to alamosa colorado

well, like i said, i left the rainbow gathering yesterday. i went into town and sat there for awhile, debating my next move. when i first heard about the gathering this year, it was in reference to someone heading toward taos, new mexico. so, i looked at the map and made it my destination. it just seemed right.

however, when i got there, it seemed to suck. driving through new mexico is great though. i have only been through this state once and that was all at night, in the year 2003. oh, i should explain. okay.

in october or november of 2003 my friend focus and i plotted a trip from portland to miami. we were on our way to the 2003 FTAA protest that was to take palce in miami, toward the end of november. we had been part of planning in portland with various groups, i was mostly planning with indymedia folks and was to go down there early and seed the indymedia space. both the house we rented to live in for a month and the convergence space where we would set up a media lab.

how focus and i got the idea to drive there together, i dont remember. but we had been acquainted with each other since very early in my being in portland, but in those few months before november we had become better friends doing food not bombs together and such. anyway, we decided that it would be best to get to miami as soon as possible, we were driving her car.

our plan was to drive straight through. with two of us we could one drive one sleep all the way there. looking back it probably wasnt the smartest plan, but oh well. i dont remember the route we took exactly, but we zoomed down i-5 and i cut off at i-40 which took us through albuquerque. i only remember this becasue it was the middle of the night and we stopped to dumpster dive for a bit by a bakery. we got a fair amount of bread and were off again. at some point we cut down to i-10 and took that all the way to i-95 to miami. we did the entire trip in about 3 days. i remember more about our trip back, it was longer.

anyway, that is really the only time that i remember being in the state of new mexico. and, like i said, it was night. but this time, i was driving in the day toward taos. and when i got there it was getting on toward night. i was unhappy with what i had found so far, in regards to places to sleep, but i did find a nice little theater. duly, i parked around backed and checked the rear exit doors from the theaters to see if i could sneak in easily. one was wide open.

the movie i wanted to see didnt start for another hour or so, so i went and got some food hedging my bet that the door would be open when i came back. it was. i walked into an empty theater and out the door. generally i go straight to the bathroom, because it doesnt look suspicious to come out of the theater to to go to the bathroom, but the bathrooms were on the other side of the ticket taker. so i did a couple of circles until i found the theater that i wanted and went it and waited. i watched the movie "the hangover" and i laughed.

once i was done there it was almost 10, so i just went down the street to the quality inn parking lot. they generally have wireless, unprotected, and it was close. right when i pulled up i saw a security guard walking around shining a light onto the cars. i didnt know what he was looking for, but he put me on edge, i didnt want to get caught. i jumped in back and laid low for awhile, eventually i got tired of it and opened my computer to do some interneting. after that i laid down to sleep.

and it didnt come quick or easy. first night back in civilization, bright lights, zooming cars, and the fear of being caught. i tossed for a long time trying to succumb to slumber. i woke up very early the next morning, and popped right up. the frist thing i saw was a police truck praked next to me. did i pop up right quick becuase i heard something? i sat and wondered. but, no. there were police vehicles parked all around me, and eventually the cops all came back and left. i dont know what they were doing, but i didnt want to leave until they did.

once i was ready to leave i was prepared to just jump on the road and drive again. so i did just that. and shortly, i came upon a really nice quaint town. the town of taos. apparently i had only made it to the outskirts last night and thats why it sucked so bad. i was enjoying the look of the town, so i parked and walked around. i really like the architecture of the houses, they were generally squares with round edges and flat tops. mostly a dull brown or some green thrown in. earth tones. like nature, i liked it. then i came upon the little farmers markert, which was nice. i tried some free samples and walked around. i sat and watched a marionette for awhile.

then i had to go feed the meter or move my truck. i decided to stay longer and just move my truck, first i had to find it. i meandered through a number of small streets and little shopping plazas, it was all real nice, and eventually found my truck. i moved it to the free parking by the market and walked back through the things i sped through while looking for my truck.

then i got a bit lost again and i noticed that the traffic was at an absolute snarl. i found my way out to the main road and saw signs of a parade. meaning i found candy on the ground. i picked it up and put it in my bag. then walked on trying to find the parade or where the parade was going. i found some bike cops and they verified that it was a parade, but it had just finished. i walked back to the town plaza where there was an info booth.

i chatted with the guy in the booth for awhile. he told me that the hullaballo was about the rodeo. today and tomorrow only at the rodeo grounds. i told him i walked most of the way around downtown and saw no such thing. he informed me that it was a small bit out of town behind the walmart. it cost $8 and you could bring your own beer. i thought about it, but decided against trying to find it. he told me more about the history of taos and explained the "summer of love" celebration that the city was holding.

apparently in the late 60's a fair amount of hippies stormed the town of taos and kind of took it over. the summer of love celebration is a rememberence of that. and that is why the town was probably so cool, a lot of art galleries and book stores, and a lot of awareness of itself. it is a place that i think i would enjoy being in for awhile. i thought about staying longer, but decided against it. so i pushed off toward colorado, again.

