hot country night or how i learned to leave kansas city.

yesterday was a fun day. the main reason i came to kansas city is because of the song "i'm going to kansas city" i heard it on a disc i have and then decided that i too would go to kansas city. maybe there was some magic there if such a song was written and recorded by a number of people. as already covered, the main lyric/object of my desire was 12th street and vine. the secondary was "they got some crazy little women there, i'ma gonna get me one."

this weekend, the places i sneaked into the other day, everything happening here is for an all lady conference about silpada. now, i am not entirely sure what silpada is but an internet search suggested it was some sort of jewelery design company based in kansas. yesterday was the inaugural day of the conference, this city is swarming with crazy little women, at least that part of the song continued to ring true.

at least the sleeping is getting better. but my truck isnt. i am currently a jumble, this will be a piecemeal post. so, when i was looking for a place to sleep the other night, it was impossible. i drove around for almost an hour looking for a spot. and when i am looking it is for a couple of things: 1, the internet; 2, level ground; 3, somewhat hidden, like between two houses and there is a tree or something. anyway, the neighborhoods i was in were not offereing any of those things and as i drove my truck kept making new and discouraging death rattles. i know that people drive cars that make all sorts of strange/loud/bad noises and those vehicles continue for a long time.

these noises just make me nervous. what is the next step of this journey? when the truck breaks down and i cannot afford to fix it what then? settle where i am like i used to and take what comes? go back to portland? really, what i what to do when that happens is sell the truck for as much as i can, a couple hundred dollars at least, and then buy a bike and some panniers and head south. second verse same as the first. a whole lot slower, and probably whole lot better. anyway, enough speculation on my future, i have the recent past to write about!

eventually i got fed up (which is rare) and just parked somewhere level. when i got into the back of the truck, i found the internet and the makings of a party happening in the driveway of the house that i had just parked in front of. when i get in the back of the truck, well i am sure its hilarious. i jump in and close the door real quick, pop off my shoes, and then put up the "drapes." the drapes are really just some t-shirts that i put over the windows on the back, and i use my towel to cover the side window. if i am particularly nervous i use my blanket to cover the cab window. but these are makeshift and only mostly work.

sometimes when there is alot of action outside i am just sitting back there freaked out, waiting for someone to knock on my window or for someone to accidentely discover me. once, while i was back there, some people came and started reading and discussing the bumper stickers on the back of my truck, i could see them and hear them, but they had no idea i was there. maybe one day i will talk about the bumper stickers, someone called me racist once because of one of them. that felt bad, i wished they wouldve heard an explanation.

so, the party is happening, more people are pulling up and they are just hanging out in the driveway and that is really shitty for me. i cant move around, and i cant get out, i can just sit there. and if it is dark already, i cant even read. eventually they all went inside and i was the happier for it.

next day, i decided for it to be my free day in kansas city. really, all days can be designated my free day, where i try to visit as many free museums and other places that are free in a day. kc has two art museums and the hallmark greeting card museum. there is also the second largest brewery in missouri here, boulevard brewery, but their tours were all full up. and thats sad, i like brewery tours.

so, first i went up to the riverfront district, just following the map, and tried to sneak into the steamboat museum. i wasnt able to, and i was pretty unhappy at their prices. i love being sneaky, i think of myself as an unassuming sneak and that makes it feel better to me. however, if something is reasonably priced i will pay for it. and a museum like this one, to me, should be about $3. it was in a mall and was only one level. it didnt look very interactive and they didnt even take you on a real steamboat. the price to get in was $12.50 plus tax! RIDICULOUS!

shuttlecock!

anyway, i ate down there and then set off for the art museums. they are situated almost right next to each other and i made the decision to visit the nelson first. and, wow. i have gone to a number of art museums and seen a fair bit of art on this trip but i have never really been a fan of sculpture. until now. the best installation i have ever seen: shuttlecocks. four shuttlecocks 18' tall weighing over 5500 lbs each! the rest of the museum was kind of unspectacular after that experience. however, it was neat to see the sketches and planning notes from the artists that did the shuttlecocks.

okay, i remember now. while i have shuttlecock on the brain, hearken back with me to high school if you will. i was 17, it was my junior year, i beleive this was the year that i wore a suit every single say to school and for some reason people didnt like that. they werent particularly clean suits, but they were hilarious. i laugh about it whenever i think of it, anyway, thats not what we are talking about here. for some class, we split into groups of three and had to make three commercials trying to sell a product. the product could be real or made up, and we had creative license.

even then, i wasnt a huge fan of commercialism and, with my group we decided to make a commercial selling "poo" candy bars, and one selling shuttlecocks. i dont remember the third one. the poo commercial, as i recall, was me sitting on a toilet in a stall and making sounds that could be interpreted as joy...presumably because of my bowel movement. but then, the camera rolls over and looks inside the stall to see me not pooping, but enjoying a melted candy bar with the chocolate smeared on my face. of course, that candy bar was called poo and it was hilarious. i think our tagline was "new poo! better than old poo!" i got a c on that commercial.

the gem here, however, was the shuttlecock commercial. we had a nice camera and a good product, i dont really recall the pitch, but it involves shuttlecock man jumping out of a tree and persuading you to buy his shuttlecocks. i think there was also a scene in a house, but i would have to consult the tapes to be sure. i dont know where these tapes exist any more, however.

after the nelson, i went to the kemper. the kemper, i thought, would be better becasue it was specifically for contemporary art. but it was worse! the contemporary art here was the stuff that is a bunch of circles or lines and then it is art? i wasnt having any of it. the photography wing here was pretty good, except one of the photos was of a regular family picnic, in color, barely blown up. NOT ART! and the worst installation was a "floor piece" where the artist took different shapes and sizes of felt and then laid them on the floor. this is not art to me, this is a messy room.

so, i left there pretty quickly and it was time to keep going on the day! so i charted a course for the hallmark visitors center. i assumed we would get a tour of the facility and such, but no. it was just a little museum detailing the history of the company. kinda boring. one highlight was that they had a stamping machine on display that was in operation, stamping cards and sending them along. i thought it was neat that their museum/visitors center incorporated an aspect of the production.

