taken by it, the path wasnt that interesting and the plaques didnt offer much information. then i remembered. i wanted to climb these magnificent rocks! i dont know if this is something i have always been enraptured by but since the grand canyon i have really wanted to be more daring in relation to climbing rocks and exploring natural spaces. trees arent that interesting for climbing, the ocean wasnt beckoning to me, but these rocks...

and, i guess this has been simmering for awhile. even in portland for the past few years i had been drawn to the indoor rock wall and wanted to take a class or just go climb it. i had a plan to do just that, however i was laid off and my world crumbled around me. instead i am doing this. this is better.

so, ignoring the signs, i scrambled up the biggest rock with the intention of getting to the top where the "kissing camels" formation was. i made it a little over a quarter of the way up, maybe 50 feet, and hit a wall. i felt that i could scramble up more, but wasnt as sure about getting down. then i allowed myself to remember that what i was doing was illegal and carried a $500 fine, i could die, etc etc. so i went back down. not totally defeated, but a little.

then there was a rock climbing demonstration a little down the path and went and watched a "professional" climb a sheer face. it justified the stupidity i would have engaged climbing higher on the big rock. but it did shift my focus to smaller formations around me. i walked toward the parking lot and spotted the formation i wanted. it was directly across from kissing camels overshadowing the main path and only about 75-100 feet up. i could do it!

i found a path and with some fancy foot maneuvering and some quick decisions i made it to the flat-ish top part. i stood and lorded over the crowd for a moment, then went higher. i took some pictures, and enjoyed the view for a few moments, then i started my descent. as i thought, the descent was harder, and i got lost a bit looking for my proper path, but eventually found it and was satisfied with my garden of the gods experience.

i was ready to leave and driving away when i came upon the visitors center. i decided to stop in and see what kind of information it had, especially since the plaques were lacking. first, however, i had to get to the entrance. it wasnt blocked, but a crowd was gathered for some angelic intonations. a traveling bell choir was performing outside the entrance and i was intrigued.

i had never seen anything like it or really ever even known something like it existed. they loved god, and i took a video. i went inside after listening to a few songs, explored, read some facts and then watched a movie about the formation of the place. it was interesting, but not worth the $5 they were charging to those that werent as sly as me (that means i sneaked in).

after that i was really done and went off looking for new adventures. i didnt find one, but decided to go back to the bar travis and i went to a few nights ago. tony's. it had wi-fi and i could use some computer time/beer time/alone time indoors. the lady there talked me into a mini-pitcher, but i had only planned on a pint. her logic won me over and a little pitcher came.

i typed and surfed and drank and generally enjoyed myself. frances called me while was there and we made plans to meet up in a bit. i finished up my beer, the story i was weaving, and packed up to go. and when i got to my car, disaster! but not bad disaster, since i hadnt planned on a mini-pitcher i didnt feed the meter properly and was the victim of another parking ticket. another $20 down the drain, but at least my law/truck experiences are always happening when i am not around!

frances and i met up back at her house and had planned to go to a park, but got to talking again. then i went and bougght some beers and we just kept on chatting. it is really nice to have friends that you can just pick back up with. we talked alot about growing up, our family lives and such, how we got from there to here and also about books and music and movies. then she went to get travis from work and when they got back we all sat outside and drank beers and talked more. apparently, this is the life.

then she and i walked to the store. it was a nice leisurely walk, about ten blocks. most of the way frances was talking about one of the books she had to read for a class. basically it was about how poor people think differently than not-poor people and need to be treated differently in a counseling situation to account for their economic deficiencies. she was calling bullshit on it and explaining the ways. i was mostly listening.

then we got to the store and shortly she ran into her librarian friend and resumed her discussion about the book, the librarian caught on and all of a sudden they were embroiled in a meaningful conversation. it was amazing. i felt like i was living the movie waking life.