but i got lost a number of times trying to find the proper highway, driving 15 miles to get 3 miles away. but eventually i found it and was on the open road again. i kind of paralleled the rio grande and just drove through mostly flat land with the mountains right in front of me. it was gorgeous. and i was rocking out to wanda jackson, which made it even better.

then i came to san luis, the oldest town in colorado. i stopped there and walked up this hill that led to a shrine. it was a nice walk. from there i decided to head toaward alamosa, it looked like a nice mid-size town and i assumed it would be more like taos, we'll see.

and see we did. i spent a bit of time here, but it isnt much. so i am going further north. see some pictures!

when did human beings stop being part of nature

i asked myself this question when i was at the grand canyon. the reason it came to me had to do with the foot paths along the rim and the paved paths that were a short ways away from the rim. i started to think about all the people that came there to experience nature, but were not being a part of it. the path you chose to walk on determined whether or not you were part of nature and existing within it, or experiencing it as something outside yourself.

i used to think things like this alot, and ruminate on them for long periods of time. not so much lately. but this one stuck with me. then i read this book "seize the daylight" about the history of daylight saving time. i never knew anything about it, and just took it for granted as something that always happened, that it was some sort of native technique stolen by the europeans or that ancient egyptians followed this process and it just continued to modern day.

well, i was quite wrong. the idea of it was first written down by benjamin franklin in 1784. he amused himself with the idea of moving hours earlier to take advantage of the morning sunlight in the summer months. he simply mused about it and it didnt go anywhere. it wasnt until 1907 when the idea came up again. this time, by an architect in britain named william willett. his designs took into account the sunlight and he made it his lifes mission to see that clocks were forced forward in spring and backward in fall.

the idea never caught on in his lifetime. eventually during the world wars a number of countries employed daylight saving time to increase production in their war plants and reduce evening raids. anyway, after world war 2 the idea of a daylight saving time was controversial and when in and out of fashion, whimsically. it wasnt until the mid 1980's that daylight saving time was made official in the united states. these things are crazy to learn.

anyway, this isnt about the history of dst. but, reading that book helped me to realize that human beings stopped being part of nature when time standardization was first formalized. that was in the year 1828. why then? because before then every community followed its own time based upon the sun at high noon. when the sun was at high noon the local church would ring its bell and people would set their watches to noon. or a ball would drop at city hall to signify the same things and folks would set their watches to noon.

when time standardization came into effect, it wiped out local times and wiped out the position of the sun relative to time. large swaths of land would be subjected to the local time of a major city. eastern time came about based on noon in washington dc. central time was based in columbus ohio. and on and on. and the idea of time standardization was primarily for the benefit of railroad schedules. corporations taking on nature in the name of profit.

so, my conclusion, is that when time stopped being judged by the position of the sun, humans stopped being part of nature and started being observers/users/abusers of nature.

at the time, some people disregarded the change. mainly farmers, natives, and those in rural communities they continued on living by the position of the sun and continued living in sync with nature, instead of trying to live in sync with the railroad companies.

the rainbow gathering

day 1: "welcome home"
well, i left durango early in the morning and set off on a course due south. on highway 550. my intention was to drive 50 miles or so and stop for the night, then tomorrow drive the rest of the way to cuba new mexico - the nearest town to the gathering. well, i made it to my first stop, farmington, before anything really even opened and i just blew right through there.

i did that a lot in california, but something enticed me to drive on. i had a place to be - home. home, of course, is what the rainbow family calls the gatherings, the most popular sayings are "welcome home," "we love you," and probably "wheres the weed." that last one is made up, but i am sure some variation of it is espoused quite frequently.

so, i got to cuba and it was a tiny town. i drove through it, then back, then halfway through it again to the visitors center. i stopped there and ate some lunch i had purchased in durango, then left and found some wireless. i wanted to have one last shot at the internet before i embarked up the mountain. after that i went back to the visitors center and talked with them a bit. they had a big sign out front with information on the gathering and many local businesses had welcome signs for the gathering.

i took some info, and then went to the market. at the time, i was preparing myself for not leaving the gathering until it was over. which would spell 13 days up here. anyway, after the market i pumped myself up and turned down road 126 which led to the gathering. the first thing i saw was a hitchhiker. i assumed he was headed to the gathering and i needed some interaction that wasnt all internal to calm me down. i am pretty sure having him in the truck was the first time someone had been in here since rubin. crazy.

so, i pulled over, unlocked the door, asked if he was headed to gathering, moved all my stuff, and he hopped in. his name was breeze, he was older and had a prosthetic eye. he took it out for me, i asked him to. he chatted me up the mountain for 26 miles or so and we were there. a huge banner that read "welcome home" was strung between some trees and a nice person at the entrance gave me some direction now that i was here.