and then i didnt really have anything to do. it was still early in the day, and i was tired, but wanted to keep going, i hadnt planned to stay in this city much longer, so i wanted to get my experience worth. eventually i parked again and went down to the "power and light" district. it was a place i had driven by a couple times, but didnt really give an indication of what it was. there was a basketball museum down by there that i was going to try to get into. apparently, the inventor of basketball is from near here.

an unflattering image of me in an abandoned parking lot.

no luck over there, so i went into the power and light thing. they were setting up for a concert and i watched that for a moment, checked out some of the bars and then decided that they were way too expensive for me. the concert wasnt set to start for a couple hours so i headed back toward my truck, i could have a beer there and read my book. barely into my first beer, i got a phone call. the call was from a new person in my life, and we chatted for quite awhile. it was a very nice experience. however, i did heavily lubricate myself in the process. over the hour that we talked i consumed 4 beers. and was well on my way to being drunk for the first time since sioux city.

after our chat, i walked back to the power and light district, beer in hand, and was stopped. not by officers, but by a camera crew. the lady came up and asked if she could ask me questions. first i needed to know what we were going to talk about. the first question was about domestic partnerships and what rights that should carry. i knew the answer to this one! so, i gave it, and she liked it. i tried to walk again, but she persisted with another question (i forget it) and then her last one, about the federal reserve. i didnt know the answer to that one, so i just told her that i hope my stocks do well. (and, incidentally they are. i have only lost $30 now!)

the p&l place was happenin now. there was a warmup act and bouncers and everything. i walked around, the beer was still way to expensive. i tried to sweet talk one of the ladies selling the beer, but she wasnt having any of it. i decided that i should eat something and get more beer, then come back. i found a little market and bought some beer and a spot of sushi, then went back to the truck to deposit the beer. i had to devise a way to sneak the beer past the bouncers. i thought about it for a couple of minutes and decided that i didnt need to take much in, i was drunk by now, and the less i took the easier it would be.

i carried one, and then put two into my waistband at the back. i untucked my shirt and covered the beers with the shirt. if you looked, you would see something different, if you didnt look, you wouldnt see anything. i decided to go back in the same entrance as before. it was the closest and the bouncer there just waved me through earlier. by the time i got to them i had only drank about a quarter of the beer in my hand, so i just stood there, about 20 feet in front of the bouncers consuming this beer and trying not to look suspicious.

once done, i made my way to the bouncer and started to walk in. he remembered me and then said "what that you got on your belt." i thought i was made. i thought he saw the beer in my waistband and was toying with me. but i played it off and showed him my bat components. luckily, that was what he meant and after knowing that they were harmless, i was in again. i scurried quickly to the ramp and out of their site. i walked around a bit and was able to get a plastic cup that everyone was drinking out of. once my beer was in that cup, i was no dfferent than anyone else and walked freely...with my head held high. like a cowboy.

hot country nights!

because this concert was part of the hot country nights series, featuring none other than: keith anderson!!! (the crowd goes wild, however i dont know who this is.) after i finished my first beer, the second i made a note to nurse. after it was gone i would still want to drink beer, but not want to walk back to my truck for more. so, i spent my time trying to sneak into the vip section. it was actually surprisingly easy. just a small metal barricade and a guard on one side. i stood on the farside and when the guard was engrossed in conversation with a cop, i slipped right in and just stood on the other side of the barrier for a few moments, in case i was seen i could just blush and walk away.

i was seen, by some kid that was taken by my act. while i was still near the entrance he came up to me and told me that my little act was pretty sweet and he shook my hand. i was happy. i like it when people notice. however, the vip section was pretty boring. the beer wasnt free and the people were out of my league. so i stood in there for awhile, talked with a couple folks and then when my beer was finished decided to just leave.

when i got back to my truck, it was a quick decision to just go straight to the same place i parked the previous night, for the sake of ease. i got there, got in, and slept. yay for a new day!

the adrenaline of getting caught or getting away (is the same)

ah, the thrill of sneaking and snooping i enjoy it so much. seriously, there is nothing better than the heart pumping fear as you round the next corner or dart into the shadows as a painting crew passes by. today i made it to kansas city. the drive in was deceptive, the sign said kansas city 11 miles, and then about 8 miles later the sign said kansas city 11 miles. the kansas/missouri negotiating crew failed on this aspect. at least in sioux city (dont mention the name) the other states had the decency to name their cities south and north sioux city respectively. here just a kansas city on either side of the river.

12th street and "vine"

so, i made it into the city, and my first order of business was to find 12th street and vine. i had been listening to wanda jackson for the past three days straight and setting it to "i'm going to kansas city" more often than the other songs. well, except the song "hot dog" because that is probably the best song i have ever heard. as awkward as it may be, the next time i find myself behind the karaoke mic i will sing that song. anyway, 12th street and vine, where the hell are you? i got onto 12th downtown, as soon as i could, and drove and drove, eventually making it pretty far into what appeared to be the ghetto and deciding that it wasnt further out. i re-examined my map and saw vine just at the edge of the downtown map, however it didnt intersect with vine.

at some point in history vine was renamed to "the paseo" where it crosses 12th and there is some sort of elevated park there, but nothing else that would lead me to beleive it was a key line in a well covered country and blues song. needless to say i was severely disappointed. it was my entry point to a city i had no idea about, that i barely knew existed. so, my entry shot i took a moment to recollect myself. i decided that my second exercise would be to get myself to the top of the tallest building i could.

that plan wasnt ever really executed. i drove around downtown for awhile until i felt i was at the very core, and i parked. there was a nice fountain just across from me and i decided to have a light lunch and read my book for a minute. take in the sweet city smell of this decidedly midwestern city. after my lunch of hummous and crackers, i deposited some of my things back in the truck and set off to climb. but instead of the tallest building i found myself in the marriot hotel. there was a skywalk and i thought that i might connect me to other buildings, also it was hot outside and i wanted some refuge.

i went in and took the escalator to the top, there was some sort of womens clothing show being set up and i walked around there for a couple of minutes, and then to the skywalk and into the other part of the hotel. there wasnt anything happening so i went back. on my second pass i noticed that there was a pizza buffet for the people in the show and no one was around it, so i dipped in and had myself a couple slices of pizza. it wasnt good pizza, but it is hard to turn down free food. especially when i am actually stealing it and i get to feel that adrenaline rush while i wait to be caught or get away. i think those moments might just be the best part of life.