we got back to the house and watched the movie man on wire i had talked about the book to frances earlier and she was intrigued. travis was intrigued when i explained it to him, and i had recently finished reading the book so a fresh watching of live action could do no harm. they both seemed to enjoy the film even through natalies demands for attention.

and, as per usual, the night demands a penance and we decided to pay it then with our eyes shut and our minds open. i am going to that devil now. sleep, welcome me!

colorado springs. part 2: the zoo

yesterday was a new day. i woke up quite late, but was happy for it. it was almost 10:am and i knew we had some type of plans for the morning, i never completely discerned them. but, i also heard movement upstairs so i got up, dressed and readied myself for the day. frances was up and cleaning, and informed me that we were going to the zoo.

around 11:am frances, natalie and i left for the cheyenne mountain zoo. in general i am not a big fan of zoos, the whole idea of caging animals and profiting from them, but i tried to sneak into the zoo at san diego to no avail, and i was actually excited to go. i hadnt been to a zoo since i was a young child, maybe they had changed.

we met up frances' friend kim and her two children at the zoo. one of her children, spencer, is natalies only boyfriend, upon seeing each other they hugged, held hands and then proceeded towards the animals. the first one we came upon was the giraffe. the zoo sells graham crackers for people to feed the giraffes and frances bought some. i wasnt pleased with the result. the giraffes have very long blackish tongues and are quite free with the placement of them. i got to see them engulf natalies hands and even lick her face. i didnt want that, i am not a big fan of messy fun.

then we proceeded along up the zoo to the other animals. i dont recall all that i saw, but we saw many of them and with kids along, it is generally slow going. i didnt mind so much. i was enjoying seeing the animals as well. probably the best display were the bears. you walk into a little enclosure where you can see the pool that the bears can jump in and it is full of fish that they can eat. there are two bears and they were cruising up away from folks for a minute then one came into the water. she was playing in the water and having a good time, then the other bear came up and wanted to also go in the water. they both got in and were playing/fighting for a fair amount of time, generally right up on the glass so it was nice.

the worst part was the primate villages. the baboons were so sad for their captivity and you could just see it in their faces. one of them was sitting by the glass trying to lay down and a number of kids were pounding on the glass and trying to get him to be active and then we got up and came over to the side i was on. he cleared a space and laid down and looked right at me with his sad knowing eyes and starting making signs with his hands, then the kids came running to my side and resuming their torment and the animal pointed at them and covered his face.

it was sad. we continued up the zoo looking at the animals. at some point, kims other child, a daughter named lavender took a liking to me. she was older than the other kids, they were 4 she was 7, and she kind of acted as a mini adult. she wanted to walk up and down the stairs with me when everyone else took the elevator and wanted to show me various things the animals were doing and such. it was nice. i felt kind of like a parent, keeping eyes on littler kids and paying attention to the older kid.

eventually, after many hours at the zoo everyone was tired, but there was one last thing that we wanted to experience. that was the ski lift! or zoo lift or aerial tram. a device that i am quite fond of. kim didnt want to go, and we needed someone to stay with the stroller, so it worked out. frances went with natalie and spencer, i went with laven. and it was a fun time.

after that, all tired, with cranky kids, we parted ways and went back to the house. we were hanging around there for awhile, eventually frances had to go pick up travis from work and i was watching natalie. for only like 20 minutes, but still. we chatted for a bit, but mostly she just glued things together and paid no attention to me. and we watched a scooby doo movie.

then frances and travis got back, frances had to go to school and suggested that travis, natalie and i go see a movie together at the dollar theater. the only problem was in relation to vehicles. frances needed the car to go to school and we needed the car to the theater. without even thinking about it i offered frances my truck and she readily accepted. that was the first time someone other than me has driven my truck since i got it. not because i would never let people drive it but because most people couldnt drive a stick shift.