first off, it wasnt what i had expected. what i imagined was pulling up to a large meadow and parking in a sea of cars, while people steamed around me on all sides into this giant drum circle or something. everything was pretty calm. i was directed down this road and told to go about two miles more to a parking area, or if there were spots along the road, i could snatch them, but only on the left side. and all four wheels had to be off the road or the forest service would tow your car.

i was driving along, and first we came to "a" camp. a camp is generally the camp closest to the main entrance and it is where people that want to drink alcohol camp. the main meadow and other camps frown on drinking, so this is the scarlet letter camp. i drove on and next came to bus village. you guessed it, bus village is where all the busses pull in to park and camp. we stopped again to chat with someone and breeze got out there. the person here said that i should just keep going and only park in the parking lot.

i drove away and shortly after found an open space on the side of the road. i took it. i pulled in and got out, made sure all my wheels were off the road, then i turned off the truck and got out. so, now i am alone 9,000 feet up a mountain, and i have no idea where to go. i lock up my truck and tidy things up, then i set off. i walk back towards bus village and try to talk to the guy again, but he is busy with someone else. so i stand around, looking like a fool for a few moments, then walk on down the road.

shortly i am met by a group of folks coming up a hill and a lady asks me to help carry some stuff to their camp, i oblige. i ask where we are headed, and she said some camp name. then she gave me the info i was looking for. where they had come up from is a good path to get to the main meadow. instead of turning around and going to a known entrance to the gathering, i walk on down the road. i can hear some yelling and other human sounds so, i look for a decent path down and take it.

a small bit after leaving the road, i realized how dumb that was. there was no one else around and i had no idea where i was going, and the yelling had stopped. i trudged on. i saw a tent up ahead a fair bit and shortly after that a very narrow path. i walked on by the tent and and turned towards where i thought the meadow would be. eventually i was lost. i was in a small meadow with some cows and they were very scared of me, they kept running back from me, so i walked around them.

i took the long way and eventually found another path-ish area and walked on. now i could neither hear nor see any human things, so got a bit nervous, thought about walking back, but then i saw a water line! i followed that and came to a kitchen, where i was asked how to get to the main meadow. i was pretty far away from it and he gave me a general direction. not long after losing sight of him i was lost again. i ended up going in the complete wrong direction and luckily ran into someone walking toward the main meadow. i fell in line.

the only problem was that he also didnt really know how to get there, but he had been there before, so he was better off than me. we found more signs of people and continued asking, people kept redirecting us in the right direction and eventually we got there. and that was what i was expecting. it was a huge meadow with a bunch of kitchens and tents set up along the edges of it. there werent very many people, however. we walked along and parted ways after a bit.

i was then satisfied that i knew where the meadow was, now i had to find my truck again. i walked around the meadow more and asked around for which path would lead me back to the road. i was pointed to one and i took it. it wound around a bit and i got lost, but now there were plenty of campsites around and people to point me in the proper direction. i asked without hesitation and found myself popping out of the road at bus village. right where i shouldve dropped in in the first place. things were going alright.

i found my truck very easily, went to it and made some sandwiches and sat outside it reading. it was nice, i talked to everyone that walked by and was able to offer some insight as to where they were headed and where things were. then it started to rain. so i jumped in the back of my truck and finished my book. i was back there for awhile and enjoyed watching people and listening to people without having to interact.

once i was done, i popped out and headed back down towards main meadow. again, i meandered about for awhile, seeing the people, the tents, the groove of it all. there was a person playing the guitar and singling well right in the middle, i walked over to there and sat and listened for a couple songs, then everyone started leaving and formed a large, very large, circle. there was an outside circle and an inside circle that faced each other, i didnt know what was going on, so i sat down.

what i participated in was "main circle" where all the kitchens bring a dish and they go in between the inside and outside circle dishing out food. but first. first we listened to some announcements and stuff, then we all stood up held hands and commenced a group "om." really, not my thing. but, i was there and participated in it, part of this journey is that i dont know what my thing is, so i have to experience different things and then know what my thing isn't to deduce the field of what my thing is, eventually to one.

after the om, some folks started carting by with food, and we ate. it wasnt very good food, but it was free food. i sat in the circle until it was mostly broken and then got up. i still didnt have anything to do, so i walked around some more and then headed toward my truck. i got in and started typing away, and then i started hearing some commotion outside. a rainbow posse was gearing up to go dismantle "pirate camp."

the reason, was becasue they apparently had two kegs of beer and were sharing it with "the family." these family members werent too pleased that drinking was happening outside of a camp, so they posse'd up and headed off. i stopped typing and joined them. however, my main reason was to have a cup of beer, not necessarily to help dismantle the camp.

pirate camp, was derelict. wait, back up. the family folks werent only upset that a kegger was being thrown in the name of the family, but the night previous someone was stabbed at pirate camp and the camp had already been asked to dismantle themselves and leave. the family doesnt like to have blood spilt.