and today was full of them. i left the building after that and walked around downtown more. by now i had forgotten the idea of getting to the top of the tallest building and contented myself with exploring. the next structure i found was the convention center, and there was another skywalk. recalling the convention center in sioux city and the doors it opened for me, i entered and went straight to the adjoining building it was some sort of auditorium and theatre. i was walking around, many of the halls were lightless and it was pretty eerie getting around in there, there was no one else around and all the doors inside were open. i found my way into a little reception hall where all of the tables were set, and then i followed into the staging area for the dishes and bus tables and that is where i found the stairs.

up i went to the next floor, the smell in that stairwell was that of human feces, rotting, so i was quick to get out of there. having not showered for almost a week i smelled bad enough already, no need to add to my disaster. i exited onto stage right, not quite literally but near enough. i was in a little backstage staging area with lights and other effects. i walked from there onto the empty stage.

cables

ah, the stage. if i had a redo of my life i would have been a thespian. i love trying to act, using all of my energy to convince someone or myself that reality isnt real. it is hard and fun. i tried to take some pictures, but they didnt come out. the magic of the stage is something that cannot be caught on film, only recorded in the human memory and stored away as a happy memory. i examined the multitude of cables that would have been used to drop and raise various backgrounds, unfortunately there werent any to drop at the time, elsewise i wouldve tried. i was amazed at how much access i had to this place without there being anyone around.

there were signs of people, however. the floors had paint cloths and supplies laid out, it appeared that the crew painting the doors and trims was out to lunch or something. i left the stage and went to a different stairwell, the next level awaited me. there i started finding the dressing rooms. how awesome! if anyone ever wanted to give me the best thing in the world, they would find a way to get me backstage for a stage production and just be able to see the amount of work people put into the characters they play. i think i would be in heaven, i would smile and unbreakable smile and be able to die happy (i will die happy anyway. i dont even want to say this anymore. strike it! strictly off the record.)

ahem. i was just walking in and out of every single dressing room, trying every door entering and exiting, careful not to step on any wet paint. i got through this floor and went to the next. this would be the fourth floor now. there were less affects from the painting crew here and more, larger dressing rooms. these were the "star" dressing rooms, and they all had their own showers. i think i mentioned earlier how i wanted to take a shower, and here was my opportunity! all i needed was a towel. i started rifling through all of the rooms, looking for a towel. i went back down to the third floor and looked there again, and all for nothing. there wasnt a towel in the building.

i deliberated for a short while and then disrobed.

see, i wrote earlier today about how this whole trip where i am the epitome of free isnt exactly easy and sometimes i long for a "normal" life. well, one of the things that is hard to comprehend is that i just dont have regular access to showers. when i did, i didnt shower everyday and took my access for granted, but now, most days, i want nothing more than to have water coursing down my body and walk away smelling a bit fresher. so, in this life, you take what you can get and this is what i got.

there was a paper towel dispenser outside of the shower and a hand soap dispenser inside the shower, freshly nude, i stepped into the shower. i turned on the water, and the flow wasnt great but it was a flow. i lathered up, pumping that hand soap machine, demanding more than it was giving me and i was content. i wasnt in there for long, but i was pretty fucking happy while i was in there. then i had to get out and towel dry....paper towel dry. to any one that envies me on this trip or thinks that this is the life, try paper toweling yourself dry sometime. not only is it not easy, but it is kind of humiliating. how low has life gotten when you have to paper towel yourself dry, had someone walked in on my i would have felt enormous shame, i am sure.

me, clean

but, i was now clean. and mostly dry. i reclothed and with a huge smile on my face, secret safe, walked back out into the dressing room halls. i felt so proud of myself to have just done it, i felt so sneaky and now had this secret that other people could guess at but no one else would know. again, the best feeling in life. i explored the rest of this floor and then moved up the the fifth. and there i found a curious thing. there has a hand cart with some av cables and two laptop bags strapped to it, the halls were pitch black and there was no one around. luckily, part of my bat belt is a high power flashlight. that came out of its holster and illuminated my way through the dark halls. it was a bit scary, i tried all the doors, they were all locked, then i went back to the bags.

i decided to open them. i dont fancy myself a thief, but if the opportunity is there, i guess that i would take it. as i started unzipping the top back a door slammed. the echoes in the old building made it sound like it was right behind me, but it could have been the first floor stairs door. adrenaline pumping, i ran into the dark hallways and crouched, fancying myself hidden (even though i wasnt behind anything.) i waited to hear the fall of footsteps coming near me, my mind was racing trying to fall upon a suitable story should i be discovered. the list is actually pretty small for being caught crouching in a dark hallway on the fifth floor of a building that you probably shouldnt be in.

then i blanked, there was no sound around me. no one was coming near me. i got up and gingerly stepped back toward the laptop cases. i didnt want to take them off of the rack, and they were proving difficult to peruse as they were. shortly i talked myself out of looking further and contented myself with the knowledge that there were a few more stairs that i could explore. and what did the next set say? ROOF.

holy shit, i love roofs. and, also, how cool is it to descend upon an unknown city and a couple hours later find yourself exploring its rooftops. i took the stairs and tried the door. it opened onto a beautiful day, my hair was still dripping wet and i shook it into the light gust of wind that came into the stairway. i propped the door open and went out. this roof was one of those multi leveled ones, with a number of vertical stairways that are bolted to the building. undeterred, i ascended the one in front of me and on the next roof i had three choices, i chose the tallest of the three (incidentally straight ahead of me) and just kept going deeper and further up. it was amazing.

the rooftops of kansas city

the last time i had explored a roof like this was in portland, perhaps 2004. at some point earlier that year a load of pirate radio equipment had fallen into my hands and i hand to do something with it. at the time i held the knowledge of how to set up the antennae and the computer that would connect to wireless internet and rebroadcast an internet radio station over the fm band. i forget the band, but i sure do remember the trial it was to set that damn thing up. i employed a few friends and shortly before i had to leave for my travels that year i set it up and set it to broadcast. unfortunately i was never able to make sure that it actually worked and when i returned for traveling, i had to take it down and reposition it.

