this is all about who i was an hour ago, everything changes so fast.

for all effective purposes this trip is now over. yesterday i celebrated nine months on the road, and i drove into the state of oregon, which means that i am home. at least in my home state, all of the license plates look like mine now. it rained as i entered the state and it even felt like home. i had half a mind to just drive all of last night and be in portland for a couple of days before i even told anyone.

just to be fair, i didnt do that. i am in grants pass. night driving is not something i do well, with all the lights behind me i cant see what is in front of me and since my truck has been crumbling slowly it becomes harder to push it blindly into the darkness. i tried stopping in ashland, but the place was very happening on a sunday night and everything was closed. so i mulled over my options, really i just wanted to coffee shop that was open late to sit at and write these diatribes that have been building, but no such luck. i even considered going to the starbucks, but it was closing in a half hour.

so i pushed north and thought about pulling off into medford before i convinced myself to just drive until i got to eugene. obviously i didnt convince myself of this becasue about ten minutes later i pulled off into grants pass and parked at a hotel that has free wireless and tried to type things into this machine from the back of my truck, but that just wasnt happening. so i slept. and now i have some decisions to make.

but first, let me talk about my second trip to santa cruz. i left los angeles and stopped in santa barbara. i used to live in santa barbara, under a tree on cliff next to the ocean. it was an awesome time but way too much experience for my young mind. when i was here earlier on the trip i took a bunch of pictures of the place where i used to stay and did some reminiscing, this time it was really just a layover. a place to pass some time before i ended up in santa cruz.

originally i was just going to head straight up the i-5 corridor and into oregon, i did the coast on the way down. but then this band that i like, blackbird raum, was playing a show on their home turf in sc. so i decided to hesitate my trip and catch them again. i got to sc a few days too early and spent the time walking around and enjoying the place as much as i could. it is a beautiful place, but i dont like it very much.

all of santa cruz looks like this

my friend bradley lives here and i got in touch with him, he was the first person that i saw on this trip way back in may. it was awkward for me then, but i made it. this time it was not awkward at all, so, that means the thing i was talking about the other day, thats taken care of. yeah, right. in addition to seeing bradley again, tiffany and austin wanted me to meet their friends mat and vanessa who live here. since i had more time to be here before the show and not much to do i was into this idea. i went into the record store mat works at to meet him initially and then we met up later on friday night at a bar.

the bar wasnt fancy, but it was certainly not the place that i would regularly find myself. we sat there and talked for awhile with some older gentlemen from sacramento who were in town to see stephen stills. i spent this time meeting new people, and it is a strange thing, i can turn on this switch that makes me very personable to all the people around me i have no fear in the social setting and just let it all ride. and then, the next day, i will turn back into myself and have this unnatural timidity about interacting with people. jesus life is strange.

we were there for two pitchers, bradley left to go see a show and then came back just about when we were all leaving. so i left mat and vanessa and went with bradley. we went to a diner and then back to his house where we just talked for awhile before i called it a night and went back to my truck. then it was time for the next day to start. i spent it just walking all around the town, the weather was awesome and there were a bunch of people out because of the weekend. i spent some time by the river and went to a diner for breakfast in the middle of the day.

and eventually the day turned into the night an i had to do what i came here for. you know how i was talking about one night being awesome around people and the next being scared of them? well, tonight i decided to be scared of them. in honor of this i employed my friend: liquid courage. i stopped at a liquor store and got a 12 pack of pbr, sat in my truck near the house show and drank a few beers before i actually walked up to the show. i was feeling better. i engaged the first person i saw and talked with him for awhile.

see the washboard player? he is my favorite.

then i went back to my truck and got some more beer, and stood around outside talking with all the young people between shifts of hiding in the corner. i didnt go into the house until blackbird raum was about to play, the first two bands were metal bands and very loud. i could hear them just fine outside. eventually i went inside and watched bb raum play, they were much better than in riverside. the crowd was also better. i stood off to one side and really enjoyed myself for the 40 minutes that they played. i hung around this house for awhile afterwards, talked to some of the people in the band and all the young friends i made while i was drinking outside.

then i made an ass of myself and decided to call it a night. unfortunately there was wireless internet where i had parked for the night and since it was still very early and i had drank quite a bit i decided to continue making an ass out of myself by sending various messages throughout the ether. what an idiot.

in the "morning" i had a chance to remember all the dumb things i did the night before and took that opportunity to drive very fast away from santa cruz. how fast, we will never know because of my dumb speedometer being broken. my plan was to drive to redding and call it a night there. i took the 880 up through oakland and for a moment i debated actually going to san francisco. i won this debate and continued heading north. i will say that sf was really beautiful from the oakland side, the entire city was engulfed in fog and you could just see the tips of the bridges and the tops of the buildings.

the fog dissipated right at the expressway i was on, which was good, because driving in fog sucks. eventually i got to redding and there wasnt any reason for me to stay there, it was still early-ish in the day and i decided to drive to yreka. yreka had less going on than redding and the next thing i know someone is pumping my gas for me. welcome home.