so, i was walking and eventually came up to the posse. it wasnt very big and they were holding people back until more folks arrived. i wanted to go up and have a beer, so i tried to press on. i was asked to wait again, so i did. then four of the posse went to do some scouting, i tagged along. we got to pirate camp and it was derelict.

as we were rolling up, a car was coming up as well and i stopped the car. he didnt know why, but i had seen a pirate camper passed out in the ditch with his feet hanging onto the road. he was on the opposite side of the road we were walking on, and the car saw us so was driving far to the drunkard side and didnt see him. i think i saved someones legs. there were only like five people in the camp, and no kegs to be seen. i was disappointed and wanted to turn and leave then.

but i didnt, i stuck around for about fifteen minutes. i overheard some folks talking by the fire and i thought i misheard them so i walked up and asked "did you just say that dog ate someones cat?" and it was true. just before we had gotten up there, one of the campers dogs saw a cat and snatched it and killed it. i dont know if he ate the cat, but the cat was dead and that was sad. a stabbing, a dead cat, and drunks passed out in the street. clearly this camp wasnt in line with the family values.

there were some discussions going on, but things seemed to have died down so i pushed off. i got back to my truck and it was just dark at that time, so i changed into some pants and walked back to main meadow. i was told there would be a drum circle and fire dancers. a drum circle i could hear. so i went to see some fire dancers. once down there it was pitch black and i was employing my flashlight. the meadow was mostly empty, and the drumming was coming from a camp across the way so i made my way over to it, but it was kind of lame. there were only three drummers and one wasnt very good. there wasnt any fire dancing, and i was kind of tired.

so i walked back up to my truck and am preparing for sleepy time now. some notes fo far: i really need to poop. there are shitters dug out and tarped off, but i am nervous to go into one, because i think i am going to be squatting next to someone else pooping in a little ditch. that does not sound appealing. and, do i need to bring my own paper? but, the other option is driving 26 miles to town to poop. in the morning i will probably use a shitter and be the better for it.

day 2: "summoning my inner hippie"
when i was a kid, say age 13-16 i was a hippie. no doubt about it. i had long hair and listened to all sorts of classic rock, but was specifically inspired by woodstock. all the bands that played there, it became my personal duty to find out all about them and love their music. arlo guthrie, country joe and the fish, joan baez, ritchie havens, jimi hendrix, jefferson airplane, crosby stills and nash, paul butterfield, santana, ten years after, and yes, the grateful dead.

i wanted nothing more than to go back and be part of that festival. i am sure some of it was that there was so much nudity and a strong sexual atmosphere...which to a 14 year old is mecca.

i had the extended box set of music, owned and watched religiously the woodstock movie. at one point i could tell you everything you wanted to know about the festival. i even begged my dad to let me go to the 1994 reunion, and when he said no i bought it on pay-per-view without asking. that was my rebellion. it is embarassing. but i grew out of that. i dont think i grew out of the ideas, but the methods, the free love hippie spirit, never really fit me and with time it shed. i grew into the beautiful butterfly i am today.

coming here, i thought that i would be -in a way- experiencing what it was like at that woodstock festival. but, so far, i havent. maybe because there is still a fair amount of time before the thing actually starts, but also, maybe, because it doesnt exist.

today, i walked around and said hi to everyone i saw, but i just dont fit in. i dont have that gregarious nature to just run up to folks and chat about nothing. i am not a pothead, and i dont smoke cigarettes. i could hang out at a camp and drink with the drunkards, but those folks are kind of ostracized as it is. and i want to fit in. i want to get the most out of this experience, but so far i am not getting much.

i want to stay until the thing actually starts, but i dont know if i can do that. that is another week away. on a more positive note, i found and used a shitter today! yay! it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be, a hole in the ground with a bucket over it. you squat over the bucket and it your poo goes. it is wierd to have someone walk up on you while youa re wiping your ass though. those are moments that are best kept private, i think.

day 3: "i am not part of the rainbow family of living light"
i believe i am done here. i am just not part of this family. i dont even think that this family even exists any longer. my experiences over the past few days, while not bad, dont shine a happy hippy light on this gathering. first and foremost, its the people.

i was expecting a bunch of shiny happy hippies. i know expectations are only built to be crumbled, but that was mine. it is my fault for coming in with one, but there was adequate buildup in my mind that didnt really allow me another choice. so, as you can gather, i was not met with a happy group of shining hippies. the people here fall into about three categories. 1. old hippies that keep to themselves. 2. crusty punks. 3. bros.

and in reverse order they are the worst. the bros are horrible, and the majority of folks that i see. these arent abercrombie and fitch bros, these are dreadlocked, dirty, misogynist, on-the-lookout for drugs and pussy bros. and it is really annoying. to hear guys just yelling across the meadow "sparejuana" or "pussy" or listening to the groups of guys talk to each other, calling each other fags or saying things like "a girl could do that better than you." it wears me down.