anyway, i was up and just enjoying with as much joy that i held the experience of being where i was. i was just existing so much in the moment and so overwhelmingly pleased with myself that i kind of lost track of time and distance to the door. and when i remembered i started freaking out a bit. i had propped the door wide open, and all it would take is some random person walking by to shut the door and then i would be stranded on the roof. it would be humiliating if i had to phone some authority figure to get me down. so i started booking it back to the door and was relieved to find it as i had left it.

the magic had sort of died after that, and as i descended i heard that the painting crew was back, so i employed some stealth in evading them, even though it probably wasnt necessary. high on my experience i wanted nothing more than to get back to truck, grab my computer and write about my conquest. i didnt want to forget about any of the details, and i really didnt have anything better to do...also, i was getting kind of tired of walking around. i spend most of my day walking aimlessly.

so, i made it back to the truck and of course, there is the mandatory parking ticket. i have given up paying the meters and the tickets, i figure once i get one where ever i am i can use it the rest of the time i am there as a dissuasion from getting more. this morning, in lawrence i got a ticket while i was conjuring my story of the spencer. the fine in lawrence was ridiculously low, so i decided to pay it. it was only $2.00, less than it would be to pay the meter for the day, i am surprised folks dont just take tickets and get free all day parking. however, instead of being a traditionalist, i decided to clean my coin jar of its pennies. i only had about a dollar in pennies and filled the rest with nickels, but the little yellow pouch had quite the bulge by the time it was full. then i went to pay it. there are little yellow boxes attached to some meters that you are supposed to drop your payment in. the slit, however, wasnt quite wide enough for my scheme...i wrestled with it for about ten minutes, but eventually my coins made it into the box. i was proud of myself. the ticket in kc is $28.50...i will not be paying that.

so, i gathered my laptop and went back to the marriott. i stopped back at the pizza buffet and then took the skywalk to the other side of the hotel. i found a nice place to sit and got my computer on. however, if i wanted to connect to the internet i would have to pay. yeah right, i packed up and moved on. in sioux city, i sat in the convention center for wireless, i decided that i would give that a shot here. the convention center was the building i had entered and then quickly exited to the theatre. i walked around in here, again large and empty with plenty of access. i found a large ballroom that was set up for some event and took a seat at the back. i got the computer out and open, but again the wireless was for a fee. i wasnt happy about this, but i had gotten a second wave.

this room i was in was huge and there were a bunch of screens set up and a black drapery to shield whatever is behind those screens. with no one about to restrict me, i went right up and behind there. and it was full of av equipment, and alot of the stuff was loose. i had a mental debate about taking something and selling it, but decided against it. i am not desperate for money and the last thing i need is to get caught doing something that doesnt really benefit me. so i walked on through and then continued to explore the rest of the first floor. all of the escalators to the second floor were poorly blocked, so i just moved the blockage aside and walked up.

up there, was an extra huge hall and exhibit. there was something big happening here, and right now was the set up for it. i put on my "i-belong-here" face and walked on through the half-built exhibits and around all of the stuff. it is amazing how little care people show you when you act like you belong. there was a large sign that said cyber cafe and i started walking toward that. i had adventure to write. eventually i came upon something that appeared to be a science display, but with alcohol. rows and rows of tables that were filled with alcohol and contraptions that the alcohol would travel through...presumably into someones mouth. and thats when i got caught.

an important looking man said to me "may i see your badge?" "i just got here, i havent had a chance to register yet. i was just excited and wanted to have a look around." "this is for women only, you must leave." only after i started walking away did i start to recognize the irony that another man was shooing me away from an all woman event becasue i was a man. but from my vantage i could see the skybridge back to the theatre and i made a course towards it thinking that i might find wireless in there. i had to go down a level, and i found that this wasnt the skybridge i had taken at all, this was some other area of the theatre that i hadnt seen at all on my first pass through.

in this area was a large arena with a stage being built up front and seats all around, it looked like it is normally a college or prep basketball court. i scurried up to the second level and sat in the rows. again, i popped open the laptop to get some internet. NO SUCH LUCK! i was becoming dismayed, and my back was starting to where on my shoulder. i sat and watched these guys work for awhile, and then went on to explore this new part of the theatre. i went out onto the concourse and there were side rooms that i could go into and just amazing little corridors that i could get lost in. it was really fun just winding my way through. kind of like spinning yourself around and around and then trying to get out the door as quick as possible. (although, i dont really know how it is like that...)

eventually i found my way to the concessions area. the metal roll top doors were down, but i gave the people door a turn and i found myself in a dark store room. again, the access i had was amazing. i rifled through there for awhile, employing my flashlight again. i was hoping to find copious amounts of beer or liquor, but i settled for little plastic containers of juice. i loaded up some of them and then decided to get out and deposit them in my truck. i wasnt finding wireless here, time to try a different direction.

i got to the truck quick and on my way i saw another hotel. i deposited my loot and then set off for the next hotel. there, again, i had to pay for wireless. but this track i was on was promising, just another block up i could see yet another hotel. this one was my jackpot! i got inside and found a nice seat and was overjoyed to find the internet staring up at me. immediately i started jotting before my memory betrayed me. i think it took me about one third of the time to type it all up as it did for me to experience it. oh well.

dont believe the hype.

ah, kansas. i want to be honest and up front about this. i dont like dogs very much. there are at least two, however, that i have been known to like in my life. one of them bore the name kansas and came from this state, perhaps even the town i am currently in, lawrence. as i am apt to do, i am ahead of myself.

ah, nebraska. it was raining when i left omaha, i didnt want to get out of my truck in the morning, but i had little else to do. omaha was starting to not be any fun (as if it ever were) and i was ready for something new. and, since i have already broken this up once, let me take this time to relate that this trip isnt the easiest thing ever. it sounds like a dream to just be constantly traveling and always be able to do whatever you want. it sounds like the thing you want to do when you are a kid and havent forgotten yet that the entire world is open to you.

right now, every day, i have to get up and figure out what to do in a brand new world where i dont know anyone. i dont have any refuge. i want to sometimes just sit on the couch and watch a movie, or have the ease of routine to get me through the day. all that easy life stuff is shattered here. here, being this life that i am currently leading. ack. so, even though i am leading a life of freedom, it isnt easy and isnt always desirable. it isnt really anythign to envy. it is just another thing to do, some people work in an office all week (my dream, seriously) and some people have to work outside. blah, blah, back to the rote.

