the sunshine that surrounds me, and how i bask in it

ulysses is a good name for a person, not one that exists very much any more. at least, i have never met someone named ulysses...until yesterday. sitting in the opening bell coffee shop, in downtown dallas, i went through the craigslist pages for a mobile mechanic. my truck was dead in the water (not literally, but figuratively) and i needed to make it run good again. i went through these pages of mechanics but was hesitant to call.

i knew that it would probably cost at least $200, but it also could cost a whole lot more, and i felt that if i kept putting it off it would get cheaper. there is no rationale for thinking this way. eventually i wrote down a couple of numbers and went outside to start calling these mechanics. i dont know much about cars, so i am on the phone explaining noises to people that do know about cars. i felt kind of dumb, but i kept insisting that it was my starter that was bad. i left some messages, and finally got through to one guy.

i made the noises and explained what was happening to him, and he said that it didnt sound like a starter problem. but, he said, for $45 he could come to me right now and diagnose it and tell me how much it would be to fix it. i didnt like this fool becuase he didnt think it was a starter problem, but most other people did. so i waited. i went back inside and wrote down more numbers and then went to call again. and the first person i called was ulysses.

and he turned out to be a nice guy. it took him almost an hour to get to me, but when he got there, i fired it up and he said right away that it was the starter, that the teeth had probably worn out. who knew trucks had teeth? and do i have to rethink my belief that it is an inanimate object? questions questions. but then, he just got under the car and started working. he and his friend (who was involved in a threesome last night, fyi - he told me) worked quickly to take off the starter. ten minutes later they were getting back in their truck, with my starter and going to buy a new one.

i had a brief thought of how ridiculous it would be if these guys were actually scamming me and just came and stole a piece of my truck while i watched. so i told them that they better not be fucking with me. they assured me they would come back. it took them awhile, but they did indeed return. they both jumped right back under the truck and put on this new shiny $120 starter for my truck. this, again, was a quick procedure and after twenty minutes they were driving away with my old starter and $220. i was sitting there listening to my truck run smoothly and wallowing in my lack of funds.

its true, my bank account has dwindled to an alarming low and i think i will have to give up eating. it wouldnt be the first time, and i am sure i can only grow with the experience.

hmmm. there are a few concurrent stories that i want to flesh out here and i am not sure how to tackle them... okay, got it.

so, after they left i went back to the coffee shop and got in touch with my friend adam from dallas. our history is an interesting one, and - as per usual - not one that i am sure i have all the facts for. but first, the news. i got adam on the phone and he gave me his address, said that he would be home in an hour. so i sat in this coffee shop on the computer for a little while longer and i was approached by a slender black lady with a microphone. she started talking to me about some news story and she said she was looking for a laptop, and i was like "you want to use my laptop?"

but, she answered no. she wanted to shoot my laptop. and i was like, "you want to shoot my laptop, like, with a gun? i am kind of using it right now." she laughed and again said no. she was a news lady with the dallas 33 news team and the story was "do wireless waves cause harm" and she wanted to film me using my computer. i told her that was fine, but then she sort of crouched near me and started asking me questions. the camera came on and all of a sudden i was being interviewed for the dallas news. i thought it was hilarious. we talked for a minute or two, and i said some ridiculous things. in the end they used just a small clip of me.

i figured i had had my share of being famous and decided to cut out of there early to head towards adam's apartment. and it was a good thing i did becuase i was leaving in the throes of rush hour traffic, heading north from downtown towards the outskirts of dallas - precisely where everyone else was heading. i managed through bumper to bumper traffic for about forty minutes to go a distance similar to ten miles. not ten miles, but similar to it. and by the time i was coming up to his apartment complex it was dark and there was construction and i didnt really know what was going on around me or how to properly navigate to his location.

i pulled over somewhere, to get my bearings, and was set to call adam when the next portion of my twisting stories of the day finally gets some type time. it started on new years eve, the lady that i was with when i was ten years old, hannah carnell, found me on facebook and started chatting up a storm. since then, every time i have been online at the same time as her, she has typed up a storm of words to me. that was all okay, a bit overbearing especially because of some of the things she was saying. however, it started the night before that she found my number online and began texting me.

this, again, was okay - but not something that i was really interested in pursuing. i havent seen this person for about 20 years, so by my account she is just a stranger, a ghost of my past. true, part of this trip was meant to reconnect with my past and learn some of the things that i had forgotten. if i were still in indiana, i would be interested in meeting up with her and catching up on old times. but i have never been the type of person to keep a regular flow of communication with people that arent right around me. it is a shitty thing and i oftentimes feel bad about it, but i really think that life is full enough that i should direct as much of my being to what and who is currently around me. soak in the world and let it set.

