flagstaff, you are doing nothing for me.

so, welcome to flagstaff. i have been here since monday, i am pretty sure and, well, there just anything great here. it doesnt help that i was immediately turned off because there is a bunch of construction happening around the downtown square and that is where i am spending a majority of my time. same as in prescott.

but, in prescott, the downtown was more like a park and this is more like a plaza. all paved. so, i am just having a hard time acclimating to it. but i have been walking aroud the downtown area, participating in some of the events, like last nights free class on the charleston two step. and i tried to go to the farmers market yesterday but couldnt find it. mostly i have been spending a bunch of time just sitting around downtown on my computer or reading a book, making necklaces.

and i am not the only one. there is a community of folks in every town that are doing what i am. generally they are older homeless folks or younger derelicts. or traveler kids. and i just dont find that i fit with any of them. although i havent showered for awhile, i am still "clean." i look clean, i look like just a regular person. i want to have some purpose and it seems with those people, specifically the ones here in flagstaff, that they are living their purpose. and i just cannot let that be me.

something that has been strange to me is my physical nature. i have been having shortness of breath and some trouble being motivated to walk around and experience things. i was trying to think what it was, and i dont think that it is because of poor health. i mean, i am not eating that great and could be doing more exercise and stuff to maintain a decent body weight and keep myself in some shape. but it feel like my heart is just having a harder time getting the energy to pump blood.

and then i figured out what it was. i have been at elevation over 5000 feet for the past two weeks or so. here the elevation is 7000 feet! which is pretty amazing. and, every little town or city calls itself "the mile high city." for some reason i always only thought that denver was a mile high city, probably because it is the biggest one, but still. i had no idea that so many communities and people existed at these extreme elevations. i have never spent a significant amount of time at a high elevation, so this is a new experience for me.

although i dont really like it here, i am staying until sunday or monday. my plan is to head to the grand canyon then and stay there for the week, mon-fri-ish. i have been emailing the park service about ways to stay there for the week. they have one campground, which is probably huge, but also costs $18/night for no hookups. and i have to pay $25 for a week pass just to be there. so, i have been asking if regular vehicles can park overnight in the regular parking lots, and i have been getting round about answers, until yesterday when i was told yes they can, but you arent allowed to sleep in them.

i am going to give it a shot anyhow. and do a number of the day hikes they have up there, and just be around experiencing the nature. i have never been to the grand canyon and apparently it is going to be some amazing awe-inspiring experience. i believe that i will be in awe, but i have been told i am not prepared for the awesomeness that i will experience.