ah, topeka. i eventually did get out of my truck and pretty quickly jumped on the road south to topeka. it had been my plan to go straight to kansas city, but i consulted the map and topeka was the capital and it was on a line leading to kc that had lawrence in the middle, i had heard so much about lawrence i wanted to go there. the drive south was not memorable, meaning that i dont remember any of it. i dont think i had to stop at all and it was raining, so i just kept going and eventually i was falling upon topeka.

again, a place i have never been, never even really heard of and certainly do not know anyone or anything that i could get up to. as per usual, i went straight to the capitol. generally they have some information there and free things, tours, what-have-you. and i like the buildings, if i were more of a planner and disliked the government less it might be a goal to see all of the state capitol buildings, but right now i am just playing it by ear. or whatever word works when you are driving.

the capitol building was under construction, apparently for a long time. i parked on the far side, where the street was closed and maids would be less likely to check the meter. i walked around the building, in a light rain, until i found the entracne. in i went. immediately i was met with a construction site, scaffolding, broken marble and the most hilarious straight-out-of-the-comic-book tornado shelter ever. i wanted to walk down into it, but it didnt look as if i were allowed to, and capitol buildings are places where i am generally weary. i dont fit the mold and dont really want to be accosted.

i walked around the construction and eventually found the visitor booth, it was heavily staffed, about 5 people behind the desk, and maybe 10 people looking at all of the goods available for purchase. i took a free postcard. and then i waited for the next tour to start, about ten minutes. the crowd of consumers filtered away and all that was left was me and the 5 or so people working. they got to chatting amongst themselves and when the tour time came around, no one popped up to make it happen. they just kept on back there and i was sitting outside like a dummy. eventually, someone peered from around the corner and inquired if the tour was starting here, and then impatiently looked at his watch.

that roused the workers and shortly after the tour started. it was just four of us. me, an older couple and (forgive the language) a country bumpkin. he was hilarious, of indeterminate middle age, wearing overalls and worn boots, talked with a slow drawl and constantly asked questions. we learned about the capitol building and then some about kansas history. there are some very amazing murals up in the capitol building and i would recommend for people to see them if they are able. also, kansas is very proud to be a free state. at some point, 1860 maybe, a number of state leaders got together and decided that kansas would join the union as a free state, and they would fight against slavery. one of the folks who has his name emblazoned on the wall of the hall of representatives is john brown. i thought that was interesting, i know john browns history is more complicated than we are led to beleive, but it was still neat.

also, on the second floor of the building there is a library, and it was really neat. the library has three levels inside of it that are connected via spiral staricase, and the floors of the second and third story are made of glass. i was listening to the lady talk, she said that it was almost all original and it was dont like that to take advantage of natural light filtering through. i was impressed already, and then we went up there! i was gingerly stepping on the glass, waiting for it to break through, but it didnt. i guess it wouldve been pretty strange for it to break after 150 years, just bearing my weight. i enjoyed being up there but appreciated it more from below.

then i was pretty much done there. i didnt go up to the dome, i wouldve had to wait another half hour for the next tour and wasnt really up for that, so i left. and outside, the world had changed. it was raining much heavier now and i just didnt want to do anything else. the downtown didnt look very promising and i was feeling a bit depressed, so i just sat in the back of my truck and listened to the rain patter as i watched a movie. when that finished i still had nothing to do. so i decided to drive to lawrence. it was only 20 miles away and might hold a few more gems than this capitol.

the road there was unspectacular, more two lane highway/farm road and quickly i was in a new city. and when i got there i was still not really feeling the day, but i found the downtown rather easily and parked. it was raining heavy still, but i figured that it might be just the thing i needed. i got out to explore. there wasnt really much happening in the rain, many of the shops were closed and it was kind of eerie. many of the shops were sports oriented, and then there were restaurants and a few bars. i walked down a couple blocks and then back up and eventually decided to get a burrito and finish my book.

by the time i had accomplished that it was time to start looking for my parking spot for the night. i hadnt driven around the city much, but this being a college town it was pretty easy to find what i was looking for. this night, i was expecting a phone call. it is wierd, when for four years you talk a person every single day and then all of a sudden they arent there anymore. the call came from emily, my partner. we hadnt spoken since i was in tucson, az over a month ago and it was only the third time we had talked to eack other in the two plus months i have been on this trip. we talked for 41 minutes, there are still things to be resolved and i dont know what my future holds.

then someone pulled up behind me and started opening and closing their doors. i as uncomfortable and had to get off the phone because i kept checking the windows and talking in hushed tones. getting caught sucks. after a while those people left. unfortunately my night woes continued and i slept fitfully through the storm, waking up in the middle of the night, but i didnt recall any dreams that i had. when it came time to actually get up i was feeling better about this day and set off to start it. i wanted to find the college and explore in there, maybe find a nice place to have a shower or something.

finding the college in this college town proved more difficult that i imagined. i drove around for so long looking for it, but i was just going past frat houses and neighborhoods. i consulted the map over and over and eventually decided to just go out to the mainest of streets that went through the college and drive into the heart of it. along the way i found the food co-op. yay! i had been thinking about resuming the master cleanse, so i wanted to have on had the few things i would need. instead i just bought some cayenne pills, thinking that they might aid me. then i continued down the street, into the heart of the college.

and this college was huge! kansas university. let me take this moment to relay how absolutely terrified i am of college, mostly the students. i guess i will relay a few college stories from my life right now, might as well. my memory serves me as such: when i was like 8 or something my mom drove me by this small college near where i grew up and she said that that was where i would go to college, and that i would be the first person in my family to attend college. it turned out to be some christian/catholic/god school of some sort that i would never ever dream of even stepping foot on. anyhow, i didnt attend. when i graduated high school my dad told me that he would pay for me to go to college if i wanted to, but if i didnt go now, that he wouldnt pay for it later. i opted against attending.