then theres the crusty punks. these are people that at one point in my life i identified with and wanted to emulate. i never identified as a bro. the crusty punks, dont give a shit about anything. they are only out to break the rules. so, the majority of them arent helping to do anything, and are drunk most of the time. the crusty punks were the surveyors of pirate camp, where a kitten was eaten, a person was stabbed, and a keg party was supposedly thrown.

the older hippies, i dont have anything against them, they just arent up to being all inclusive any longer. it seems that they shy away from the bros and crusty folks and just hang out in their camps chatting with each other about the old days. they are probably the driving force for things like the main circle and the ideas of this place, of this idea.

the rainbow family is called such because it is all inclusive, no one is ostracized so long as they are part of the family. however, being all inclusive does not mean that oil will mix with water. everyone can come here, but there are still very clear divides among people and there doesnt seem to be any ongoing work to break those down. even if there were, i am not sure it would make a difference. the bros arent going to all of a sudden stop being bros because of this experience, most of them are here because their attitude affords them more delight in this realm.

the crusty punks arent going to change. they are here to take advantage of the things that are offered for free. and everything here is free. you just have to not give a shit and take what you want. they have stations where you can go and get high for free, someone walks around handing out free cigarettes, food is free, coffee and water are free. and you can just be here and not do anything and still get everything.

so, i have had a hard time finding a place. and because of that i dont feel entirely welcome. my placial hardships are, in part, my own fault. i dont smoke cigarettes. the majority of people here do and they bond over that, they pass cigarettes like joints and use smoking as a social tool. i dont smoke pot. much the same as cigarettes, except more institutionalized. at main circle there is a person that comes around and asks "who hasnt smoked marijuana today" and if you raise your hand he ostracizes you. kind of makes fun of you for being so lame and then invites you to the 420 station after main circle to smoke out with them.

this morning, i walked down to main meadow and was on the lookout for some breakfast, but i was up pretty early so i just sat and read my book, waiting for something to happen. luckily i got to hear to morning crows of the rainbow family. all around me, almost nonstop, was a chorus of coughing. from waking up and smoking (pot or cigarettes) or just waking up and hacking from the aforementioned. and after that people would call out "coffee" and some kitchen would reply "coffee." and then eventually the person yelling would make it over to said kitchen and partake.

basically, this is a drug haven. the bonds people make are over drug and drug induced and that isnt what i want. not at all. i do not feel that i need drugs in my system to have a good time or to exist or to be functional and, unfortunately, i despise those that do. i look down upon them. and i feel bad about it.

but because of that, i have a hard time to just tell random people "i love you" or more common "luvin you," because if it comes out of my mouth it is a lie, and not very well covered. i dont love these people. i dont love this gathering. and despite everyone welcoming me home, this is not my home. i do not live here, and i do not want to.

some other notes:

yesterday at main circle there was a double rainbow and people were overjoyed by it. even i was amazed by its vividness and beauty. it was raining all around us and a small patch of sky opened up, right where the sun was, and just formed these two very bright rainbows. at that moment i was happy to be here.

dogs. i am not a dog person. at all. i would venture a guess that for every 5 people here, there is 1 dog. the estimate is that there were 1700 people here last night (it seems high to me, i have only seen about 400 or so at the main circles...but apparently most people dont come out for main circle). i have seen at least 100 different dogs running around. most of them run free and shit freely and cause a whole lot of problems. a lot of them fight with each other, violently. cats are not safe. children, i would suppose, are not safe. and the health of the people is in jeopardy. the dogs shit everywhere, most of the time it is not picked up, dogs eat other dogs shit, children fall in it, dogs eat out of the same bowls as their humans, dogs lick their humans, dogs eat other dogs shit. it is disgusting to me, and i think i would find this place more enjoyable if there werent so many dogs running, and barking, and fighting.

i am sleeping great up here. it is the darkest night i think i have ever seen, and there are no lights around me at all. it is wonderful. it isnt cold in my truck and i dont have any fear about being woken and forced to move.

for future reference, my map of the area. i am parked on forest road 70 headed west. i walk about 50 yards east to bus village, and i can drop down into a main trail. i am going south now and just past bus village i hit a kitchen. i havent discerned their name yet. then i walk down the trail about 1/8 mile (steep) and come upon an atv trail/another main trail. if i head west i will hit the magic bowl kitchen and then main meadow. the shitter that i used belonged to the magic bowl. if i head east i will hit milliways kitchen, kickapoo kitchen, and eventually cuddle country - a clothing optional camping area. i generally head toward main meadow.

once there i will be looking south and directly across from my is the tent where the drum circle was the first night. looking east, i will see another trail that heads up and i think that leads to bread of life kitchen. further east is the visitor information/lost and found. (the lost and found has a subtitle "there is no such thing as a groundscore" but, i have seen quite a few people claim groundscores.) and just east of that is kid village. to my immediate west is camp nothing, then camp pit stop. i beleive this is where nic at night stays. there is trail that leads into the forest and around the main meadow. i didnt explore well enough to find what the names of those places were.

