my first bike trip / my lack of discipline

5/20 11:28am: so i was driving along down highway 1 and thoughts of the bike trip steve and i had just started flooding my mind, and then, something i had completely forgotten popped into my head. my first bike trip, with steve, circa 1997.

why, i do not remember, i think we were riding out to the city of one of steves online girlfriends, i could be wrong, but it was late at night, and steve probably had the idea to go on a bike ride. at that age i was up for anything and had very little care in the world. especially no care for rules and really no rules at all.

i think my stepmom, bobbie, tried to impose rules at somepoint...because she cared. but i didnt and didnt follow them and they were quickly forgotten. so, when an idea like riding bikes throughout the night comes up there isnt a hesitation, i follow. i had a decrepit bike. really, no something you would want to casually ride on a multi-use path let alone riding on bad city streets at one in the morning. or on the expressway.

because in indiana/illinois people get around using the expressways. so, that being the quickest route to our destination we rode our bikes onto the expressway toward south chicago i believe. that didnt last long. eventually we were pulled over by a police oficer and told to leave the expressway, non-motorized traffic not allowed.

so we did, where were we? i dont know maybe harvey illinois or something. maybe not close to there yet, i think thats where we ended up. somewhere along the way i got a flat tire and just kept riding. seriously, why not? so we rode our bikes for hours, into the daylight and i am pretty sure we came to harvey and steve went to his online gf's house but i dont remember him actually doing anything there, just going to the house and then we found a payphone.

at around 7 or 8 in the morning i called my dad and said, look i dont know exactly where we are, but we rode our bikes all night long and could you come get us. my dad, being great, did. no questions really just okay, i will be there in a little bit. thats the kind of discipline i grew up on. never having to explain myself or my actions, and always believing that my dad or someone would be there to bail me out.

so really, i grew up not really having any consequences for my actions. that turned out good and bad. bad, because i dont really express myself well or feel like i have to explain myself or the situations i am in, i expect people to just understand them without explnation. or maybe to not even attempt to understand them, for them to just be and whatever they are for them to be normal.

the good is that i just had an open horizon. i was never really held back from doing anything or felt that i had restraints. anything that i wanted to do i could do and usually did do. that led to a lack of discipline, and when you are 12-17 sometimes direction and boundaries are good, they help shape a person.

but i just had me and my experiences, tv, and the few friends i had until i was 16 to bounce life off of and just chart it. here i am now.