my reasoning, perhaps not so defined at the time, was that i was terrified of the people. i had always been a bit different, the people i went to school with, i was always a bit of a social outcast. even though everyone knew who i was and i was popular by notoriety. i helped publish some underground newspaper, and people thought i grew pot in my car. anyway, people my own age were not the people i wanted to associate with, and certainly not the people that had been in my life up til now, there had to be something different or better. so i moved away instead.

when i was in boston in 2004 a professor at boston university asked a friend of mine and me to lecture his class about independent media and activism, i was absolutely terrified. i was 24 and these people were my own age and i was supposed to tell them something! i was sweating and babbling through it, luckily my friend was much better at wading through the college crowd. we got paid $100. a majority of those earnings were spent at a restaurant called the "pu-pu hot pot," our favorite restaurant in cambridge...no joke. and then, in portland, i decided to take my first college course. it wasnt really that scary or anything, but it also wasnt very fun. i suppose it is different when you live on campus and your whole life revolves around this series of buildings. anyway, it is strange to me, and something that i am still trying to be comfortable with.

so, here i am at ku. i drove around the campus for a long time looking for free parking, but it didnt exist, so i found a side street just off campus, parked and walked in. there wasnt much going on, just construction. i wound my way through the streets and paths to the art museum, the spencer. i was happy for that place. it is a free museum and had some really good exhibits. when i first walked in i was confronted with a projected image of a native lady dancing, then the image switched to another day and her dancing another stye. for 30 days she learned a new dancing style each day, the idea behind it was to remove the typecast of natives and show diversity in the culture. i didnt really understand that, but thats what the card said.

moving on, old art, boring stuff. what i dont get about art museums is how much of the artwork revolves around jesus christ. i mean, jesus! enough already. my outlook is that i have seen it before, i admire that these pieces have withstood time, but i am really more interested it works that depict odd or outlandish aspects of ancient life or modern life for that matter. the special exhibit on the main floor was hilarious.

it was another video, this one a black and white film in three parts in the style of 1950's movie/modern day soap opera. the protagonist, a large black woman with a huge gap in her teeth is played by the artist dressed in drag. the film, to me, really isnt museum art, but i enjoyed it. it was a love triangle with a twist and the themes and images certainly were not appropriate for a museum. i sat and watched all of it and laughed numerous times. the queen of assholes. then i went to the next floor and there were more old/boring art exhibits and another special exhibit, and this one i appreciated very much.

to me, the exhibit was set up to put the male body into accurate perspective and serve as a conversation about the myths behind the sexual image of man to the world. what i dont like about stuffy old museums is that they are very open about portraying the female form at all times, but the male form is often restricted, the penis specifically is censored or artwork depicting the penis is not considered worthy to hang on walls. to me, that censorship has allowed myths about men and their junk to persist through time, making men insecure about their bodies and often times making up for that by being tough guys and disowning their feelings.

blah blah blah.

this exhibit, to me, broke down some barriers. and the necessity for these barriers to be broken down was exemplified by me being the only person in this wing, viewing this exhibit. some people came to the edges and saw the disclaimer peeked inside and turned away. what this exhibit brings up, the conversations, arent ones that people generally want to have. they are uncomfortable, and that is precisely why they need to be discussed so we can become more comfortable with male genitalia, nudity in general and the fact that every body is different and beautiful just because it exists, media myths of beuaty that are perpetuated and borne into our minds as children need to be broken.

because i still ascribe to these myths and because i am still not entirely comfortable with my body is the reason i appreciate these types of displays. /rant, i guess. through a couple of halls the art depicting the male form throughout history, it was graphic, and true to life. one that i particularly enjoyed was a media mogul that had commissioned a series of himself nude in unflattering poses to show how age has shaped his body. anyway, i was happy for this exhibit, end.

then i left the museum and walked around the campus more, was dismayed at the security that the athletic center boasted. i wasnt able to get myself in and enjoy a dip in the pool or a run through the shower. the sky turned an ominous dark grey as if dementors were coming down upon this small city, so i decided to get back to my truck and wait out the storm. i sat in there and read for a bit then watched another movie. once the storm passed over i had to get back out and do something. i decided to find a park and read for a bit.

after that, which didnt last long, i decided to go back to the downtown area and see if more shops were open. the sun was back out and it was still early enough. i saw that some more shops were opened and decided to stop again and walk. i dropped a few post cards off at the mailbox, thus depleting my store of postcards. i need to build it back up. mostly, walking around, i went into bookstores. i am in a desperate search for a couple of books that i cannot seem to find anywhere. borders (ack) doesnt even carry the author of the books, and powells doesnt have the books listed online. they are both out, but perhaps only in britain, which sucks.

when i got to the far end of downtown, i noticed something that escaped me coming into town: a river. i love rivers. and bridges, and water fowl...but not foul water! what a bad joke. i dont even actually like water fowl, i only wrote it for the joke. jesus! so, i walked across the bridge and the river is a mini hydro-electric plant which was cute. then i walked on down to the riverfront hotel to see if there was a possibility of getting into the pool and jacuzzi, again no such luck. dismayed i went on back to the downtown and my truck. i didnt have anything else to do, so i went back to my truck and decided that i would go to the coop and get some supplies then find a place to sleep.

i ended up parking where i had stopped during the day, i ate the morsels the coop supplied me and then read my book some more. i watched half of a movie but wasnt really interested so i tried sleeping. again, a night of fitful sleep this time i had a dream about someone accosting me and i enjoyed it. we will see how it plays out in real life. i kept waking up through the night again and was unhappy about it, eventually i was up at 6:am and just read my book and tooled around the internet until my computer died. but i wanted more computer time, so i decided to start my day at a coffee shop.

coffee is not a regular drink for me, i used to be addicted to it and gave it up cold turkey about a year ago (maybe less than that, but i dont really remember). on this trip i have had coffee a couple times, but today is was mostly to sit at the coffee shop and type away while searching the web high on caffeine. now, wired, i think i can safely set my course towards kansas city. kc looks huge and i am not entirely excited about going there. i think i have been building st louis up too much in my mind.

will it never end!

jesus. bye, omaha. ever since my encounters in sioux city i have been less apt to write. i think part of it is becasue each time i open my computer and see it broken, my mind hearkens back to my night there and i shudder. and then i shake my head, do my internet things and close the lid.