candy. i like candy as much as the next person, but here, i figured it would be something of an afterthought, or even frowned upon as an artifact of babylon. but not so. candy is just another drug that these people use. at main circle, people toss out wrapped candy as if you were at a parade. however, they dont call it candy. the call it zu-zu. i dont know why. but, tootsie rolls, bubble gum, chicklets, snickers bars, and the likes. to me it is just another hypocrisy.

the meadow is huge i would guess 50 yards by 400 yards. from the meadow i have been told that people are camped and have kitchens set up as far out as 3 miles.

the cops are in full force. there arent any city of cuba cops, but the forest service does a constant loop around forest road 70. there are mounted forest service cops that come through the main meadow twice a day. oftentimes the crustys or bros will start yelling "pigs on horses" but the older hippie folks will go talk to them and pet the horses. its a wierd mix. i am generally for the petting of horses part, because the cops on horses dont seem to be trying to start anything, they are generally very friendly people that may even support the rainbow gathering. but the detritus yells at them and makes a statement that the rainbow family accepts all people except cops. which i dont think would be an "official" statement from the family. quite the opposite.

day 4: "back in babylon"
i figured that i would leave yesterday, i wrote like i would and i was prepared to. but for some reason i couldnt bring myself to do it. instead i sat in my truck most of the day, it was raining, but that wasnt the primary reason. i just didnt really want to go back down there, there being the main meadow. i wasnt feeling it. so i sat and read all day long. when the conch sounded for main circle i finished up my chapter and headed on down to eat.

i got down there with plenty of time to spare. it seems that with all of these people, all of this oil and water, the traditions of the rainbow family are getting a bit lost and it took a long time for people to gravitate to the circle. while waiting, those that were already at the circle were able to enjoy a viscious dogfight where one dog lost an eye. thanks family.

one thing that is great about this gathering is the food! for main circle all the kitchens bring food down and distribute it. and they make some good food, and there is alot of it.

after eating, i promptly returned to the confines of my truck. i had convinced myself that once it was dark i would go down to the main meadow and find a party and enjoy myself. however, it starting raining more and harder and eventually i fell asleep to the gentle pounding of the rain. this was the first time i had really experienced rain since before i left portland, it was nice. also, my trucks weatherproofing held up beautifully.

this morning i got up and again didnt want to leave my truck. i also couldnt force myself to just leave. i had it in my mind to hitch a ride down to babylon and enjoy the offerings of the city for the day then come back up and try to make it until the gathering actually started. i didnt make it. i just sat and sat in the back of my truck, reading. and wanting to leave, needing to leave. i made breakfast and ate it in my truck, i didnt want to leave.

but then, amazingly, i roused myself. i got dressed and got out. or some combination thereof. i got in the cab of my truck for the first time since i parked it and fired it up. i was leaving. a few more forces from my mind and i released the parking brake and engaged the vehicle. i was heading west on forest road 70, heading to babylon, really going home. but then disaster struck.

not to me, but i was driving on this one way, the way out, and eventually iw as stopped. apparently a family member decided to disregard the idea of driving slow on the small compacted dirt forest road and had rolled off the road and blocked the way out. the driver of the rv asked the family for help, but since they had put other family members in jeopardy there was no help from the family. instead, they called the cops. and it would be awhile before this was sorted out. so, now i was on a one way compacted dirt forest road pointed in the wrong direction.

i got some folks to help me, and eventually i was able to turn around. going the wrong way on a one way forest road for the next 18 miles or so. great. but eventually i made it out. it was slow going, having to pull over for oncoming traffic, going 15-20 miles per hour.

towards to bottom, i saw that the us marshalls (i dont know what function they serve) had set up their own little camp and a number of them were guffawing with each other. shortly after that i saw that the forest service had set up a checkpoint to turn onto the forest road heading up to the gathering. i was glad that i was leaving. after being blocked in and thinking that i might not be able to leave, and then seeing the militarization that was mounting at the bottom, coupled with not really fitting in anyway, i knew i shouldnt be there.

it was a nice couple of days, i enjoyed the weather and relative isolation, but really i need something with a bit more organization. and a strong foundation of people that i trust.

toobin'

a popular video game for the nintendo entertainment system. a childhood past time, while pulled behind a boat. a brief experience on the sandy river. my story for today.

yesterday i made the decision, without much thought, that i would buy a tube and ride it down the animas river, going through a number of class 1 rapids and downtown durango. i had walked along a portion of the river and it looked great. i saw people kayaking and taking tours, down the river, and i had done it once before, so i felt it wasnt going to be a problem, just a great experience.

the previous time i had gone river toobin' was in oregon on the sandy river. this was probably 2006 or 2007. a number of us had piled into some cars for a day trip to the river. along the way we stopped and bought two tubes from a tire store and went to find a place to sit and hang out for the day. where we found our home was on the south end of a small bend in the sandy river. by small i mean it was maybe a two minute walk to the north end where you would put your tube in, and then ride it around the bend and back to home. maybe a 5 minute tube experience.

