portsmouth / the sunset / my truck

i cannot get over how great it was to spend time in portsmouth. i detailed it before, but i was just so so low and just feeling lost before that turnaround. finally, i left today. and it wasnt without second thoughts.

last night i went to see my friend brian (he can be my friend now too, i guess) play a show at a the red door. garrett had to work and the friends we went out with earlier in the day were going out to dinner with their family. so i was on my own again, with just the location of the place and a general idea of when the show started.

i was nervous to go there. it wasnt a well marked place and i didnt know if it was a venue or someones apartment, and it wouldve been awkward to walk on up to someones apartment for a show an hour before the show started. so i milled around outside for a bit and when i saw some people carrying equipment up i talked to them.

i discrened that it was indeed a club and that the show would start in the next half hour or so. i was kind of waiting for brian to show up so i could know someone there at least. it makes things so much easier when you just know someone. but he couldve already been up there. he was the first band, so i talked myself into going up there without a friend.

he wasnt there yet, so i just sat in a little room on a comfy chair. there were about 15 other people up there and a little bar. i had to pay a cover so i didnt want to shell out more money for a drink. i just sat there, waiting. looking around, but mostly just staring straight ahead. luckily brian did eventually show up, but he was late and after saying hi went into setting up.

there were people around me talking about knowing him and i thought to introduce myself, but they were a bit annoying and i didnt really know their relationship to him or, really, mine. so i continued to sit there. it wasnt that bad except the place was small and people were continuously stepping over me to get to deeper areas of the seating. that just exemplified my existence and the fact that i was sitting alone and not talking to anyone. anyway.

eventually he started playing and, at first, i was really unhappy with the music. it was really bad. but it got better. he basically improvs on the guitar and uses the pedal to loop back things he has already played and he did some chanting/singing to loop back as well. he also got some feedback in there.

what i liked about it was the non traditional aspect of the performance. he was sitting in a chair and would every now and again put the guitar down and lean over to the pedals to set the loops he wanted and accentuate some. it was performance art. it was art. so often music is just people playing instruments the way they are "supposed" to be played. and while i may not have been blown away by his performance, i did appreciate the method.

he played a few songs and then invited up to accompany him two of the ladies behind me. including the more annoying one. they played two songs and they were pretty good songs. more traditional music, but the harmony was nice. then he played another song by himself and was done. right about when he finished mark and briana, the folks i was with earlier in the day, came up. luckily i caught them before they paid, to let them know they had missed brian.

we were all outside for awhile smoking cigarettes, everyone mingling. i was still hanging back a little. but then brian and i went back up and he bought me a beer. very nice. then i sat right in front of the next band and listened to them for awhile. they werent very good, but i still liked them. specifically, i liked the hodgepodge makeup of the band.

a keyboard player with a long wispy beard and apprehensive look to his face. then a lead guitarist that spent the majority of the show with his eyes locked on the keyboard. then the rhythm guitar/singer doing his best rivers cuomo look. then the bassist, nondescript hipster. then the drummer, a very animated person with a long beard as well. he talked alot between songs. and the best person in the band was sitting on a couch next to the stage with a mic pointed at him. he was a total bro and played the trumpet. it was a pretty awesome makeup.

it was loud up there, and i enjoyed their set but if i heard the music in a recorded from i would probably dislike it. after that we were back outside and garrett was getting off work soon so brian and i with a tagalong shawn went over to mark and brianas apartment.

we had some drinks there, and talked. garrett came up after awhile, drunk. and we all talked for a fair amount longer. it was really nice. around 1 in the morning, after shawn and brian had left i got up to leave. garrett was staying the night in the guest bedroom and the three of them implored me to sleep on the couch. i resisted for a moment and then realized how dumb that was and accepted. who knows when i will sleep indoors again?

i slept until about nine and then sat and read for awhile waiting for someone else to get up. thats one of the worst things, to me, about sleeping on someones couch. the morning i am just sitting there, i cant really leave and i dont want to make noise to wake anyone. so i am just silent and still. i am glad i had my book with me.

shortly, garrett came out and we went to the coffee shop. after awhile we went back tot he apartment and then we all got together to go to breakfast. we were meeting brian and a number of other folks at a breakfast place on the other side of town. that was nice. the other folks were shawn and the ladies from the night before. sitting at the table, now, they talked to me. now that i was a real person in the group.

and i cannot, i do not know the words to describe how good it felt to be part of that group. a group of people that are mostly friends, talking about the things that they will get up to in the day, people pairing off to enjoy the day together, just conversation. it felt so great. it was sad because i knew that i had to leave that day. sheena wasnt as annoying this day and i just wanted to be able to stay for more days and really be friends with these people.

but, i knew i couldnt. time isnt on my side here. garrett, brian, briana, marka nd i went back to the apartment for a little bit and then it was time to go. they had their days in order and were starting them and i had to set off. i gave them hugs and thanked them for their hospitality. i also gave them all macrame hemp jewelry, and then i was off. i went to my truck and into the sunset.

(but it was just after noon, so the sun wasnt technically setting.) i headed south on highway 1 towards boston. i didnt want to go straight there, i had planned to stop halfway but that town went by so quick. i ended up coming here to salem, massachusettes. for most of the years of my life i thought that the salem witch trials happened in salem oregon. it was probably around 2003/4 when i realized that salem oregon wasnt even a place of europeans when the witch trials happened.

then i found out that it was salem, mass and here i am. it is a touristy place, but seems like it will be good to sleep and then explore for a bit in the morning. i am in the boston metro area right now so i will probably go into town tomorrow and see what that place says to me. i doubt i will stay there long, but it is there.