i wasnt nervous about it until after we got out of the movie. we went to see monsters vs. aliens and sneaked in some slurpees and our own snacks. dollar theater be damned. the movie was okay, it was a kids flick, but when we got out we walked into an ominous world. the entire sky was prematurely dark, the wind whipped at our bodies and lighting was a constant frame in the distance. it was cool. that might be why i started being nervous about my truck, but probably mostly because everything in my world is contained in it and being disconnected from it is kind of like having my daemon cut off.

we left the theater and travis wanted find a good place to park and overlook the ion storm. we ended up on a regular street but at the top of a hill and sat there watching the amazing display from nature for a number of minutes, then headed off for home. there we sat and chatted for awhile waiting for frances to come home. we watched some of the miami model and talked about political and other things, still all good things.

when frances came back we talked more and, all tired, put on a cheesy movie which i fell asleep to promptly. then i went to the basement, looked at the internet for a minute and went to sleep! i have been staying up late the past couple of days and getting up late, a change from my normal routine, a change from the pattern of life that i have been breaking out from.

pictures!

colorado springs.

well. this has been a long day, let me try to get it all out. i guess i need to start with last night. last night i drank too much. after leaving alamosa i set off towards salida. i didnt know anything about salida, it was just the next mid size town on the map and was kind of in my direction. it was about 100 miles or less away and i was off.

i got there and was pleased to find the nice quaint old downtown that i love to walk down. i parked promptly and got out to explore. i first came upon a hostel with some art out front, i thought it was a bit weird, but i just got here, this could be how the town was. i walked on down the road and saw some more public art and sidewalk art. i was starting to get suspicious.

once i got to the corner of 291 and f street i realized that i was in the middle of the 17th annual salida art walk. yay. i did the customary terse walk throughout the old downtown streets and eventually came upon a river. the river, i was to find out later, was the arkansas. never before i have heard of a river called arkansas. but i was intrigued, because this river was also flooding.

i didnt notice it a first, but the river drew my attention because it was moving so switfly and had such power. i first thought it was the rio grande, because i had passed it a couple times already. i walked t a bridge and looked over, enjoying the scenery and then noticed that there was a path looking thing that was covered with water. i walked closer to inspect and saw that the river had flooded over the bike/pedestrian lane. i was intrigued.

part of what i want on this trip is to experience some danger, some natural "disasters" like earthquakes or tornados, hurricances, and i guess flooding rivers. i stood for a long while and watched the river. then i went to the store and bought a beer and walked back down to watch the river more.

after finishing the beer i took to walking the streets again. this time, i wasnt being terse and i decided to capitalize on the art walk. i started walking into the galleries and perusing the fine art and, when available, draining a free glass of wine and enjoying some crackers. i went to all of the galleries on the few downtown streets and drank about five glasses of wine and enjoying a number of hor d'oeuvres.

i didnt realize it at the time, but i was inebriated. i continued walking around the downtown, enjoyed a sidewalk band for awhile, and then got a slice of pizza and another beer, went to my truck and imbibed. then i slept and int he morning awoke to a fresh young town and was happy for it.

i did the downtown loop a few more times in the morning and then set a course for colorado springs. i took 64 east to state road 115 north and got into the springs around 11:30a. i was coming here to see my old friend frances gomeztagle...unfortunately we hadnt adequately exchanged information before my arrival and when i got here i had no place to go.

as i am when i am seeing someone i hadnt seen for a long time, i was nervous. i hadnt showered since leaving the grand canyon and recently spent 4 days in the woods with a bunch of hippies. i was feeling self conscious. so, since i had nothing better to do i drove around looking for a place to shower. however, i had no real idea of places to go. i looked on my map for the local colleges.

my idea was to find a college rec center, sneak in, and take a shower. i came to my first college and drove around it for awhile and discerned that i couldnt make anything happen there. then i drove on looking for the university of colorado at colorado springs (uccs). i thought i found it, but unfortunately it was a christian college, i backed out and kept looking. shortly after that i found uccs.