last night i parked just above where i would drop into the river, and i was caught in my truck, but that is a story for another time, this ones about toobin'! in the morning, i roused quickly and got ready to leave. figuring it would be a hot day i stuck with my river shorts, a tshirt and my sandals. it was barely 8am and it was about 52 degrees. i was cold.

i went to the store and bought a drink, then walked down to the river. it was about a 5 minute walk from the store lot and it felt good to be moving around in the cool morning air. i found a little path to the river and walked down to it. i dipped my feet in, and then quickly recoiled. the river was freezing cold! (note to self - no shit?)

for whatever reason, i hadnt planned on the river being cold, so i started to scrap my plans and went to have some breakfast. i sat and ate, piddled on the internet and found some places that rent kayaks and do tours and stuff. i called some places, catalogued some addresses and set off to talk to find a kayak. also, while at these places, i asked about the possibility of getting my own tube and toobin' myself down the river. i was told that the places dont rent tubes until the water is below a certain level. and today, it was double the level where they would rent tubes. she didnt recommend toobin' today. the places i went to werent cheap in the way i wanted them to be. i figured about $30 to rent an inflatable kayak for the day, maybe $15 or so for one of the short guided tours.

no such luck. the prices werent out of my league, but more than i felt willing to spend for a short guided experience, with a bunch of strangers. so, i scrapped that idea for the time being and looked on craigslist to buy a kayak for cheap. again, no such luck. then i meandered around downtown for awhile, stopped on the river crossings to watch the people go by on their kayaks and tours. i was looking for people in tubes, to give me confidence that i could do it.

eventually an older man and a tween girl started to walk by me and they had a tube. so i asked the guy if he had been toobin' this day. he said that he hadnt but mariah had. and i thought to myself, if a tween can go on tube today, so can i.

invigorated, i walked to my truck and was dead set on doing this. i went to a tire place and bought a tube for $10. i drove to the drop in spot and parked. i said some words to pump myself up and got out of the truck. at the drop spot i was at there was a large gathering of folks, maybe 15 folks and five kayaks, and they were all preparing to drop in. having just a tube and not seeing anyone else with just a tube, i kind of hung back and was waiting for them to go in.

they took a long time, i prepared myself. i emptied my pockets, and figured a way to attach my keys so that i wouldnt lose them should anything happen. i looked and the family was still preparing -- they were putting on sunblock. duh, i should too. so i started applying sunblock to all my exposed areas and took of my shirt and got what i could. i spent about 8 minutes doing this stuff, waiting for them folks to push off.

eventually, they didnt leave and i grabbed my tube and charged past them. i was ready. ready for anything. i walked down the little hill like a person that knew what he was doing, like i was on a mission. tube the damn river. i had waffled all day and here i was, the moment of triumph. slap myself in the face and dive in.

i tested the water. it was still rather cold, but not as cold as it was this morning. i thought about turning back, but summoned everything i had and put the tube in the water. then i waded in and got into the tube.

now, as i have said, my toobin' experience is limited. i didnt really know how to sit on the tube to get the best control of it, i figured that there is only one way to sit in it. right? well, not so. there are different ways to sit, and because i wanted to just do it before i backed out i found myself on the river trying to adjust. and i wasnt doing the greatest job, the river water was very cold and i was tried to sit cross legged so that my feet werent dangling in the water. that didnt work, and i nearly capsized myself trying. i was mumbling to myself, encouraging myself not to fall out, because there would be no way i was getting back in.

the current was pretty fast from the get-go, i kind of dropped in on a mini-rapid which wasnt the smartest thing. i was flailing my arms around trying to maneuver myself towards the middle of the river. quickly, i came to a bend in the river and found myself going over some rocks, one foot on the tube one in the water, freezing. but i took a moment and laid back and enjoyed it. i felt like i had accomplished what i wanted to do.

and that is important, because around that bend was my first real rapids. a number of boulders sticking out of the water, and me trying not be be cold and trying to maneuver around them. the first one i got around okay. the second one, i ended up going over and lost all control of my tube which then drove me straight into a third boulder which was rounded, but stuck out of the water a good 2 feet. my tube tried to go over the hill and in the process forced me off the tube.

i panicked a bit and went into survival mode. i never even thought about trying to rescue the tube, i latched onto the first rock that i could and held myself there for a few moments. then i pulled myself up and closer to the edge so i could stand. the current was pretty fast and i was behind the boulder so it was moving around me. i stood and watched my tube float away down the animas river.

then i was faced with getting out of the river. i had been nearly completely submerged and was soaking wet. i was standing in the river about 8 feet from the bank. there was no trail or anything that led me from the bank to the park that lay above, i had to blaze one. i stepped one foot out into the current and felt how strong it was. i knew i couldnt be hasty, i didnt want to get swept further down or fall down and hit my head. no one knew where i was and there wasnt anyone around.

