why oh why did i ever leave wyoming?

well, luckily i found some spare time in the middle of the worst storm i think i have ever been in to start giving an update. from the middle of nowhere, south dakota (or nebraska, i am not sure which right now).

well, i left cheyenne. and not immediately, but eventually i would sing my own version of the song "why did i ever leave wyoming." i had to jump on the expressway for a couple of miles to get to the highway that i wanted to take north to mt. rushmore. straight away i started noticing people lined up on the on the frontage road as if they were waiting for a parade.

i went under a walking bridge and people had lined up atop there as well. the further i went on the denser people seemed to be, and then cops started being on the highway forcing people to slow down. i was thinking "great, the day i leave there is a parade." but then my wits shined through and started questioning the validity of a parade that went down a frontage road. cant be too great.

i drove on and soon i started seeing cowboys on horses on the median between the expressway and the frontage road, more cops on the expressway, more people on the frontage road. i crested a hill and i saw what was coming. and i thought to myself "i wish my life could be a simple as this." these people were all waiting, expectorating, for a cattle team to come through. i assume that this was a special cattle team for the 113th annual cheyenne frontier days, but just the idea the pleasure of watching some cows go by.

soon i was through there and on my way north. the land was flat with some rolling hills, and there was nothing setting the landscape apart. it was just flatland, cattle, and grass. it was boring. it was beautiful too, but mostly it was boring. i just drove and drove and there was nothing, i went about 90 miles without seeing any signs of human occupation.

once i found civilization and was able to feed my truck, i was off again. same road, same nothingness. i was burning through gas and miles like i hadnt since california. eventually the land starting turning and there were more rocks and more hills. and i started driving through a national park. wind cave national park. also somewhere in here i switched from wyoming to nebraska and then to south dakota. there was no sign announcing my arrival in nebraska (or south dakota, i forget which).

wind cave boasts the 4th largest cave system in the world, i beleive. they currently have 150 miles of caves that are known, and they beleive that is only about 10% of the cavern that exists. there is only one natural entrance to the cave and it is about the size of a regular cowboy hat. it is very small. the natives to this part of the land believed that all life came out of that small hole and that one day they would be taken back inside the hole. the site was a very spiritual place for those people.

i walked around the park and through the visitors center, i tried to get on some of the cavern tours, but was unsuccessful and unwilling to pay $9 for a tour, i am saving up my entertainment budget for wednesday.

once i got done there it was time to get back in the truck. more driving, the landscape hadnt changed much but there were more rocks and the hills were more frequent. it reminded me of what i think ireland looks like. i took solace in that. what i was coming upon were the black hills of south dakota. a beautiful part of the country. it was started to get somewhat late, and i had been driving all day. i was close to mt.rushmore but didnt want to get there in the dark and then have to go find somewhere else to go. so, when i came upon the small town of custer, i stopped.

it was a nice little stop on the way to the big monument in the middle of nowhere. it is also the place where custer made his last stand. there were many battles around this area for the land, the natives held their own very well and for a long time, but eventually lost. and around this time i started wondering why the government would commission this monument in a place that was so far out of the way from anything. well, it dawned onme that it may have been a mockery to the natives, a final fuck you to those that held the land as sacred. i didnt unearth any facts to back this up, but i think i will stick with it.

anyway, i parked on the main strip and started walking a loop around the town. it was late afternoon and sunday, so most places were closed. i walked a couple of blocks and came upon a museum, surprisingly it was open. i walked up and saw that it charged so i didnt want to go through it, but the lady at the desk caught my hand and talked my ear off. she was super nice and her "lady friend" got me when she was done and talked to me more about my journey and gave me spiritual wishes and such. it was nice, but over the top. i liked the place.

i finished my town loop near the grocery store, so i bought some things and decided to go find a place to lay for the night. it was still early, but i also wanted to get some internet time in. eventually i found a little hotel on the main street that had wireless and i could park right in front of it. i could even sleep there, the traffic would drop to almost night by the time night rolled around. so i parked and got the internet, then noticed that i was right in front of the pool. it was just open, and there were some folks in there. i decided to test my luck.

i jumped in the back of the truck and changed into my swim trunks. then i had to wait a couple minutes until the coast was clear to jump back out, i didnt want to get caught prematurely. i grabbed my towel and walked up to the pool and opened the door. really, was it this easy? yes! i walked over to a chair and got directly into the hot tub. it had been hot outside, but there was no one in the hot tub and it was a bit more secluded, i wanted to see if anyone would ask me about my room or something. after a number of minutes no one did and i wanted the jacuzzi on, so i got out and found the dial and enjoyed it more. eventually a lady from wisconsin got in there with me and we chatted for a bit, i wasnt timid anymore, so i jumped into the pool.

it was cold, but refreshing. i swam around int there for awhile and then went back and forth between the hot tub and pool for about an hour, eventually there was no one else in there. i decided my time would be done and went into the bathroom. success! there was a shower in there and i obliged it by taking a nice long shower. it wasnt a very good shower, but it had been a couple of days and i cant pass it up when i have the opportunity. after i showered, i felt no fear to the place. i dropped my towel in my truck and got a beer and my computer and went and sat outside the pool for awhile.