i drove up and found the rec center very quickly. there werent very many cars in the lot, and i got out apprehensively. i really wanted to take a shower, so i didnt want to blow my chance. i tried some of the doors on the side and the back trying to get in, but to no avail. then i walked toward the front door. there were posted signs saying that no one will be allowed to enter without an id, i got nervous but walked in anyway. the person at the counter looked at me then looked away.

i ducked into a side room and waited a moment. then i walked quickly but deliberately to a stairwell across the lobby. the person didnt really pay attention to me and i was happy for it. but the stairs led me to the weight room and not the showers. i walked around up there for a bit and tried the various doors, but none of them led where i wanted. eventually i found a back stairwell that came down in the lobby behind the desk and i slithered down the hallway to the pool area.

i felt very successful. i had sneaked in and was ready to shower! i took one and was much happier for it. then i walked out the front door and a went to find some internet to see if frances had gotten back to me and luckily she had. i walked around a parking lot for awhile, drumming up the courage to dial the phone number and give her a call.

let me delve into the history of me and frances for a moment. not all of this i recalled on my own, some has been reminded to me over the course of our evening together. she and i met in high school, i was a freshman and she was a sophmore. we would often go out to lunch together to a pizza place on the crown point square called "chicagos." apparently we would go with other people that we didnt really identify with and the two of us bonded over that.

when the turnabout dance came around, frances asked me to it. i was 15 and had no self confidence, there was no way that i would ever ask anyone to a dance. luckily the idea of turnabout is that the ladies ask the guys instead of the other way around.

we went to the dance, and my memory of it consists of going to the dance for a moment, taking a picture, then me smoking out of a 6 foot glass bong at some indeterminate place, then waking up in my own bed. thats it. frances filled me in on some things tonight. like, we also went to a truck stop diner with some friends of hers and they chastised me for not buying her anything. then we went to lowell indiana to someones trailer home where we did copious amounts of drugs. that was where her explanation of the evening ended, and thats where i will end it.

fast forward about four years and frances and i reconnect. she is working at an all night restaurant cleverly called "round the clock." my friend steve and i are frequenting this establishment almost nightly, for many hours into the night. she and i quickly resume our rapport and we are all hanging out with each other for a few glorious months in 1998. we enjoyed such nighttime activities as visiting the rock quarry in lansing and the car statue in berwyn. good times.

then, i left for bigger places, and we communicated via mail or email a couple times but hadnt seen each other since at least 1999. until today. i drummed up said courage and dialed the number. immediately she knew it was me and gave me directions to her home where i would shortly arrive to see her, meet her husband and four year old daughter. a whole new courage drumming session begins.

shortly i arrive at her door and do a few laps around my truck, and pump myself up,. then go knock on the door. as per usual all of my fears are for nothing and quickly we fall into a nice pace. i am invited into the house and we are chatting, quick catching up chats, while she and travis busy themselves and natalie, the daughter, watches tv not wanting to make contact with me.

the scene is a bit crazy. being a generally tidy person it is amazing to me when people can live in disarray. this house was in disarray. and it was nice, it was a lived in no real concern or time for the trivial idea of tidiness. and there is a rambunctious 4 year old that is cruising all about.

we all talked for a couple of hours, frances made some breakfast,and we made a plan to go explore some things around the area. around 5:pm we left to go to poor richards. poor richards is a catch all establishment. it is a pizza joint, a kids store, an espresso bar, semi-fine dining, a book store, and a kids play area. i got lost rather quickly in the the bookstore then lost my compadres. after wandering about for a bit i found them in the back at the play area where we all talked some more (there is a lot to talk about in a 10 year gap). and eventually left for manitou springs.

the way it was being talked about i though manitou was just a recreation area, but it is its own small town in the colorado springs area. and it has one of those really nice small-but-bustling downtown centers that just begs you to stroll about at a leisurely pace and take it all in. we went there for the arcade. becasue natalie wanted to ride some of the quarter rides and then we all went to play skee-ball. what a nice little reacquainting date.

