hot country night or how i learned to leave kansas city.

yesterday was a fun day. the main reason i came to kansas city is because of the song "i'm going to kansas city" i heard it on a disc i have and then decided that i too would go to kansas city. maybe there was some magic there if such a song was written and recorded by a number of people. as already covered, the main lyric/object of my desire was 12th street and vine. the secondary was "they got some crazy little women there, i'ma gonna get me one."

this weekend, the places i sneaked into the other day, everything happening here is for an all lady conference about silpada. now, i am not entirely sure what silpada is but an internet search suggested it was some sort of jewelery design company based in kansas. yesterday was the inaugural day of the conference, this city is swarming with crazy little women, at least that part of the song continued to ring true.

at least the sleeping is getting better. but my truck isnt. i am currently a jumble, this will be a piecemeal post. so, when i was looking for a place to sleep the other night, it was impossible. i drove around for almost an hour looking for a spot. and when i am looking it is for a couple of things: 1, the internet; 2, level ground; 3, somewhat hidden, like between two houses and there is a tree or something. anyway, the neighborhoods i was in were not offereing any of those things and as i drove my truck kept making new and discouraging death rattles. i know that people drive cars that make all sorts of strange/loud/bad noises and those vehicles continue for a long time.

these noises just make me nervous. what is the next step of this journey? when the truck breaks down and i cannot afford to fix it what then? settle where i am like i used to and take what comes? go back to portland? really, what i what to do when that happens is sell the truck for as much as i can, a couple hundred dollars at least, and then buy a bike and some panniers and head south. second verse same as the first. a whole lot slower, and probably whole lot better. anyway, enough speculation on my future, i have the recent past to write about!

eventually i got fed up (which is rare) and just parked somewhere level. when i got into the back of the truck, i found the internet and the makings of a party happening in the driveway of the house that i had just parked in front of. when i get in the back of the truck, well i am sure its hilarious. i jump in and close the door real quick, pop off my shoes, and then put up the "drapes." the drapes are really just some t-shirts that i put over the windows on the back, and i use my towel to cover the side window. if i am particularly nervous i use my blanket to cover the cab window. but these are makeshift and only mostly work.

sometimes when there is alot of action outside i am just sitting back there freaked out, waiting for someone to knock on my window or for someone to accidentely discover me. once, while i was back there, some people came and started reading and discussing the bumper stickers on the back of my truck, i could see them and hear them, but they had no idea i was there. maybe one day i will talk about the bumper stickers, someone called me racist once because of one of them. that felt bad, i wished they wouldve heard an explanation.

so, the party is happening, more people are pulling up and they are just hanging out in the driveway and that is really shitty for me. i cant move around, and i cant get out, i can just sit there. and if it is dark already, i cant even read. eventually they all went inside and i was the happier for it.

next day, i decided for it to be my free day in kansas city. really, all days can be designated my free day, where i try to visit as many free museums and other places that are free in a day. kc has two art museums and the hallmark greeting card museum. there is also the second largest brewery in missouri here, boulevard brewery, but their tours were all full up. and thats sad, i like brewery tours.

so, first i went up to the riverfront district, just following the map, and tried to sneak into the steamboat museum. i wasnt able to, and i was pretty unhappy at their prices. i love being sneaky, i think of myself as an unassuming sneak and that makes it feel better to me. however, if something is reasonably priced i will pay for it. and a museum like this one, to me, should be about $3. it was in a mall and was only one level. it didnt look very interactive and they didnt even take you on a real steamboat. the price to get in was $12.50 plus tax! RIDICULOUS!

shuttlecock!

anyway, i ate down there and then set off for the art museums. they are situated almost right next to each other and i made the decision to visit the nelson first. and, wow. i have gone to a number of art museums and seen a fair bit of art on this trip but i have never really been a fan of sculpture. until now. the best installation i have ever seen: shuttlecocks. four shuttlecocks 18' tall weighing over 5500 lbs each! the rest of the museum was kind of unspectacular after that experience. however, it was neat to see the sketches and planning notes from the artists that did the shuttlecocks.

okay, i remember now. while i have shuttlecock on the brain, hearken back with me to high school if you will. i was 17, it was my junior year, i beleive this was the year that i wore a suit every single say to school and for some reason people didnt like that. they werent particularly clean suits, but they were hilarious. i laugh about it whenever i think of it, anyway, thats not what we are talking about here. for some class, we split into groups of three and had to make three commercials trying to sell a product. the product could be real or made up, and we had creative license.

even then, i wasnt a huge fan of commercialism and, with my group we decided to make a commercial selling "poo" candy bars, and one selling shuttlecocks. i dont remember the third one. the poo commercial, as i recall, was me sitting on a toilet in a stall and making sounds that could be interpreted as joy...presumably because of my bowel movement. but then, the camera rolls over and looks inside the stall to see me not pooping, but enjoying a melted candy bar with the chocolate smeared on my face. of course, that candy bar was called poo and it was hilarious. i think our tagline was "new poo! better than old poo!" i got a c on that commercial.