when i was done with that i got back into my truck and slept right there outside the pool. i slept in late and didnt really want to get up when i did, but it was getting hot in the truck and i needed to press on. i thought about dipping back in the pool, but decided against it. instead i had breakfast next door and when i was finished i started the 20 mile drive to mt. rushmore.

it was a slow winding 20 miles and when i started getting close traffic got a bit worse. when i got to the gates, the lines were 20 cars deep and it cost $10 to park. from the way i came up, i still hadnt seen the faces, they are situated in such a way that you really need to get into the park to see them well. i drove on by the gate and turned around. i had noticed some pull outs about a quarter mile before the gate and figured i could just park there and walk in for free.

it was a spectacularly easy walk and i was surprised that not many other people had taken the idea. i dont know if walk-ins were required to pay as well because i just went in through the employees entrance. shortly i was on the main concourse and the hall of flags leading up to the monument. it was packed up there.

mt. rushmore

i filtered through the crowd and got up to the faces. they were pretty spectacular. the heads were carved to fit bodies 465' tall. and the majority of the "carving" took place with dynamite. i went into the visitors center and watched a short film, and then walked around the museum. i saw an old diagram which showed a stairway that workers could use to get from the bottom to the top. i wanted to take that stairway, after the manitou incline i figured it would be easy.

i went to the rangers desk and asked if such a stairway existed. he said no. i then asked him how the greenpeace folks got up there and he didnt look too happy about that. he said it was under investigation and he couldnt talk about it. so i went outside and found a trail and took it. it was called the presidential trail and just did a loop around the various worksites that were in operation during construction and also gave different views of the faces. there is no public access to get to the faces themselves. thats a shame.

i finished up there quicker than i thought i would and made the decision to head to the badlands. i decided to take more country roads and would eventually regret the decision. something that i didnt factor into my equations is that there is a lot of space between anything up here, even gas stations. i drove and drove. i went by one small town and saw a gas station, but i had about 70 more miles on this tank and there was another town before i actually got into the badlands. i pushed on.

the little town that i wanted to gas at was called red shirt. all it consisted of was a hill that had the words "red shirt" put into it. there were no buildings. i was in the badlands. i decided that i would drive on through and eventually wound up on a dirt road traveling 75 mph and watching my gas meter dwindle. by then i was about 40 miles away from the last gas station and had about 30 miles left on this tank. i felt i was screwed. i looked at the map and decided i would head out of my way - but not backtracking - to the next town. that town was called scenic.

i was literally terrified at the time. i was in the middle, really, of the badlands, and how cliche to run out of gas there? not only cliche, but stupid too. i wasnt even looking out the windows any longer, i was just looking at the road, then my mileage, then my gas meter. it was a vicious cycle that i couldnt break. but i also wanted to run out of gas. i am so careful usually to avoid these things and i think it would help me to experience the consequences of being careless so that i can start enjoying it more.

the badlands

i was sweating and just running the different scenarios through my head, at 75 mph. i would just run out and then call AAA (but, oh shit, no cell phone service). i would just run out and walk or hitch to the nearest town then call AAA. or i could just run out and walk away never to look back. that would be kind of dumb and reckless, but isnt that what i just said i wanted? i was hauling ass, passing people on the dirt road (part of my reasoning was that when i ran out of gas, i knew they would pass me) and then it happened.

i passed a tiny little town about 4 boarded up shops on one side and a gas pump on the other. i decided not to stop becasue it looked deserted and i didnt want to waste the gas, but then the dirt road ended. that little town i passed was scenic and the next town on the map was about 30 miles away. no way i would make it. so i turned around and went back to the gas station. i pulled up out front and still didnt have any faith, i walked in and i asked the octogenarian behind the counter if that gas pump out there was real. she said yes and gave a little chuckle, i gave her my card and went to fill up.

i am pretty sure i have a "15 gallon" tank on my truck. which means that my truck will really hold about 16.5 gallons of gas. i let the gas fill up and it stopped naturally at 16 gallons, and then i topped it off to 16.3. i was that close to being stranded, but also that far away. i went back inside and told my lady about my ordeal and she chuckled again. the guy i hadnt noticed before asked where i was from, i told him portland oregon. he asked if that was rainy like warshington. i told him that the little imaginary line that separates them doesnt separate the ecosystem or the climate.

then i was off again. i started on a 25 mile loop through a different part of the badlands. i would take that north and then east and then drop down onto a little highway and take that towards omaha. the badlands, i am not entirely sure why they are called that, are the ocean floor. the ocean that existed about 60 million years ago and was most the united states. this area still hold the contours and look/feel of the ocean floor and was extremely beautiful.

the bug graveyard

i drove with my window down for about half the way. i hate bugs. and there were grasshoppers or something very similar to them all over the place. my windshield was a battlefield that the bugs were losing, but their kamikaze efforts were starting to impair my vision. i had to roll up my window because sometimes they would fly into the cab. and i would freak the fuck out. literally, i would pull over and jump out and find them and get them out with water handy tool i could find. at one point i stopped and looked at the grill of my truck, and although i dont like bugs, i was sorry to see the graveyard there.