while we are walking around, similar to ricky in san diego, frances is frequently running into people she knows and introducing me. i forget names about as quickly as i hear them, but i remember faces and mostly am just exchanging hellos with these people and vaguely listening to a small conversation that frances has with them. but, again, it is a nice feeling to be out somewhere and not be known but be with people who are recognized and approached and small-town-feeling in a big town, i guess.

so, of course, i am smiling throughout all of this and having a grand old time, how could i not? through various methods we compiled 45 tickets for natalie to purchase some plastic cheapness from the arcade store and then we walked on down the road, at that nice slow pace just being part of the crowd. we had a destination, but that place was closed when we got there so we just turned around and walked back to the car.

we destined ourselves next for the garden of the gods. earlier, when i was exploring uccs i came upon a street named the garden of the gods, but when i looked down it, it seemed to offer only more fast food places. i disregarded it at the time as just a quirky name for a street with no other connotations.

but, that wasnt true. the garden of the gods are natural rock formations that have been turned into a natural wildlife area. there are a number of trails through them and many people come to awe in their splendor. the sun was setting when we got there, and it was a beautiful dirty sunset that fell behind the rocks nearest us. we did a small loop through some of the park, with the intention of not being out there after dark. it is a place that i would go back to and explore in more detail when i have the time.

but, then we were off again, to the store to buy some things to make a quick dinner and then back to the house. frances made us some tostados in a quick fashion and it was very nice. then travis and i went out for guy time.

this date was something that was kind of pushed on us at poor richards by frances, certainly not something that i was against or unhappy about, but i had just met this person. but, the two of us got back in their car, were given a one pitcher rule, and headed of towards tony's. the bar was a place that i had catalogued at some point when i was moving about the city becasue it looked like a divier bar and it had free wi-fi.

we got there and it was dj night, i guess sundays around the country are dj night. that statement isnt one that has any validity, just something i guess. we got in and got a pitcher of pbr and sat and talked. and, again, it was a really nice time. we talked all the way through that pitcher and still had words fresh on our tongues, so we forgot about the rule and had another pitcher. all the while being embroiled in good conversation. not always deep or meaningful, but just good connecting with another person.

something that i havent really been feeling too much. so it was a good feeling to just have some beers and some conversation with another person. thanks travis.

okay, then we are leaving. it is midnight now, and clearly later than i am usually up, i am looking forward to going back to the house, sitting down and typing up some details that are fresh in my mind and going to bed. but no such luck! when we got back, the house was still alive with movement, frances and natalie were up and active, no sign of slowing.

so we got back into chatting in the living room. all the times that we were chatting it wavers between talking about now and current things in our lives to the past and things that we remember about our history together. it is a weird mix and it comes without warning. it was at this time we started talking about turnabout in 1994/5 and that experience. and i very much enjoy hearing other peoples perspectives on a past that i supposedly had. and, i decidedly do not enjoy the feeling of being told things that happened that i have no recollection of. if makes me feel like a bad person.

and this went on until about 2 in the morning! amazingly, to me, natalie is also still running around, no sign of slowing down. i am fading and luckily travis calls it time to start making our natural descent. and then i get to start typing up my day, mostly so i dont forget about things, but i dont get very far. why? because shortly after i got settled in and was furiously remembering things to commit to this computer natalie comes downstairs and walks into the room i am in to play.

she talks with me a little bit, but mostly she is playing with her toys. i ask her some questions about the things she says, but mostly i am trying to type. it is hard. she is a very eloquent child that uses her words pretty well and has such surity when she says things. i asked her if she was tired, she repiled "i dont beleive in tired. no one does. no little kids i mean." c'mon, thats a cute thing to say. she also told me that she wasnt afraid of anything anymore, she got over all of her fears when she was 3. and she gave me some history on a few of her toys, eventually i found that i wasnt going to get much more typing done and was tired as it were.

i told her that i had to sleep now, and she said okay, and walked out of the room. at that point i had barely gotten to "knocking on the door" and i called it a night. then i lay myself down to sleep.