creation destruction creation destruction

emily and i met almost 6 years ago. in november of 2003, in miami. i will talk more about that when/if i make it to miami. she moved in with me in portland on july 4th 2005. since then we have pretty much always been together until i started this trip. six months ago i left and our relationship was put on standby. we havent talked much to one another and have walked down different paths to becoming better people.

last night we broke up.

realistically we broke up the moment i left portland and left our relationship in limbo. for the first two months or so of this trip i had felt that our relationship - as it was - was over. but then, after i left indiana something changed and i thought that there was not only hope for our future but we would be able to pick up right where we left off, continuing with the things we had decided for our future in the previous years. which included having a kid. and i was excited about that.

i told a number of people that i visited with after indiana that that was my plan. i would go back to pdx, we would pick up, conceive a child and the rest would sort itself out. the person i didnt tell this to was emily. in richmond we had a chance to talk on the phone for a little bit and i told her this. she told me what she thought. and we couldnt have been on more different pages. our conversation was short and in the week that followed i sat and thought about what had happened.

i had conversations with other people, folks that knew both of us and some that had been through similar situations. long relationships that become estranged for varying reasons and eventually they have to end. the picture that i got was that our realtionship was over and i contemplated the decision to break up. it wasnt easy. i spent hours poring over the pros and cons. what tipped the scales was a podcast of savage love that i listened to.

a caller had questions about a long term relationship that had recently ended. the caller and her partner attempted to remain friends, but that wasnt working out and she wanted to know why. certainly there were more details. his advice was because a break-up is basically saying "i want my space, a space away from you right now." he didnt say that a friendship couldnt persist but that a period of mourning for the relationship must take place. he recommended three months before trying to "be friends."

i spent a good two hours over the course of two days staring at the phone trying to convince myself to call emily and officially break our relationship. technically it already was. i had been thousands of miles away for six months and we hadnt kept any kind of regular or consistent contact with one another. eventually i dialed her number and we had the conversation.

i was sitting in a mall parking lot in virginia beach while a hurricane sprayed its last breaths of wind and rain on the region. we talked for a couple of hours - it wasnt until an hour or so into it that i told her i wanted to break up. then i explained why, that it certainly wasnt about someone else, that it was mentally and psycologically for me. physically we were already broken up and apart, no changing that. i needed to start thinking about that as a reality and not think that we could take apart this precious thing and assume it would fit right back together again.

after we talked about other things, my trip, other people the things that had happened and it was so much easier to have that conversation without thinking about our relationship. it was broken and now the bits of it have been put away. it didnt exist anymore. six years of knowing one another four and a half of living together and now we could focus on each other as people, not as partners.

it wasnt easy. and i am not confident that it was the right decision, there is no way that i ever will be or ever could be. it is just what happened, the circumstances of life have put us in this point. when i come back to portland, we are still friends. at least three months have passed where we both have been thinking about ourselves as not a couple. and we see what happens.

afterwards i texted a select few people what had happened, and then sneaked into the movie theatre to try to catch a show. i caught the last half hour of the movie 2012 - that movie doesnt look very good. then i went and slept in a parking garage. it was nice to be out of the rain and let everything have a chance to dry out a little bit.

today i drove to the outer banks of north carolina. a string of islands off the coast, this place was hit heavily by the storm. a large part of it is still underwater and i wont be able to pass all the way through for another couple of days. lets hope for a nice (sunny/windy) day tomorrow and i will go fly my kite as the folks that lost their homes try to rebuild.

persistence - whether the weather

well, after leaving williamsburg i headed south on highway 60. south/east. when i left the winds and rain were just starting up there. eventually i made it to the hampton roads bridge-tunnel, that was awesome. many of the bridges that cross the bay or rivers down here are part tunnel part bridge. the bridges are low to the water and the tunnels span just enough space to allow for water traffic to pass safely.