i planted my first foot firmly and lifted my second, wobbled a little and held onto the rock. i felt my foot had a good plant so i swung my second one forward into the current in front of a smaller rock and planted it there. now i was fully in the current and moved a bit faster, knowing that i could just fall forward and my head and hands should reach the shore. i took some quick steps and was on the ground again. i started to recap in my head the events that just took place, but wiped it away, now i had to climb through 15 feet of brush at an extreme angle and sandy footing.

that was harder than getting out of the river, but eventually i made it to the top, scraped up quite a bit and looking rather haggard. there were two teenage boys throwing a ball and one looked at me. i told him i lost my tube, put on my sunglasses and turned to walk back to my truck.

and when i turned, i was met with quite a surprise. my truck was only about 100 yards away from me. i had figured that i made it a fair bit down the river, it felt like a long time. but the bend in the river took me out and then back to the shore where i had parked and i hadnt gone very far at all. i laughed to myself and sat on a bench.

the family that was preparing their kayaks still hadnt left and i didnt want to walk back by them and explain the events that transpired over the last three minutes or so. once they dropped in i walked back to my truck, got my book and sat and read while my clothes dried off some. i thought about my experience and was a bit unhappy for losing the tube. i had planned to deflate it and take it with me for my next toobin' experience, but these things happen.

mesa verde.

well, i am not in the mood to write right now. i have been starting and stopping writing on various topics for the better part of an hour, while i drink beer in a bar in durango colorado. the bar is called the last dog, the bartender just bought me a beer, she is cute.

this morning, after a very good nights rest, i went and explored more of mesa verde. i went to the visitors center and purchased my ticket to "the long house." the original long house, not some knock off in portland. this was a community that existed in the mesa verde cliffs until 1300 c.e. they had built up huge walls and dug large kivas into the cliffside. i bought the ticket, and set off for the 45 minute drive through the park to get to the tram.

now, being from portland, when i think of tram, i think of the aerial tram. so, i had just thought since i first read tram that i was going to be on some sort of lift that would transport me from solid ground through the air to a cliff side dwelling that was otherwise unreachable. no such luck!

the "tram" was just a glorified golf cart. i wasnt angry, but certainly disappointed. we loaded onto the cart about 10:30a and headed down a paved path a couple miles in and stopped at the entrance to the long house. as with all the other dwellings, we had to walk down a path to some stairs and then more path until we reached the actual cliffside where the structures were. the ranger gave a talk about the inhabitants and their growing techniques and the land around us. it is all really nice to listen too, it makes me dream.

we walked through the ruins and after an hour and a half were back up top to the waiting tram. we piled on again, this time a woman who had been walking near me during the tour asked if she could sit by me. of course. we chatted a bit, she is from san francisco, also recently laid off, and just out traveling enjoying herself. i thought it was quite a coincidence we talked more as the tram drove on for the rest of the loop.

along the loop i learned more about the dead forest. the forest that burned in 2000 was mostly juniper, with some pinion pine in there as well. it has been nine years since that fire and i figured that some new growth should be evident. my mind wondered if the park service was consciously keeping growth down for the dead forest effect. quickly i wiped that away as a ludicrous thought. what the tram driver told us is that it takes about 250 years for juniper to get to the height that it was when it all burned, i'd guess just over ten feet. he pointed out some new growth, a seedling about 8 inches tall. he said that was 9 years old.

so that dead forest should be there for awhile. also, along the way the driver pointed out a harras of wild horses. as with parrots, i was aloof to the continued existence of wild horses. for whatever reason i assumed they had all been rounded up and controlled. again, wrong.

we made a few more stops, the lady kept chatting me up, the people behind us got into the discussion as well. at the end, i felt like something more should happen. but nothing did. probably because i didnt do anything. dang me. i ended up driving behind her as we made our way to the exits. as per usual, i formulated a plan in my head to stop at an overlook if she did and finish what had been started. she never stopped and we ended up driving in opposite directions. c'est la vie. or whatever.

i drove on highway 160 east towards durango. now i am here, i will stay here for a day or two then head towards cuba, new mexico.

some notes about the grand canyon.

people can hike, and quite a few do, from rim to rim. the distance for that is 26.9 miles. i would like to do that someday.
i started reading the book "the unpleasant profession of jonathon hoag" while i was there. i learned about california condors while i was there, and noticed that the cover of my book was graced with a california condor.
the california condor has a 9 foot wing span and stands just over 4 feet tall.
there is no such thing as a "down time" at the grand canyon, it is always full.
to stay at one of the hotels or lodges, you should make reservations 12 months in advance.
you can take mule tours down the bright angel trail, it is recommended to make reservations for them 13 months in advance.
if you would like to go whitewater rafting, you should make reservations 2 years in advance.
who does that kind of stuff?