the fox and the hound, a philadelphia story

last night was all that i ever wanted from this trip, i felt *almost* like a real person again. i had such a big smile on my face and felt like i was doing a good job at life. who knew that i had to find this in philadelphia of all places? now i feel sorry for all of the smack i was talking on this city and all these large cities yesterday. i kind of want to apologize, but i understand how futile that is and will refrain.

i met amelia last night at a small coffee shop called satellite. it reminded me of a tiny version of the red and black cafe in portland. so i felt just fine being there. she came up and looked mostly like i remember her, more tattoos and a bit more punk rock looking, but i guess thats what years of traveling and train hopping will do to a girl. as with most of my encounters i didnt feel out of place at all. it felt like we just fell back in.

i certainly dont attribute any of this to myself. i have been an asshole to many of the people in my life as it turns, i have just been fortunate to make friends with some awesome people over the years. really amazing, friendly and forgiving folks. and for that i am appreciative. she is a fashion photographer now and that seems like an awesome profession to have. even though she looks like the last person anyone would expect to be shooting models all day long.

we caught up for a couple of hours, her friend sherman was also in town and the three of us talked and enjoyed company in the coffee shop until around 9pm. then we drove my truck and her car to south philly to park by her apartment, from there we would all get in her car and drive in the center city to meet some of her friends at a bar and have some drinks.

over the last three or four years i have been perfecting some social awkwardness and general fear of people, and i got pretty good at it while i was in portland. this is my therapeautic way out of that darkness. we left for the bar and i was silently pumping myself up for a table full of strangers in a quiet yet seedy bar, trying to convince myself to be open and friendly instead of closed off and sullen. i was also feeling some separation anxiety from my truck.

i dont leave my truck very far behind often and i try to always know where it is and how to get back to it, since it houses all of my possessions and is the key for my survival on this trip. and here i was driving into the dark night of philadelphia with my truck in some unknown location in south philly. and a table full of strangers, i was a little bit nervous but when we arrived at the bar things ironed themselves out rather quickly.

the bar, called the fox and the hound (i think), was a large sports bar. it was loud and packed inside, these conditions softened up my nervousness, at least if i sat quiet and forgotten at the end of the table i could go mostly unnoticed or pass off my uncomfortability on account of the loudness of the place. but none of this stuff was necessary. ameila's friend, blakslee, came outside and found us, we all introduced, then we went inside. she was already quite drunk and offered some hilarity.

we went towards the back of the place to a table with a few other folks and we all met each other and sat for awhile trying to talk over the music. i should note that the reason this bar was chosen becuase it was $2 tuesday draft night, where all of the draft beer was being sold for $2. so it was a good deal. our server, rob, was having his first night on the floor and i took a little advantage of that. we got some drinks and hung out for awhile.

eventually it also became a karaoke bar. secretly, i love karaoke. it takes a little bit to get me up there the first time but there is such a rush after that first time i want to do it again and again. blakslee wanted to sing a duet and i volunteered for that. after a few more drinks, she went up and chose a song for us. before that i had gone outside to smoke a cigarette and met some folks out there. this was partly why i started smoking, or at least a reason i give myself to continue, for the social aspect. i met chris and some other dudes out there and they chatted me up.

true to form, i was a bit mean to them but they liked it all the same. thats something i have never understood about myself. when i am loose and enjoying people i can be a bit harsh in a joking way, but people love it. and these guys ate it up. when i went back in one of those free cigarette bar people came by our table. i engaged him and let him sign me up for something, and in return got a free zippo lighter and two tins of snus. yay? i didnt try it, instead it became a table curio and all of the folks there got a chance to inspect the tins and the little packets inside, one person actually put one in his mouth.

then my frankness with our server paid off. earlier in the night i had asked him for a free beer. he kind of laughed about it, but i told him i was serious, if they pull an extra drink or someone doesnt want their beer for some reason, bring it on over. and, to my surprise, he brought me one. i felt pretty good about that, it never hurts to ask.

then our song came on. i cannot help but laugh about it right now, because it was so ridiculous. here, i have just met this person and the duet she chooses for us to sing is "i've got you babe" by sonny and cher. perhaps you know the song? generally sung by couples or people that at least have a working knowledge of each other and good chemistry. not this time, up we went to the stage to sing our hearts out. i was hopeful that we would do well becasue the folks before us were absolutely terrible.

so, we went to sing the song and it did go well. we had some good chemistry, locking eyes as we sang parts together, hand gestures and real feeling in the song. it was exhilarating. one of the folks we were with took some pictures and i hope that i get a chance to see them. we went back to the table and talked for a bit more. amelia was making the motions for preparing to leave, and said that we would go after the drinks we had. i was kind of disappointed because i was having a good night but i wasnt so comfortable that i wanted to stay with these strangers alone with my truck somewhere away from me.

so, i went outside and had another cigarette. chris was out there again, and we chatted some more. somehow i talked him into buying me a beer, and when we went back inside he did just that. i had to go over to his table for a bit and talk with some of his folks, but that was okay. he gave me his business card and explained that he was a fashion photographer. how ironic, there was also a fashion photographer at my table. i laughed very much at this coincidence in my mind. eventually i had to take him to meet amelia.

they couldnt have been more opposite of people. and she didnt look very keen to meet this person, but played it off well enough. after that encounter we started to leave. blakslee invited me to come with her and some friends the next day to see "where the wild things are" and that sounded like a good idea to me. so we exchanged numbers and amelia, sherman and i left. outside i ran into chris again. he told me that he didnt think amelia liked him very much and i assured him that if she saw him in a dark alley somewhere she would kick his ass.

with that the three of us walked back toward her car and then drove back to her apartment. it was offered for me to sleep on the couch, but there were dogs and a number of bike messengers that lived there and in a situation like that i feel much more comfortable in the seclusion of my pickup truck. so amelia and i hung out for a final minute while her dog went to the "park" and then we parted upon the square. she went upstairs and i retired to my truck, happy.

really, i want to stress how awesome the people i meet are. sometimes i think that all people are the same everywhere (and really how could you argue with that? name something that sets one person distinctively apart from every other person in this world.) but, nights like these soften my outlook and remind that regardless of how similar we all are we are all still individuals. and all it takes is a little engagement with other folks to really experience the differences and appreciate everyone as distinct and unique beings floating in this ether of life. waning poetic.