honestly, i dont understand how things like this are built? how does someone build a tunnel underwater - do they part the water way to lay a foundation or something, is the tunnel resting on the floor of the bay or suspended somehow? i thought about these things and the pressure that must be on the tunnel as i went through it. something that didnt help my thoughts was the worsening storm and the violent waves that were crashing into the bridge from the bay. i was a bit scared, thinking the few minutes i was in the tunnel that at any moment pressure would break a seam and water would start pouring in, cars and trucks would swerve and crash creating a wall which we couldnt get through. running would do no good as the seams split wider and more water came cascading in. drowned in the tunnel of man under the chesapeake bay.

but that didnt happen.

i made it through okay, and shortly after crossing i was in norfolk. the visitors center was just on the other side and i stopped there. i parked and sat in the truck for a moment while the winds whipped my little vehicle and it was pounded by rain. i got out and fought against the wind into the visitors center. there were two ladies in there and i really enjoyed talking to them. going to visitors centers are really a fun thing because the ladies (usually it is ladies) there generally have a bunch of random information that they are at the ready to share - really thats why they are there.

the lady that helped me gave me a number of ideas of things to do while i was in town, provided that the weather would let up. and there was no sign of that

the chesapeake bay!

happening. i left there and continued on 60, called ocean view blvd now. i stopped when i saw the ocean and (stupid or not) i got out. i walked, or fought my way, across the street to the beach. the waves were crashing into the shore and the wind was like nothing i had ever felt. i stood facing the water and was fighting for each step forward. i couldnt stand too long facing the wind because the waterlogged sand was being whipped all around and in my face. i took a picture with my back to the water and the camera over my head. then i hightailed back to my truck.

i sat in my truck for awhile planning my next move. i would do this for more or less the next 36 hours. i decided to head into downtown and look for something to do. what i came up with was seeing a movie, it had been awhile since i had been to the theatre and what better time to be there? the closest theatre/only one i could find was also in a large mall. this generally doesnt lend itself well to sneaking in and i agreed with myself beforehand that if there were at least two movies i wanted to see i would pay for one and see the other for free.

but when i got there there werent any good movies. i went to the barnes and noble in the mall and read some of their books and magazines and then went to get my computer to charge it in the mall. while i was charging my computer a lady came up to me and started talking. i took off my headphones and listened to her. she lad lost her power cord for her laptop and asked if she could use mine for a little bit. i told her that they arent all interchangeable, but she took out her computer and my cord worked. she asked if she could run an errand and leave her computer with me. i was amazed, but said yes.

i thought about just walking away with her computer, but i didnt. when she came back (about twenty minutes later) we talked some more. she told me that she had recently gotten the computer as a gift and that today was her birthday. then she showed me some pictures that her daughter had made for her and told me about her daughter. i thought it was nice that she was so trusting and was happy that i didnt actually act on the impulse to steal her computer. i dont know how serious i was about it anyway.

she left shortly after that and i did too. i went back to my truck and decided it was time to find a place to park for the night. i drove up granby street and found a nice street with no large trees or power lines, near some new condos, and parked. luckily it also had internet so i got in the back of my truck, used the internet for a minute then watched a movie and went to bed.

by now it had been raining for at least 12 hours, with heavy winds. there wasnt any flooding yet, but my truck has started to take on water again. i fixed this before i left portland by caulking around all of the bolts and painting the roof of the bed shell. i used an outdoor weatherproofing that is normally for wood, but it seemed to work well for what i was doing. when i was in nebraska/south dakota i hit a heavy hail storm and this dented my truck quite a bit and started to make the weatherproofing flake off. now - after long rain - drips start to form on my roof, inside.

they arent very bad drips, maybe a drip every minute or so - it adds up. luckily they are near the rear of the bed so it isnt that bad. but, also, everything is damp in there from the condensation on the windows and aluminum frame. it isnt miserable and it isnt really uncomfortable, but it is something to be concerned about. especially since there was much more rain planned. i slept until around eight in the morning, but it was still raining outside and i had nowhere to go. so i propped up, grabbed a book and started reading. i sat back there reading for about three hours and then went into the cab where i plugged in my computer and used the internet for another hour or so.