anyway, upon leaving sioux city, unceremoniously, i went south toward omaha. i had built omaha up in my head, but failed to do any research on it before i arrived. instead i just put on my commander venus cd and let the music carry me there. i wasnt entirely pleased when i first got there.

the outlying areas were similar to when i came up to sioux city, no large suburbs, just farms and then a city. the city looked large though, it had two big buildings and that gave me some hope. but when i got up into the city streets, it was empty again and there werent any shops or clear areas to go and enjoy oneself. so i drove and zig-zagged through the city streets and was thoroughly displeased with the lack of a real city.

eventually i decided to park and go to the big buildings, i wanted to get to the top of one and look out across the city, perhaps that would aid my search. i went to the bigger of the two first. i sneaked around and got into all of the areas that i could, but i was able to get very far, i got to the 6th floor of the parking garage and then went to the security desk to ask if they had an observation deck that i could go to. no such luck, he told me that the other building, the woodmen, had an observation deck.

cool, i thought. i walked to the next building and this time i just walked right up and asked to go to the observation deck, since i knew it existed. he kind of laughed at me and told me to take the elevator to the 5th floor, that was the observation deck! what a joke. but, at least i got on the elevator, the other building had the elevators blocked unless you had a key card.

so, up i went, all the way to the fifth floor. it was a cafeteria with a large window that looked at city hall or some type of government building. it wasnt very spectacular, so i went back to the elevator and went to the 28th floor. that was the top for me, i got out and it was a lush red hallway with huge oak doors that led to the offices of lawyers. none were open and the stairwell cautioned those who dared to open it that an alarm would follow them. so i ducked into the bathroom.

and how cool! the bathroom had a shower in it! i made a mental note to come back here before i left and have a shower on the 28th floor of the woodmen building in omaha. unfortunately, i never followed through with that.

done there, i went back down told the guard that the observation deck wasnt very exciting and then left to walk around. you know, in cities like new york or chicago, or (gasp) portland, when you walk around downtown there are things. like, stores you can walk into or food carts on the streets, buses, etc. i guess what i am talking about is bustle. in a real city there is bustle going on around you. here, not so much. no shops, few people, no buses or bustle. but i trudged on and walked and walked, desperately determined to find something.

and eventually i did. the joslyn art museum. it was a beautiful pink marble building next to a high school and across from a 16 story vacant building. i was starting to see potential in this place. see, i expected omaha to be like portland, because of the music scene. but i saw no traces of that. after i got some info from the art museum, i decided to find omaha's sleater-kinney road.

the band sleater-kinney takes its name from a road in lacey, washington, just outside of olympia. the record label saddle creek takes its name from a road in omaha. i found it on the map and went to it. i was expecting some kind of indie rock mecca...or at least a transformation in that direction, but nope. think 82nd ave in portland, thats what i found. i was dismayed. then i drove back downtown becasue i had passed something while driving that i wanted to explore more.

the front of the mall

it was a park, right downtown, that had a real nice water feature. the park was called the "gene leahy mall" and i had no idea what i was getting myself into. i parked at it and got out. i figured it would just be a park but i was mistaken. it was more like an urban mecca. it stretches from downtown to the missouri river, it is kind of like its own little river in the city. it starts with a waterfall down to a concrete pool, there are concrete steps throughout the pool for you to get around on. then it opens up into a little pond area with a bunch of people and animals enjoying themselves.

there were a couple of bridges that went across, some islands, and a lot of art. i walked until it hit the freeway and then some more. it opened into a larger lake that butted up against the world headquarters of con-agra, which was kind of disgusting but con agra probably paid for much of the creation of this space. there was a fountain in the middle that boasted shooting water 300' in the air, gondola rides, and some historic markers. it was really quite enjoyable. i walked on a bridge to the banks of the missouri river and when i felt i had gotten all of it i started walking back. i went slow, reading my book along the way.

when i had gotten back i was ready to start looking for a place to rest. the sun wasnt ready, but i was. so i started driving around again, found a grocery store and with my supplies i started looking for a place that had wireless and i could shack up at right now. i shouldve recognized before i got in the back, but i was parked in the ghetto. i wasnt too concerned, i put up my shades and went on reading my book until the sun went down, then used the internet for awhile and watched a movie. for some reason, i couldnt get to sleep.

eventually i woke up, i wasnt entirely rested but i was up. and today i would be able to go to the art museum for real. today was free day. i went again to the grocery store, used the internet for a minute and then went to the museum. i enjoy going to to museums, places where people are quiet and respectful of these things around them that no one ever truly understands. i walked around the museum for awhile and it wasnt very great. it was beautiful inside and i appreciated the history of it, but i like contemporary art more so than fine art. but, eventually i found the tiny wing of contemporary art and appreciated it. there were some nice things in there, but i am glad i didnt have to pay to see them.

the internet showed me a few more things that i could do in this city, so i started to capitalize on them, but first i needed to find a walmart. i am not a regular walmart shopper but the internet told me that i could see a baseball game for free tomorrow if i brought in a can of "our family" brand food. someone at the hy-vee store told me that "our family" was walmart's generic brand. i found one and went into it. i looked on the shelves but saw no "our family" then i asked someone. this worker told me that "our family" was not the walmart generic brand, but he was pretty sure that it was supr-savr's generic brand. and he told me that i could find that store at 148th and Q.

now, that was far from where i was, but i was determined. i got into my truck and was ready to go the 100 blocks to this other store that may be the one i want. and then i had an aha! moment and looked online. what i found dismayed me. there werent any stores in nebraska that sold "our family" brand. i read through the list a couple times and then gave up on it, no baseball for me tomorrow. after that i moved to my next destination: old world market.

something i like about omaha is the cobblestone streets. i am going to see more of that soon, but it is just something that is rare on the west coast...at least i havent seen it for a very long time. and in my mind east coast cities have more of it. and these midwest cities flaunt it, they have to flaunt something. the old world market was something i read about, just a tourist trap that had a bunch of stores in a small area and used the kitschy cobble stone streets as a draw. i enjoyed it there. there were street performers, a bunch of random folks, shops that i could look at and crowds. really i just like crowds sometimes, where i can just melt into the scenery and not feel like the center of the universe.