and it was as i picked up my phone to call adam and determine where i was as compared to where was/i should be. i had a few more text messages from hannah, one of which said that i needed to "call her asap." now, i am not a very good phone person. i dont much like talking on the phone but i know it has its uses. this aversion to telephony is a big part of why i am not very present with people who arent around me. but, for whatever reason i heeded her request and hit the send button.

what i got was a tidal wave. i barely said hello before she went off on a tirade about her husband. seeing as though i barely know this person i hardly see why i should be an outlet for her to complain about the life she has found for herself. but i sat there and listened to it and then the reason why she called me came out. she believes that i am the opposite of her husband, he is grumpy and unhappy about life and - apparently - i am a ray of sunshine. then she began to tell me how i hadnt changed since i was ten years old and that i am still the same person.

these words are not the keys to my heart.

i beleive that i am a completely different person, 110% changed from whatever i was as a child. and i like it when other people notice as much. she was trying to be flattering, i am sure, but her intended effect was not being achieved. after a few more minutes of talking i informed her that i needed to leave this conversation so i could find my friend adam. i shook my head as if i had just gotten the chills and continued on with the life in front of me.

adam told me i was close, i had to drive a bit down the road and turn into a dirt road (because of all the construction) and i would be in his complex. i did as i was told and turned right at the first dirt road i came too. as it turned out this dirt road was not meant for my kind of traffic and i kind of just drove through the construction site. everything was alright though, i was in the complex. i navigated successfully with adams instructions and was soon parked and out of the truck.

when i met adam the year was 2005, we were both in austin to attend a conference mostly for the united states indymedia network. my interest in indymedia was certainly waning at the time, but this conference was a great experience for me. if nothing else it boosted my self confidence greatly. i had been working for the two previous years with portland indymedia and increasingly in the global network, but the more involved i got the more i realized that this system was never going to become what it was

this is not illegal.

intended to be. that there were too many differing opinions to shape a cohesive future. but, becuase i was heavily involved my name was kind of well known.

and, since the majority of this national and global communication happened via email this would be the first time many of us were meeting each other in person. like i said, i ate up the attention and really enjoyed the role. one of the people i met there was adam from dallas indymedia. he was a bit younger than me at the time...i think he was 17. actually, although the years have moved on the gap in our ages has remained the same. crazy how these things work. he ended up becoming pretty good friends with my good man arturo commando. and now, after almost five years i am seeing him again at his home in dallas.

and it is a really nice experience. i like catching up with my old people, and especially with adam since he is still pretty young it is nice to see what kind of person he is becoming. we sat in his apartment for awhile and caught up with one another and then he was set to take me out to an arabic restaurant for the friday night special manseh. manseh is a large piece of lamb over rice that has a yogurt sauce poured over it. it was okay, probably not something i would get again - i am

this is illegal.

not a big fan of yogurt sauce. after the meal adam ordered a hookah, strawberry flavored. i havent smoked a hookah since i was young and i wasnt very good at it.

when we were done there we came back to his apartment and played some rock band. this is not something i have played before, so i just watched him until he informed me that i could sing. i like karaoke and i likened this to karaoke. it was a bit different, because i am supposed to get the pitch right, but after a couple of songs i felt like i had a pretty good hang of it. however, by this time it was getting later and we were both tired. we watched some tv for a little bit before calling it a night. i slept on a mattress in the living room and it was pretty good.

i was up rather early in the morning and spent some hours while adam slept reading and enjoying the internet. eventually adam woke up and he took me to a vegan buffet. it had been a long time since i had vegan food and it was pretty good. then we were off to explore downtown dallas. we opted to take the light rail instead of driving. i thought that was a pretty good option, public transportation is not something i have spent much time on the last eight months. we got off downtown and walked to where john f kennedy was shot in his car. i had kind of forgotten about this event in history, but apparently it is a big tourist destination in dallas.

after that we went to the old courthouse museum and i gave my friend adam a lesson

just messin'

in sneaking. together we sneaked into this museum and then spent some time perusing the exhibits. it wasnt a very good museum, mostly because its layout was confusing. i did pay some close attention to the mary kay exhibits since a good friend of mine is related to her. then we were back out and on the train heading to the car. both of us werent feeling very well. i have a sore throat and am coming down with some sickness, adams allergies have been acting up and as i write this he is visiting the doctor to get some medicine.

and, finally, a general update for my trip. i have some plans for my movement in the coming days, and that movement will ensure that i get to 40 states before the end of this trip. that kind of became a goal awhile ago, and i didnt think was going to reach it. i figured i could only get to 39, and i started scheming a way to get to utah without burning too much gas but then i had a memory. as a technicality, i have already visited utah on this trip. that was on my first time around when i visited the four corners monument and i my body was in four states at once, so, mission accomplished.