then i decided to head off, i was going to go back downtown towards the mall. there was a wireless cafe that i saw down there and i figured it would be nice to be inside for awhile - or all day. i started driving down granby and went through a large puddle. i was nervous because one of the things i remember from my childhood is: one time me, my mom and my brother (maybe others) were driving after a storm, the windows were down and my mom wanted to get us wet so she drove our taurus station wagon through a large puddle and the car stalled out. this was before cell phones so we walked to a pay phone and called someone to come get us.

i couldnt afford to have my truck stall in a mini lake (which is what had formed over night) so i went through the first one which was long but maybe only 3/4 tire deep - not that bad. i continued on and came to a larger deeper lake and tried to go around it but there wasnt a great way around it and when i go most of the way around it i realized that i was headed towards downtown, towards the bay, towards more flooding most likely. so i got smart and drove right back to where i was parked. it was nice there, the street wasnt flooded at all, and like i said, no large trees or power lines or anything else that could crush my truck.

so i sat there, charging my computer and reading, for another hour or so. the rain

this tree was being uprooted...

and wind was only getting worse. so, like an idiot, i decided i would take a walkabout to see where i could get to and what was around. i made it about a block, a tree was threatened to be uprooted, and i was already soaked. but, i did see a restaurant i could go sit and eat at for awhile. since i didnt have anything on me i walked back to my truck and drove the one and a half blocks to the restaurant. then i sat there for about two hours. and when i was done i drove my truck right back to where it had been.

i used the internet for awhile again and then decided to leave on foot again, while my computer charged, to survey the nearby damage. i figured i could go for about a half hour, i was already soaked and smelled like a wet dog and at least i could get some pictures. i walked a block over to monticello and found that street to be impassable on foot. the water was all the way up to the building, and a couple inches deep by the buildings. i didnt want to wlak through that. in the distance i could see cars submerged over the hood. i wanted to get closer.

i walked about two blocks to get around the impasse and eventually came back out on monticello. there was a building with an awning that i stood under for awhile. i was at an intersection, across from me was a closed gas station that had the pumps submerged about 1/4 of the way. the intersection itself was a lake and to the east and south it was even deeper. this was where the cars were submerged over the hood. i watched someone with a truck pull a car that had stalled in the middle of the intersection through it. then, in the deep part to the east, where i could see two cars that were mostly submerged i watched two more cars try to drive through it. one right after the other.

and each of them stalled out in the middle of the lake. i couldnt beleive it. one the the people just sat in the car. the other person got out and in thigh deep water walked to shore. i asked him if he was okay and then he called someone. i walked on to see if i could get further down monticello but it was futile. i walked a few more blocks but there wasnt a way to walk without going under water. although

the guy that is getting out, in the background, submerged cars.

i was soaked to the bone, i didnt want to go to that next level. so i walked back to the bad intersection. the guy had walked back through the water to his truck, opened the door and water flooded in. then he sat in his car and a truck came to help him.

it was a big truck, and it drove into the deep part of the lake, in front of him, and it was submerged almost up to the hood. they tied the car to the truck and pulled the car to the far side, through the water. the car mustve been floating for a little bit of it, becasue in the very middle it wouldve been almost completely submerged. then i walked back to my truck.

my computer was charged by then so i jumped in back and watched a movie for a couple hours. when i was done with that, now about 19 hours in my truck or within a quarter mile of it, i got back in front and read for awhile while i recharged my computer. i used the internet for a minute but then the power went out. it came back on pretty quick, and then went out again for good. it has been about twenty hours since then and the power is still out there. over 150,000 homes are without power right now.

so, no more internet. but i kept the charge up, read some more, and then around 7:pm i went for another walkabout. directly in front of me, across the street, a tree had come down and was blocking half the street. it was dark, no streetlights, and many cars didnt see the tree and ran right into it/through it. i tried to take some photos of it, but my camera doesnt work so well in the night. i walked back over to monticello but i couldnt make it as far as i had before becasue the sidewalks had been taken over by water. i could see more cars stranded in the intersection. i walked up monticello in the other direction where there were still some lights.