the gem here, however, was the shuttlecock commercial. we had a nice camera and a good product, i dont really recall the pitch, but it involves shuttlecock man jumping out of a tree and persuading you to buy his shuttlecocks. i think there was also a scene in a house, but i would have to consult the tapes to be sure. i dont know where these tapes exist any more, however.

after the nelson, i went to the kemper. the kemper, i thought, would be better becasue it was specifically for contemporary art. but it was worse! the contemporary art here was the stuff that is a bunch of circles or lines and then it is art? i wasnt having any of it. the photography wing here was pretty good, except one of the photos was of a regular family picnic, in color, barely blown up. NOT ART! and the worst installation was a "floor piece" where the artist took different shapes and sizes of felt and then laid them on the floor. this is not art to me, this is a messy room.

so, i left there pretty quickly and it was time to keep going on the day! so i charted a course for the hallmark visitors center. i assumed we would get a tour of the facility and such, but no. it was just a little museum detailing the history of the company. kinda boring. one highlight was that they had a stamping machine on display that was in operation, stamping cards and sending them along. i thought it was neat that their museum/visitors center incorporated an aspect of the production.

and then i didnt really have anything to do. it was still early in the day, and i was tired, but wanted to keep going, i hadnt planned to stay in this city much longer, so i wanted to get my experience worth. eventually i parked again and went down to the "power and light" district. it was a place i had driven by a couple times, but didnt really give an indication of what it was. there was a basketball museum down by there that i was going to try to get into. apparently, the inventor of basketball is from near here.

an unflattering image of me in an abandoned parking lot.

no luck over there, so i went into the power and light thing. they were setting up for a concert and i watched that for a moment, checked out some of the bars and then decided that they were way too expensive for me. the concert wasnt set to start for a couple hours so i headed back toward my truck, i could have a beer there and read my book. barely into my first beer, i got a phone call. the call was from a new person in my life, and we chatted for quite awhile. it was a very nice experience. however, i did heavily lubricate myself in the process. over the hour that we talked i consumed 4 beers. and was well on my way to being drunk for the first time since sioux city.

after our chat, i walked back to the power and light district, beer in hand, and was stopped. not by officers, but by a camera crew. the lady came up and asked if she could ask me questions. first i needed to know what we were going to talk about. the first question was about domestic partnerships and what rights that should carry. i knew the answer to this one! so, i gave it, and she liked it. i tried to walk again, but she persisted with another question (i forget it) and then her last one, about the federal reserve. i didnt know the answer to that one, so i just told her that i hope my stocks do well. (and, incidentally they are. i have only lost $30 now!)

the p&l place was happenin now. there was a warmup act and bouncers and everything. i walked around, the beer was still way to expensive. i tried to sweet talk one of the ladies selling the beer, but she wasnt having any of it. i decided that i should eat something and get more beer, then come back. i found a little market and bought some beer and a spot of sushi, then went back to the truck to deposit the beer. i had to devise a way to sneak the beer past the bouncers. i thought about it for a couple of minutes and decided that i didnt need to take much in, i was drunk by now, and the less i took the easier it would be.

i carried one, and then put two into my waistband at the back. i untucked my shirt and covered the beers with the shirt. if you looked, you would see something different, if you didnt look, you wouldnt see anything. i decided to go back in the same entrance as before. it was the closest and the bouncer there just waved me through earlier. by the time i got to them i had only drank about a quarter of the beer in my hand, so i just stood there, about 20 feet in front of the bouncers consuming this beer and trying not to look suspicious.

once done, i made my way to the bouncer and started to walk in. he remembered me and then said "what that you got on your belt." i thought i was made. i thought he saw the beer in my waistband and was toying with me. but i played it off and showed him my bat components. luckily, that was what he meant and after knowing that they were harmless, i was in again. i scurried quickly to the ramp and out of their site. i walked around a bit and was able to get a plastic cup that everyone was drinking out of. once my beer was in that cup, i was no dfferent than anyone else and walked freely...with my head held high. like a cowboy.

hot country nights!

because this concert was part of the hot country nights series, featuring none other than: keith anderson!!! (the crowd goes wild, however i dont know who this is.) after i finished my first beer, the second i made a note to nurse. after it was gone i would still want to drink beer, but not want to walk back to my truck for more. so, i spent my time trying to sneak into the vip section. it was actually surprisingly easy. just a small metal barricade and a guard on one side. i stood on the farside and when the guard was engrossed in conversation with a cop, i slipped right in and just stood on the other side of the barrier for a few moments, in case i was seen i could just blush and walk away.

i was seen, by some kid that was taken by my act. while i was still near the entrance he came up to me and told me that my little act was pretty sweet and he shook my hand. i was happy. i like it when people notice. however, the vip section was pretty boring. the beer wasnt free and the people were out of my league. so i stood in there for awhile, talked with a couple folks and then when my beer was finished decided to just leave.

when i got back to my truck, it was a quick decision to just go straight to the same place i parked the previous night, for the sake of ease. i got there, got in, and slept. yay for a new day!