los angeles!

i am done contemplating my life on an oxnard beach. yesterday i rolled into ventura and walked around the downtown for a bit. i peed on city hall. and ate some strawberries from a community garden. it was pretty nice.

all of these little coastal communities seem similar, very tourist oriented, and transient. it would be hard to live in one of these places i think. so, no more romanticizing about it. especially after los angeles. i have a dread feeling that i am going to be overwhelmed and by this city.

after much deliberation and some courage boosts, i called tiffany yesterday. i dont know why i am so nervous but it just is that way, after the first few folks that i reconnect with maybe the nervousness will die down a bit. but we chatted for some minutes and she is going to call me today and we will hang out.

i am excited and nervous. what if she has changed so much but i just havent at all? that is soemthing that worries me, because i really do think that i have changed, but it is really other people that determine that, not me. so, right now i am about to head down the 1 towards malibu and then into LA.

wish me luck.