i stopped into one of the few businesses that was open and had a little bite to eat, but while i was in there the power went out and we all got kicked out - they were closing. as i was walking back to my truck it was complete darkness, heavy winds and rain, and huge puddles all around. to cross streets i would have to get into the street 30 feet from the intersection to miss the puddles. luckily i had my flashlight to shine at the oncoming cars so they didnt run me down. i got back in my truck for about an hour while my computer went to complete charge.

i wrote this as an outline to my story sometime last night: " sirens all around, i am sitting in my truck - going on 24 hours now - streets to the south north and east of me are flooded. ironically those are also the directions of major waterways. directly in front of me is a downed tree. the major streets are flooded waist high, cars are nearly completely submerged. i am okay. i have been out in it a few times, to stretch my legs or survey the damage. the rain has slowed down now but the power is still out on all the streets around me. the wind is still very gusty, luckily i am not parked near any large trees. there is still lightning, but no discernable thunder - maybe the sirens drown that out. this isnt supposed to clear up for another 36 hours or so, but i wil try to head further south tomorrow, race to the end of the storm."

then, around nine, i went back in back and watched another movie. afterwards i went to sleep in my damp dank hole. no lights around and nature taking some revenge. i hoped that my truck would hold up and that a car would crash into me in the night or a tree fall on me or something of the sort. i didnt fall asleep easily.

i woke up this morning around 6:30am and it was STILL raining. i sat in my truck again for a few hours. i listened to a "this american life" podcast and just sat there. mostly naked, above the covers. the cold air whipped through the truck and i was happy to at least be inside. periodically i would try to look out the windows but they were all impossible to see through. the leaks hadnt gotten any worse - they even seemed to be a bit better, but the windows and aluminum were thick with condensation, it wasnt a very comfortable place. but, again, it wasnt terribly uncomfortable. i have been in worse. maybe not worse weather, but worse situations.

eventually the rain eased up and i put back on my saoked clothes (i opted not to put on anything dry but socks and underwear, because i would just get soaked again) and went into the front of the truck. i sat there, again, for an hour or so. charging my computer, and then i decided to see how the roads were. they were better. i wanted to find a coffee shop where i could sit and use internet and just be for awhile. i headed downtown to the one i had seen two nights ago. it was closed, most places were closed "due to inclement weather." i found a market and got some fresh hot bread and fruit for lunch. then i kept on looking for a coffee shop, or somewhere.

most of the starbucks were open, but i didnt want to go there. they make you pay for internet and have bad expensive coffee. i drove around, slow, for about an hour. i pulled into all the minimalls i could because i couldnt see so well and drove around their parking lots. eventually i acquiesced. i saw a starbucks and turned into a parking lot across the street. but! that parking lot was for a small independent coffee shop! yes. so, i parked and went in there.

i shouldve figured the scene when i got up here, but i didnt. i walked in and the line was about ten people deep. all of the seats were filled and about ten people were sitting on the floors, another ten people standing, all near outlets. because most places around here didnt have power all these folks were here to charge theri phones and use the internet! i waited in line, periodically stepping out to see if a chair opened up that i could claim. no luck. eventually i got my coffee and just waited for someone to get up. i didnt wait long. but the outlets i was near were two prong, and i needed a three prong!

luckily i had a few hours charge on my computer and over the next two hours i played musical chairs getting closer and closer to a good outlet and once i got one i parked my ass there and have now been here about three hours. it is awesome. i will probably stay here in norfolk another night - the storm is supposed to clear up friday night and it is supposed to be sunny this weekend. then i will head to corth carolina, and the outer banks. hopefully the good weather they predict is for true!

emergence decay (v3.0)

i have taken to looking at my trip (proposed at least) as a four part journey. each part is about 2.5 months long, there is someplace i am leaving at the beginning of each part - after having been there for a time. part one, clearly, was leaving portland. that lasted until i got to indiana. when i left there part two started. leaving richmond is the start of part three.