i walked around there for a bit and then went back to the leahy mall to read some more. my next adventure was a concert in the park. the park was called the "lewis and clark landing" but the map showed it as part of the gene leahy mall. so, book in hand, i walked back to the end of the mall and i did find a corridor that i had previously overlooked. i took it and after 10-15 blocks i was at the missouri river where a band was warming up on a concrete pad. and in the distance a nice looking bridge. it was like a traction beam.

but wait. there was something strange going on, becasue omaha wasnt very metropolitan and it didnt seem very bike friendly, but there were thousands of cyclists about. literally. i needed to know what was going on, but it would be a bit before i got some answers. these cyclists werent very friendly.

i walked into the band area and listened to some of the music, but instead of being in the park it was on a concrete pad and there was no shade or seats, so i pushed on towards that bead of gold in the sky. and still cyclists all around, i ventured to ask one or two, but they either ignored me or rode on by. when i got closer to the bridge and they became denser i was able to discern the tags they were wearing: ragbrai. that didnt mean anything to me and i was kind of forgetting about it as i ascended the bridge. i was happy to learn that it was a new bridge that was pedestrian/cyclist only, it linked omaha to council bluffs, iowa.

the bridge curves!

while i was on the bridge i was finally able to talk to a nice older lady about why they were all here. apparently ragbrai is some sort of race across the state of iowa. people started the next day and left from that bridge area and would ride the 400-odd miles across the state in 7 days or less. i was jealous.

i walked across and back then to the stage area, listened some more and then i was done with it. i was ready to go find a place to sleep becasue i was leaving tomorrow and nothing was going to stop me. until i started driving and came across a bag n save grocery store. i was pretty sure that i remembered it on the list and i stopped in. sure enough, they had "our family" brand goods, so i purchased a can a set my next day into motion. something that i desperately needed to do, however, was laundry. i beleive the last time i did it was when i left colorado springs, and now i was out of underwear.

my previous plan was to stop in some tiny town on the way south the next day, but now i had something to do, so i drove and found a place that was in an okay neighborhood and looked like a decent place to spend two hours. i pulled in, but they had just called the last load. i decided i would do it in the morning and just find somewhere to sleep around here. luckily i didnt have to go far. just two blocks away i found a nice place that had wireless and crawled in back to read until the sun went down and then use the internet and go to sleep. but this night i was having more trouble sleeping. i kept waking up like it was time to start my day, but it was only 1:am, then 3 then 5. eventually i made it until almost 8, when the laundromat opened. i got up and readied myself and went for the laundry score.

not only did i need to do laundry, but i needed to clean the back of my truck, it was getting disgusting back there. i took in my loads, i had my clothes and then my bed things, and started them up. i came back out and the work began. i had to pull out everything that was on or around the bed, then sort it and reorganize it. the bookshelf was becoming disorderly and many of the books were falling around while i was driving, i had to rearrange them. then i had to sweep out the bed and combine some things into hidden away containers. it was tedious work but i felt much better about it. when the clothes started being dry i was finished and i sat inside reading until it was all done.

then i had nothing to do for some hours until the baseball game started. i pondered my future and eventually just decided to drive to the stadium and see what was in that part of town until the game started. i got there pretty fast, but then was eaten alive by traffic to get into the parking lot. i wiped my brow and congratulated myself on making a good decision. but then i noticed people werent actually here this early for the baseball game, they were trying to get into the zoo! i was able to get good parking and then walk around the ballpark for a bit. then i retired to my truck and read some more until the game was closer to begin.

baseball. hm. the last baseball game i went to was a seattle mariners game back in 2000. incidentally, that was also the only time i have to seattle. i had gotten those tickets from my friend frank brunner and through some line of communication made a date with a lovely young lady whose name i cannot recall and she drove us up there to enjoy the game. we left after a couple of innings because what is the point of staying? then we went to an all night coffee shop and talked for a couple of hours. she was joining the navy and loved her country, i wasnt and didnt really at the time. we didnt see each other again. but it was a nice date, i think it was the only real date that i went on while i lived in olympia.

anyway, this day i didnt have a date. and i still didnt like baseball, but i though i would give it a shot. i made it in and found my seat. the rosenblatt stadium in omaha is the largest minor league baseball stadium in the circuit. for that reason the college world series is held there every year and i shold hope they fill all of the seats. for this day, the seats were not all filled. not even close. i was ushered into a general admission seat that wasnt very good, but i sat there for awhile. then i realized i didnt have to any longer so i went all the way to the front with no argument.

i sat up there until the sun had won the battle, about ten minutes, then moved back into the shady area but still closer than where the usher sat me. the game was interesting at first. in the first inning there were four broken bats. and it seemed like the teams were evenly matched. but then the other team hit a home run. then another, and all of a sudden it was 5 to 0. then nothing happened for awhile. then i left, i was so bored. and i am not even sure what i did next. but eventually i went back to sleep in the same place as the night before.

and again, thrid night in a row (all in omaha) bad stuff. this time, though, i remember some of my dream. not much but i was at a party, it was kind of upscale, but there were alot of people i knew there. at some point there was like a marsh with a bridge over it (we were still all inside) and there was a dead alligator there. for whatever reason, i wanted to get a piece of the alligator to take with me, so i got down close to it and started surveying. i looked at the tail and the feet, the scales on the back, but i couldnt decide what piece i wanted.

then aaron comes up and says that he will get me a piece. in the rumble of him coming over with his machete and me trying to stop him, i fall into the marsh. aaron chops off the foot of the alligator and then it comes alive, the alligator...and now i am in the marsh. i start freaking out and trying to scramble out of the marsh, but i cannot get myself onto the bridge, the alligator is coming

kansas capitol

for me and just before he gets me i jump out. then i run outside and the alligator is chasing me. there are people sitting on the railings and i yell at them "alligators can jump and get you" i jump over the railing and start climbing the walls, trying to get as high as i can.

whoever was sitting on the railing didnt believe me and the alligator jumped and got him. at this point i woke up and it was still pitch black outside, and i was not happy. why am i dreaming about alligators, and why cant i sleep in omaha. i was happy when the morning came becasue finally i was leaving this place. i got up and dressed, went to the front and checked out the map and then i put on wanda jackson and made my road stretch towards kansas city. (but i am only in topeka right now, i probably wont get to kc for a couple more days...)