again, the badlands are amazing and beautiful, i got to see tons of prairie dogs and a herd of bison. i almost saw a big horn sheep, and i was able to get out with a fossil. the fossil is two teeth that are still connected to the jaw. they look human, but i am sure they arent. it is illegal to take fossils and i thought about leaving it, but i took the risk, fuck the law! i spent about two hours exploring and driving through the park. it was nice there, but i didnt really like being so much in the middle of nowhere. i was ready to start heading south back toward where people live.

i was on highway 44 heading east and in front of me i could see an amazing storm. from 50 or more miles away i was watching the lightning like it was right on top of me, the darkness was so thick in the distance that it looked like night. and i was driving right toward it. at the time i felt that it was much further away than it actually was. i was cruising and there was no one else around. i looked up to my left and saw this billowing cloud moving at such a fast pace, it was like nothing i had seen before.

the wind had also picked up. it had to be at least 50mph, blowing across the road, which made an interesting effect. at some points it felt so strong that i thought the truck might blow over, it seemed ridiculous, but plausible under the circumstances. and then the rain came. it was light at first, whipping sideways at the windows but then it started pounding harder, falling straight and strong on the truck.

soon, i could barely see out my windshield. when i stopped in the badlands and saw my grill/graveyard i was hoping that a nice rain would come soon so i wouldnt have to see it again. i wasnt hoping for this. i had my wipers on all the way and the rain was so hard and fast that i couldnt see a thing. i slowed down and then the rain slowed down a bit. then the hail came. at this point i was doing 45mph or so and the hail was coming very fast. little pellets at first, but with such force and sound that i got nervous.

then it came even harder, and i found i was driving faster, the hail was now nickel sized and bigger, and it was growing. the pounding all around the truck had me in a frenzy when one hit the top of my cab it sounded like a bowling ball, i tried to stay around 45, but i was pushing my face so close the windshield that i wasnt able to see that i had gotten back up to 75mph. i eased up some more and then wham! a golf ball sized piece of hail hit my windshield on the driver side about 6 inches from the top and 2 inches in, leaving a large crack.

i started freaking out then, the storm wasnt letting up at all and i couldnt turn around, there was nothing back there, nothing in front of me, nothing nowhere. i pressed on, waiting for another piece of hail to assault my windshield and gain entry to my cab. i tried going slower and slower thinking that the velocity of the impact would be lessened if i werent going so fast, but i was so petrified that i kept throttling back up trying to get through this.

and then i decided to stop. it was as heavy as ever, and the hail was pounding all around me, it was the sky playing war with my truck, and the sky was winning. i couldnt stay slow and it didnt feel safe to drive so fast with such little visibility and the large hail. so, i was just dead on the road, and then crack.

another hail hit my windshield and it cracked again. i wasnt doing anything but watching it, it came so fast and was so large, this left a crescent moon crack from the drivers side corner to the beginning of the first crack about 6 inches from the top. i thought how stupid i was to just sit here and take this, clearly there wasnt much i could do but i wasnt getting anywhere and the hail was giving me any mercy for stopping. then another piece of hail hit near where the first one hit and cracked the windshield right in my line of vision all the way to the bottom.

freaking out, i decided to start moving again, if i lost my windshield, it would be better to be closer to a town, and at the time i had no doubt that my windshield was toast. i was cruising about 25mph now and driving back through the worst part of the storm. i got hit again on the drivers side and another crack formed. why were all the cracks on my side! i tried to find some zen place and just get through it. eventually i made it to a little town and i found a place to park and just sat there for awhile. the storm was starting to blow over and i wanted to be done with it. it was about 6:30p, but i had recently crossed over into central time so it felt like 5:30 to me.

i decided that i would just stay here and got in the back to make some food and settle in. but, it was so early and with the storm blowing over the sun was coming back out. i made some soup and ate it while reading my book. it was starting to get hot in there. i looked outside and sun was still high, setting on the side where my window was open and just laughing at me drenched in sweat in this tin box. i looked at the time and decided to just stay here.

a half hour later, i couldnt take it. it was like mid-day again and i wasnt where i wanted to be. i wanted to get to valentine nebraska and stay there. so i put my pants back on and started driving again. if i could be stupid three times in a day, today is the day.

i found the end!

i started heading south on highway 83 toward valentine and what do i see in front of me? an amazing rainbow!! but thats not what i am talking about, i saw the storm that had just blown over me. i was already driving again, so i just kept going. it was the same as before. heavy winds, then the rain, then the hail. i was cursing myself for being such an idiot, i was still 20 miles from valentine and i was into the smaller hail already. i didnt want to get into the bigger hail, and luckily there was something here. a casino.

i pulled off and parked in the lot. the storm was heavy, the rain was harder than before and the hail was still small. the wind was amazingly fast. i got out and ran to the back. by the time i made it in, about 20 seconds or so, i was completely soaked. and here i am now, mostly dry and the storm has passed again. it is dark now but i am just in the middle of nowhere in the parking lot of a casino. i think i am going to park better and call it a night here.