things were supposed to get easier and clearer as i moved on from place to place, distanced myself from the life that i had for so long and eventually swung back around to that life with a renewed vigor. after being in richmond i realized that how i was thinking about my life was very detached and i needed to find a way to ground it again. i need to find a place to start from.

traditionally, at least in my life, i go somewhere new and just start over but i am not sure i have that young energy anymore. i am not sure i believe that the entire world is open to me any longer, i am not sure that i can make it anywhere. i am not even sure i can make it now. anyway, this is starting to sound sad...and we all know that sadness is not something that is allowed.

so i left richmond this morning. a day later than i had planned and exactly two weeks after i had gotten there (exactly two weeks

the chesapeake bay/james river

to within 5 hours). muna and i made breakfast and chatted for a little bit i shared with her the story of when emily came to visit me in portland. she stayed there for almost a month and when she was leaving back to michigan i was ecstatic. not becuase i didnt like her around but because she was a visitor and normal life goes on hold a little bit when you have a visitor. i had looked forward to having some time to not entertain to just lay quiet in my bed or be alone for a minute, or just catch up on my chores and clean my room.

i dropped her off at the airport and went back home and got started on the rest of my life. an hour later she called me and told me she had missed her flight. i went back to get her but i was very mean about it. i kind of ignored her and went about as if she had left. it was mean and i felt bad about it. i tried to explain it to her later that night but words are such a poor vessel for the things we are thinking. and i dont know many of them.

anyway she left the next day but it wasnt the same. i kind of did the same thing to muna and the folks she lives with, but they werent mean to me. i planned to leave on monday but i was waiting for a package from emily in the mail and it didnt arrive until after 6pm so i decided to stay another night and just leave in the morning. it was nice. muna and i made some dinner (which was amazing) and were able to top it off with some dried tomatoes that emily had sent us. (these tomatoes were the ones that i had started from seed in a makeshift hothouse in my closet, it was nice to have some of them.)

then we played some connect four, a dice game, and cards. i was just one of those "nice nights at home." i woke up very early and was able to say goodbye to everyone in the house. it was sad to leave.

the night before, what was thought to be my last night, muna and i went to a pub down the hill from her house and drank a few pitchers, talking about life and stuff. it has been a long time since i enjoyed conversations like that. and while they are tough and i am pressed to admit things to myself that i would rather overlook, overall i was happy to have the talk. it reinforces that muna is a good friend and hopefully we keep up for a long time!

i left around 11am, gave muna the mix cd that i had made for her (and let me just say that it has been YEARS since i have made a mix cd...i spent a very long time working out the songs and the order, then listened to it twice, and made a nice case for it that featured my first attempt at sewing paper) and then she walked me to my truck, we hugged and i was off.

it was a strange feeling to be going again. it really hasnt been that long but more than a couple days and a pattern starts to emerge and comfortability sets in. i was driving and had to stop to read the map and i just sat there for a little bit. convincing myself that this course was the best to go on. it worked, and i took route 5 east towards williamsburg.

williamsburg is also near jamestown - the pilgrims and such (right, it was the pilgrims that landed at jamestown???). driving, i went straight to jamestown. i didnt really have anything else to do and it was a large park, i figured that it would be easy to sneak inside if it required a form of payment. i got there and went to the building, they did require a fee so i set off walking around the building to find a weak spot. instead of a weak spot i found a river.

my new collection

the james river empties into the chesapeake bay here at jamestown and i spent some time walking along th beach collecting beach glass! this is something i was introduced to by an old friend in indiana. when i was there (indiana) the two of us combed a beach on lake michigan and found maybe ten small pieces of beach glass. by the time i finished up combing this tiny beach i had an entire pocket full of glass. i was amazed how much there was. i do not have any reason to have it, but i do have it...and i will get more when i can. its fun.

then i walked back up to the building and saw the group entrance. people were entering and exiting that entrance freely (and there were very many groups) so i decided to give it a shot. how easy. i just walked in the door and then down a corridor and i was in jamestown. no fee required.

i walked to the interpretive areas first. a camp modeled after the local tribes (approximate) and that was neat. because there are a bunch of people that work there but are in full period dress doing things. i met a person that was making arrowheads and i gave him a few larger pieces of the beach glass so he can make them into arrowheads or just enjoy them. then i went to a basket maker and chatter her up for a bit. then i headed towards the ships.

there were three ships, replicas of the ones that sailed here in 1607 or whenever it was. there were folks on the ships dressed as shipmen explaining the ships and the quarters and such, all very interesting. i asking if i could climb the mast to the lookout, but i was told no. then i went to the fort at jamestown. i talked to some more period folks in there - including the blacksmith that was making period dishware. he explained that the fort is as authentic as possible, even the nails were made by him in the same fashion that a blacksmith would in the 1600's.

i walked around more and talked to various other folks. what i got from these people is that this isnt just a job to them. they love doing this stuff. i asked one guy if we wears his period dress when he leaves or if it is issued to him by jamestown and he has to turn it in each night. he looked at me and said "this isnt a costume to me. these clothes are comfortable to wear and protect me while i am doing this work. i do wear these clothes out of here, but that isnt too strange in williamsburg." (i would learn more about williamsburg later.) then i asked him about his sword.

later i found a lady that was making canoes out of trees by burning out the middle. awesome. she said that they start a fire and let it scorch the trunk, after it cools they use seashells to scrape the charred area off and then build another fire. it was pretty

i could do this job!

interesting. next i found a guy that was making cord. cord like i use for macrame! he showed me a really easy way to join the fibers of yucca into a durable cord. i didnt get it very quick, so he showed me again. i still wasnt able to do it, but i got the gist of what he was saying. what a great free place!

the last person i talked to was some random person who i wanted to talk with about some of the plants around there. i saw some bamboo and was pretty sure that it wasnt native, i also saw a persimmon tree and was surprised to see it grow here. he admitted that the bamboo isnt native and that they have been trying to get rid of it, but it is invasive. those were persimmons i saw, and then he went on about local botany. he talked about how the natives would use the various plants to cure or treat illness and disease and was chiding the colonizers for not taking more care to document the plants and their uses.

anyway, most of those plants - the real good ones - are probably extinct now anyway. he agreed with me on that point.

then i went to the museum area (i was getting tired by now) and walked through that quick and took off once i got through there. i was on to colonial williamsburg. there is a large area of the town that is basically a reenactment of the town in colonial times. employees flit about in period dress, there are horse and carriages for travel, and some demonstrations/street plays. i walked through this area amazed at all the folks doing thier "job" but really just acting like they are really from the period and interacting with the tourists. how fun.

i watched some of a street play and was doubly tired after walking through all of this place. then it started to rain a little bit, so i turned and started heading back to my truck. on the way i stopped at the colonial gardens where a tour was taking place and the gardener was explaining a number of different kinds of kale. i was leaving when he brought them over to the nasturtiums. i followed him and asked if he was going to give them flowers to eat, and he said no that he was going to give them seeds...which were better than the flowers!

i stayed and listened for awhile, watched where he gathered the seed from and then ate one. most of the people on the tour werent brave enough to try it, but i ate mine readily. it was good, but i do like the flowers more. then i got back to my truck.

oh, perhaps i should talk about how things are changing. well i am mulling over some things about my life. i am wavering on making a big decision the gist of it is this - should i stay or should i go? either way there will be trouble.

thought to landing

(heavy/deep sigh) the last few days have happened. they have included such things as karaoke, coffee shops, and a nice walk along the flood wall. although i love being in richmond, my mindset is on the move and i feel ready to be gone from this place. to have my body in motion again, the wind blowing through my hair as i encounter loneliness and hardship and whatever else the road south will bring me.

i am still undecided on my route and i dont think i can make a decision on it while i am here. just as when i was leaving portland the path south wasnt drawn for me until the tires were moving along the road, my copilot giving me options for our journey. then everything just happened, whatever plan i had built up in the days before i was leaving were absolutely scrapped. kind of like how everything is just happening now and the things that i have been holding onto and beleiving in - the future i have been thinking about - will also have to be scrapped.

heavy shit.

again, i dont really feel like recounted all i can about the past few days. muna and i went out for dinner at cedars - a mediterranian restaurant. that was nice, the owner worked for the government in jordan and talked up a storm to us,

muna

particularly to me because i am male, but everything he said was for muna's benefit. after that we went to the first friday art walk, which was unlike any i had really been to before.

it was on the main downtown street, which was 4-6 lanes, and featuring quite a few live bands, cops, and plenty of people. we meant to just make a quick stop at muna's friends show, but ended up seeing a few other things as well. including a one man band. apparently this person was a friend of muna's, he played guitar with one hand and drums with his feet and the other hand. he also "sang." it was pretty good.

then we went to karaoke. we went with robert, a new friend, and were met there by a person called jenny. the four of us found ourselves at liberty valance - richmonds most country karaoke bar. typical, i had to pump myself up before i could find the courage to drop in a song. the first one i did was "mmm mmm mmm mmm" by the crash test dummies. i dont really like the song, but it is easy to sing, slow and clear. i still tripped up a bit. but after that first song you want more and more.

i put in "my way" by sinatra, "ring of fire" as a duet with jenny, "under pressure" as a duet with muna, and "the sign" by ace of base. i only got to sing my way. but that went well, i know it is an oft sung song at karaoke but i am considering making it my signature. they didnt have the remix to ignition, they didnt have very much bruce springsteen, and they didnt have any songs that were on my "set list."

we closed the bar down and then drove home. i have been spending my days walking around, reading, and sitting at coffee shops. the museum scene is kind of old for me - and i have gone to all of the ones i really wanted to get to. so, basically just bumming around. but i am sedentary, this would be fine and easier if i were on a southward journey. instead i just find myself going to the same few places, caught in a rote and am too comfortable with the few places i have found to venture to new places.

i have also spent way more money than i wanted to. looks like someone will be living off of ramen noodles for awhile! yay!

the next day we went to the farmers market/brunswick stew festival. i had hoped it would be like the chili festival i attended in portsmouth, but no. we got there only two hours or so after it started and many of the places had already sold out of stew. this meant that the few places that still had stew featured super long lines, and we had to pay a dollar per sample! incredulous!

we had about five samples and muna bought a quart for her mom. then we went walking around, we started heading to slave trading center (defunct) and then a graveyard/slaughteryard for slaves. there had been controversy over this place because some people were trying to preserve it but the college (which owns the land) recently paved over it to make a parking lot. we went in there and walked around for awhile.

a fine ruins...

then we ended up by a fine ruins. i very much like ruins. it was an old railroad bridge that was a dump site for coal. there were hoppers off the bridge that would be filled with coal and then a truck would come underneath to be filled up. it was a really beautiful decaying spot and we took many pictures. it was getting late then and i wanted to check out the railway museum, which is only open on weekends.

we drove over to it but it was undergoing renovation. luckily they didnt mention that on the answering machine. luckily because after finding it closed muna and i took a long walk on the flood wall. it was really pretty and serene, we got to chat and just hang out. it was really nice. we walked all the way to belle isle and then turned around. it was getting late - and cold! at the other end we went up a ramp to overlook the river and downtown richmond. we sat up there for awhile, watching the world - the birds, the dogs, the traffic. and talked.

then we went back to her house, she wanted to rest and i went off to read at a coffee shop. however, i came back only a few hours later. i was pretty tired after walking around all day and not sleeping much the night before. i sat in the loft and watched a movie and then went to bed.

my time here is winding down. that is a good thing and a sad thing. it is good because it is hard to be a visitor for a long time, i dont want to make very strong attachments - i leave and sometimes i dont come back. so i am happy to leave so i am not stuck in this world of "almost here, but not really." and it is sad because i like it here alot and the people i have met and already know here have been pretty great. i can see myself coming back here for a time.